WINTERFIELD MAKES EXTRACTS.
First Extract.
April 11th, 1869.--Mrs.Eyrecourt and her daughter have left Beaupark to-day for London.Have I really made any impression on the heart of the beautiful Stella? In my miserable position--ignorant whether I am free or not--I have shrunk from formally acknowledging that I love her.
12th.--I am becoming superstitious! In the Obituary of to-day's _Times_ the death is recorded of that unhappy woman whom I was mad enough to marry.After hearing nothing of her for seven years--I am free! Surely this is a good omen? Shall I follow the Eyrecourts to London, and declare myself? I have not confidence enough in my own power of attraction to run the risk.Better to write first, in strictest confidence, to Mrs.Eyrecourt.
14th.--An enchanting answer from my angel's mother, written in great haste.They are on the point of leaving for Paris.Stella is restless and dissatisfied; she wants change of scene; and Mrs.
Eyrecourt adds, in so many words--"It is you who have upset her;why did you not speak while we were at Beaupark?" I am to hear again from Paris.Good old Father Newbliss said all along that she was fond of me, and wondered, like Mrs.Eyrecourt, why Ifailed to declare myself.How could I tell them of the hideous fetters which bound me in tho se days?
18th, Paris.--She has accepted me! Words are useless to express my happiness.
19th.--A letter from my lawyer, full of professional subtleties and delays.I have no patience to enumerate them.We move to Belgium to-morrow.Not on our way back to England--Stella is so little desirous of leaving the Continent that we are likely to be married abroad.But she is weary of the perpetual gayety and glitter of Paris, and wants to see the old Belgian cities.Her mother leaves Paris with regret.The liveliest woman of her age that I ever met with.
Brussels, May 7.--My blessing on the old Belgian cities.Mrs.
Eyrecourt is so eager to get away from them that she backs me in hurrying the marriage, and even consents, sorely against the grain, to let the wedding be celebrated at Brussels in a private and unpretending way.She has only stipulated that Lord and Lady Loring (old friends) shall be present.They are to arrive tomorrow, and two days afterward we are to be married.
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(An inclosure is inserted in this place.It consists of the death-bed confession of Mr.Winterfield's wife, and of the explanatory letter written by the rector of Belhaven.The circumstances related in these documents, already known to the reader, are left to speak for themselves, and the Extracts from the Diary are then continued.).......
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Bingen, on the Rhine, May 19.--Letters from Devonshire at last, which relieve my wretchedness in some small degree.The frightful misfortune at Brussels will at least be kept secret, so far as Iam concerned.Beaupark House is shut up, and the servants are dismissed, "in consequence of my residence abroad." To Father Newbliss I have privately written.Not daring to tell him the truth, I leave him to infer that my marriage engagement has been broken off, he writes back a kind and comforting letter.Time will, I suppose, help me to bear my sad lot.Perhaps a day may come when Stella and her friends will know how cruelly they have wronged me.
London, November 18,1860.--The old wound has been opened again.Imet her accidentally in a picture gallery.She turned deadly pale, and left the place.Oh, Stella! Stella!
London, August 12, 1861.--Another meeting with her.And another shock to endure, which I might not have suffered if I had been a reader of the marriage announcements in the newspapers.Like other men, I am in the habit of leaving the marriage announcements to the women.
I went to visit an agreeable new acquaintance, Mr.Romayne.His wife drove up to the house while I was looking out of window.Irecognized Stella! After two years, she has made use of the ******* which the law has given to her.I must not complain of that, or of her treating me like a stranger, when her husband innocently introduced us.But when are were afterward left together for a few minutes--no! I cannot write down the merciless words she said to me.Why am I fool enough to be as fond of her as ever?
Beaupark, November 16.--Stella's married life is not likely to be a happy one.To-day's newspaper announces the conversion of her husband to the Roman Catholic Faith.I can honestly say I am sorry for her, knowing how she has suffered, among her own relatives, by these conversions.But I so hate him, that this proof of his weakness is a downright consolation to me.
Beaupark, January 27, 1862.--A letter from Stella, so startling and deplorable that I cannot remain away from her after reading it.Her husband has deliberately deserted her.He has gone to Rome, to serve his term of probation for the priesthood.I travel to London by to-day's train.
London, January 27.--Short as it is, I looked at Stella's letter again and again on the journey.The tone of the closing sentences is still studiously cold.After informing me that she is staying with her mother in London, she concludes her letter in these terms:
"Be under no fear that the burden of my troubles will be laid on your shoulders.Since the fatal day when we met at Ten Acres, you have shown forbearance and compassion toward me.I don't stop to inquire if you are sincere--it rests with you to prove that.But I have some questions to ask, which no person but you can answer.
For the rest, my friendless position will perhaps plead with you not to misunderstand me.May I write again?"Inveterate distrust in every sentence! If any other woman had treated me in this way, I should have put her letter into the fire, and should not have stirred from my comfortable house.
January 29.--A day missed out of my Diary.The events of yesterday unnerved me for the time.
Arriving at Derwent's Hotel on the evening of the 27th, I sent a line to Stella by messenger, to ask when she could receive me.