“I knew it wouldn’t do any good to argue. I had tried that sortof thing too long. So I thought of getting the ‘yes， yes’ response.
“ ‘Well， now look， Mr. Smith，’ I said. ‘I agree with you a hundredpercent; if those motors are running too hot， you ought not tobuy any more of them. You must have motors that won’t run anyhotter than standards set by the National Electrical ManufacturersAssociation. Isn’t that so?’
“He agreed it was. I had gotten my first ‘yes.’
“ ‘the Electrical Manufacturers Association regulations saythat a properly designed motor may have a temperature of 72 degrees Fahrenheit above room temperature. Is that correct?’
“ ‘Yes，’ he agreed. ‘that’s quite correct. But your motors aremuch hotter.’
“I didn’t argue with him. I merely asked： ‘How hot is the millroom?’
“ ‘Oh，’ he said， ‘about 75 degrees Fahrenheit.’
“ ‘Well，’ I replied， ‘if the mill room is 75 degrees and you add72 to that， that makes a total of 147 degrees Fahrenheit. Wouldn’tyou scald your hand if you held it under a spigot of hot water at atemperature of 147 degrees Fahrenheit?’
“Again he had to say ‘yes.’
“ ‘Well，’ I suggested，‘wouldn’t it he a good idea to keep yourhands off those motors?’
“ ‘Well， I guess you’re right，’ he admitted. We continuedto chat for a while. Then he called his secretary and lined upapproximately? ＄35，000 worth of business for the ensuing month.
Eddie Snow， who sponsors our courses in Oakland， California，tells how he became a good customer of a shop because theproprietor got him to say “yes， yes.” Eddie had become interestedin bow hunting and had spent considerable money in purchasingequipment and supplies from a local bow store. When his brotherwas visiting him he wanted to rent a bow for him from this store.
The sales clerk told him they didn’t rent bows， so Eddie phonedanother bow store. Eddie described what happened：“A very pleasant gentleman answered the phone. His responseto my question for a rental was completely different from theother place. He said he was sorry but they no longer rented bowsbecause they couldn’t afford to do so. He then asked me if I hadrented before. I replied， ‘Yes， several years ago.’ He reminded methat I probably paid? ＄25 to? ＄30 for the rental. I said ‘yes’ again.
He then asked if I was the kind of person who liked to save money.
Naturally， I answered ‘yes.’ He went on to explain that they had bow sets with all the necessary equipment on sale for? ＄34.95. I couldbuy a complete set for only? ＄4.95 more than I could rent one. Heexplained that is why they had discontinued renting them. Did Ithink that was reasonable? My ‘yes’ response led to a purchase ofthe set， and when I picked it up I purchased several more items atthis shop and have since become a regular customer.”
Socrates， “the gadfly of Athens，” was one of the greatestphilosophers the world has ever known. He did something thatonly a handful of men in all history have been able to do： hesharply changed the whole course of human thought; and now，twenty-four centuries after his death， he is honored as one of thewisest persuaders who ever influenced this wrangling world.
His method? Did he tell people they were wrong? Oh， no， notSocrates. He was far too adroit for that. His whole technique， nowcalled the “Socratic method，” was based upon getting a “yes， yes”
response. He asked questions with which his opponent wouldhave to agree. He kept on winning one admission after anotheruntil he had an armful of yeses. He kept on asking questionsuntil finally， almost without realizing it， his opponents foundthemselves embracing a conclusion they would have bitterlydenied a few minutes previously.
The next time we are tempted to tell someone he or she iswrong， let’s remember old Socrates and ask a gentle question—aquestion that will get the “yes， yes” response. The Chinese have aproverb pregnant with the age-old wisdom of the Orient：“He whotreads softly goes far.”
PRINCIPLE 5：
Get the other person saying “yes， yes” immediately.
Chapter 15
The Safety Valve in Handling complaints
Must people trying to win others to their way of thinking dotoo much talking themselves. Let the other people talk themselvesout. They know more about their business and problems than youdo. So ask them questions. Let them tell you a few things.
If you disagree with them you may be tempted to interrupt.
But don’t. It is dangerous. They won’t pay attention to you whilethey still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression.
So listen patiently and with an open mind. Be sincere about it.
Encourage them to express their ideas fully.
Does this policy pay in business? Let’s see. Here is the story ofa sales representative who was forced to try it.
One of the largest automobile manufacturers in the UnitedStates was negotiating for a year’s requirements of upholsteryfabrics. Three important manufacturers had worked up fabricsin sample bodies. These had all been inspected by the executivesof the motor company， and notice had been sent to eachmanufacturer saying that， on a certain day， a representative fromeach supplier would be given an opportunity to make a final pleafor the contract.
G.B.R.， a representative of one manufacturer， arrived in townwith a severe attack of laryngitis. “When it came my turn to meetthe executives in conference，” Mr. R—said as he related the storybefore one of my classes， “I had lost my voice. I could hardlywhisper. I was ushered into a room and found myself face toface with the textile engineer， the purchasing agent， the director of sales and the president of the company. I stood up and madea valiant effort to speak， but I couldn’t do anything more thansqueak.
“They were all seated around a table， so I wrote on a pad ofpaper： ‘Gentlemen， I have lost my voice. I am speechless.’