“ ‘I’ll do the talking for you，’ the president said. He did. Heexhibited my samples and praised their good points. A livelydiscussion arose about the merits of my goods. And the president，since he was talking for me， took the position I would have hadduring the discussion My sole participation consisted of smiles，nods and a few gestures.
“As a result of this unique conference， I was awarded thecontract， which called for over half a million yards of upholsteryfabrics at an aggregate value of? ＄1，600，000—the biggest order Ihad ever received.
“I know I would have lost the contract if I hadn’t lost my voice，because I had the wrong idea about the whole proposition. Idiscovered， quite by accident， how richly it sometimes pays to letthe other person do the talking.”
Even our friends would much rather talk to us about theirachievements than listen to us boast about ours. La Rochefoucauld，the French philosopher， said：“If you want enemies， excel yourfriends; but if you want friends， let your friends excel you.”
Why is that true? Because when our friends excel us， they feelimportant; but when we excel them， they—or at least some ofthem—will feel inferior and envious.
PRINCIPLE 6：
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Chapter 16
How to Get Cooperation
Don’t you have much more faith in ideas that you discover foryourself than in ideas that are handed to you on a silver platter?
If so， isn’t it bad judgment to try to ram your opinions down thethroats of other people? Isn’t it wiser to make suggestions—andlet the other person think out the conclusion?
Adolph Seltz of Philadelphia， sales manager in an automobileshowroom and a student in one of my courses， suddenly foundhimself confronted with the necessity of injecting enthusiasm intoa discouraged and disorganized group of automobile salespeople.
Calling a sales meeting， he urged his people to tell him exactlywhat they expected from him. As they talked， he wrote their ideason the blackboard. He then said： “I’ll give you all these qualitiesyou expect from me. Now I want you to tell me what I have a rightto expect from you.” The replies came quick and fast： loyalty，honesty， initiative， optimism， teamwork， eight hours a day ofenthusiastic work， The meeting ended with a new courage， a newinspiration—one salesperson volunteered to work fourteen hoursa day—and Mr. Seltz reported to me that the increase of sales wasphenomenal.
“The people had made a sort of moral bargain with me，” saidMr. Seltz， “and as long as I lived up to my part in it， they weredetermined to live up to theirs. Consulting them about theirwishes and desires was just the shot in the arm they needed.”
No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold some-thingor told to do a thing. We much prefer to feel that we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own ideas. We like to beconsulted about our wishes， our wants， our thoughts.
Take the case of Eugene Wesson. He lost countless thousandsof dollars in commissions before he learned this truth. Mr.
Wesson sold sketches for a studio that created designs for stylistsand textile manufacturers. Mr. Wesson had called on one of theleading stylists in New York once a week， every week for threeyears. “He never refused to see me，” said Mr. Wesson， “but henever bought. He always looked over my sketches very carefullyand then said： ‘No， Wesson， I guess we don’t get together today.’ ”
After 150 failures， Wesson realized he must be in a mentalrut， so he resolved to devote one evening a week to the study ofinfluencing human behavior， to help him develop new ideas andgenerate new enthusiasm.
He decided on this new approach. With half a dozen unfinishedartists’ sketches under his arm， he rushed over to the buyer’s office.
“I want you to do me a little favor， if you will，” he said. “Here aresome uncompleted sketches. Won’t you please tell me how wecould finish them up in such a way that you could use them?”
The buyer looked at the sketches for a while without utteringa word. Finally he said： “Leave these with me for a few days，Wesson， and then come back and see me.”
Wesson returned three davs later， got his suggestions， tookthe sketches back to the studio and had them finished accordingto the buyer’s ideas. The result? All accepted.
After that， this buyer ordered scores of other sketches fromWesson， all drawn according to the buyer’s ideas. “I realized whyI had failed for years to sell him，” said Mr. Wesson. “I had urgedhim to buy what I thought he ought to have. Then I changed myapproach completely. I urged him to give me his ideas. This madehim feel that he was creating the designs. And he was. I didn’thave to sell him. He bought.”
This same psychology was used by an X-ray manufacturer tosell his equipment to one of the largest hospitals in Brooklyn.
This hospital was building an addition and preparing to equip itwith the finest X-ray department in America. Dr. L—， who wasin charge of the X-ray department， was overwhelmed with salesrepresentatives， each caroling the praises of his own company’sequipment.
One manufacturer， however， was more skillful. He knew farmore about handling human nature than the others did. He wrotea letter something like this：Our factory has recently completed a new line of X-rayequipment. The first shipment of these machines has just arrivedat our office. They are not perfect. We know that， and we wantto improve them. So we should be deeply obligated to you if youcould find time to look them over and give us your ideas abouthow they can be made more serviceable to your profession.
Knowing how occupied you are， I shall be glad to send my car foryou at any hour you specify.
“I was surprised to get that letter，” Dr. L— said as he related theincident before the class. “I was both surprised and complimented.
I had never had an X-ray manufacturer seeking my advice before.