“This is a red-letter day in my life， It is the first time I haveever had the good fortune to meet the representatives of theemployees of this great company， its officers and superintendents，together， and I can assure you that I am proud to be here， andthat I shall remember this gathering as long as I live. Had thismeeting been held two weeks ago， I should have stood here astranger to most of you， recognizing a few faces. Having had theopportunity last week of visiting all the camps in the southern coal field and of talking individually with practically all of therepresentatives， except those who were away; having visited inyour homes， met many of your wives and children， we meet herenot as strangers， but as friends， and it is in that spirit of mutualfriendship that I am glad to have this opportunity to discuss withyou our common interests.
“Since this is a meeting of the officers of the company and therepresentatives of the employees， it is only by your courtesy that Iam here， for I am not so fortunate as to be either one or the other;and yet I feel that I am intimately associated with you men， for， ina sense， I represent both the stockholders and the directors.”
Suppose Rockefeller had taken a different tack. Suppose hehad argued with those miners and hurled devastating facts in theirfaces. Suppose he had told them by his tones and insinuationsthat they were wrong Suppose that， by all the rules of logic， he hadproved that they were wrong. What would have happened? Moreanger would have been stirred up， more hatred， more revolt.
If a man’s heart is rankling with discord and ill feeling towardyou， you can’t win him to your way of thinking with all the logicin Christendom. Scolding parents and domineering bosses andhusbands and nagging wives ought to realize that people don’twant to change their minds. They can’t he forced or driven toagree with you or me. But they may possibly be led to， if we aregentle and friendly， ever so gentle and ever so friendly.
Lincoln said that， in effect， over a hundred years ago. Here arehis words：
It is an old and true maxim that “a drop of honey catches moreflies than a gallon of gall.” So with men， if you would win a manto you cause， first convince him that you are his sincere friend.
Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart; which， say whatyou will， is the great high road to his reason.
Business executives have learned that it pays to be friendlyto strikers. For example， when 2，500 employees in the WhiteMotor company’s plant struck for higher wages and a unionshop， Robert F. Black， then president of the company， didn’t losehis temper and condemn and threaten and talk of tryanny andcommunists. He actually praised the strikers. He published anadvertisement in the Cleveland papers， complimenting them on“the peaceful way in which they laid down their tools.” Findingthe strike pickets idle， he bought them a couple of dozen baseballbats and gloves and invited them to play ball on vacant lots. Forthose who preferred bowling， he rented a bowling alley.
This friendliness on Mr. Black’s part did what friendlinessalways does： it begot friendliness. So the strikers borrowedbrooms， shovels， and rubbish carts， and began picking up matches，papers， cigarette stubs， and cigar butts around the factory. Imagineit！ Imagine strikers tidying up the factory grounds while battlingfor higher wages and recognition of the union. Such an eventhad never been heard of before in the long， tempestuous historyof American labor wars. That strike ended with a compromisesettlement within a week—ended without any ill feeling or rancor.
Daniel Webster， who looked like a god and talked like Jehovah，was one of the most successful advocates who ever pleaded acase; yet he ushered in his most powerful arguments with suchfriendly remarks as：“It will be for the jury to consider，”“Thismay perhaps be worth thinking of，”“Here are some facts that Itrust you will not lose sight of，” or “You， with your knowledge ofhuman nature， will easily see the significance of these facts.” Nobulldozing. No high-pressure methods. No attempt to force hisopinions on others. Webster used the soft-spoken， quiet， friendlyapproach， and it helped to make him famous.
You may never be called upon to settle a strike or address a jury， but you may want to get your rent reduced. Will the friendlyapproach help you then? Let’s see.
O. L. Straub， an engineer， wanted to get his rent reduced.
And he knew his landlord was hard-boiled. “I wrote him，” Mr.
Straub said in a speech before the class， “notifying him that Iwas vacating my apartment as soon as my lease expired. Thetruth was， I didn’t want to move. I wanted to stay if I could getmy rent reduced. But the situation seemed hopeless. Othertenants had tried—and failed. Everyone told me that the landlordwas extremely difficult to deal with. But I said to myself， ‘I amstudying a course in how to deal with people， so I’ll try it onhim—and see how it works.’
“He and his secretary came to see me as soon as he got myletter. I met him at the door with a friendly greeting. I fairlybubbled with good will and enthusiasm. I didn’t begin talkingabout how high the rent was. I began talking about how muchI liked his apartment house. Believe me， I was ‘hearty in myapprobation and lavish in my praise.’ I complimented him on theway he ran the building and told him I should like so much tostay for another year but I couldn’t afford it.
“He had evidently never had such a reception from a tenant.
He hardly knew what to make of it.
“Then he started to tell me his troubles. complaining tenants.
One had written him fourteen letters， some of them positivelyinsulting. Another threatened to break his lease unless thelandlord kept the man on the floor above from snoring. ‘What arelief it is，’ he said， ‘to have a satisfied tenant like you.’ And then，without my even asking him to do it， he offered to reduce my renta little. I wanted more， so I named the figure I could afford to pay，and he accepted without a word.