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第37章 Developing Self-confidence培养自信

Anonymous

心灵寄语

你是否总感觉自己在大庭广众下局促不安,发言时底气不足,甚至结结巴巴?很多人会把它们归因于发挥失常、运气不佳。其实这些状况背后的元凶很可能就是个人因素的不自信。

Indeed, self-confidence is that very quality in humanity which refuses to stay defeated. It is a kind of stubborn1 cheerfulness.

Confidence is a feeling—an inner fire and an outer radiance2,a basic satisfaction with what one is plus a reading out to become more. Confidence is not something a few people are born with and others are not, for it is an acquired characteristic.

Confidence is the personal possession of no one;the person who has it learns it and goes on learning. The most gifted individual on earth has to construct confidence in his gifts from the basis of faith and experience, like anybody else. The tools will differ from one person to the next, but the essential task is the same. Confidence and pose are available to us all according to our abilities and needs—not somebody else"s—provided we utilize our gifts and expand them.

One of the most rewarding3 aspects of confidence is that it sits gracefully on every age and level of life—on children, men, women, the famous, the obscure, rich, poor, artist, executive, teenager, the very old. And you can take it with you into old age. There is nothing more inspiring than an old person who maintains his good will, humor, and faith in himself, in others, in the future. Conversely, the root cause of old people"s despair is feeling of not being wanted, of nothing to contribute, no more to conquer and become.

Most people have more to work with than they realize. One noted4 physicist calls this unused excellencies and finding and releasing this potential in ourselves is one of the major challenges of modern life. The great danger is not that we shall overreach our capacities but that we shall undervalue and under-employ them, thus blighting5 our great possibilities.

The goal of life is not a problemless existence, which would be unbearably dull, but a way to handle problems creatively. That word“problem”may sound a little prickly6,but it only means a question put forth for solution, and actually life consists of a series of problems-and-solutions, each different from the last.

Confidence is delight—delight in living, in being who you are, in what you do, in growing, in the endless and sometimes exasperating7 adventure of what it means to be human. The teacher who delights in teaching has no time for bogging down8 in a swamp of doubt that he or she is doing it“right”,and they are well aware that they can become a better teacher tomorrow, but only by doing their best today and enjoying today. So, too, the mother who delights in being a mother does not worry overmuch about whether she fits the rules. She is not the mother, after all, of something material but of a living child.

Rules can often be a guide to successful living, but they are not a substitute for living. Rules never quite keep up with reality, because rules come from experience, not the other way around. Life happens, and it is infinitely inventive. It will always outrun and outmaneuver9 any attempt to bottle it up in a cut-and-dried system, for life is perpetual10 becoming. When life turns your wisest plans or best rules upside down, throw out the plans and bend with the circumstance. You will find powers you did not expect, and possibilities undreamed of.

佚名

实际上,自信是人类所具有的一种特殊品质。它让我们不甘于一败涂地,它让我们在绝不退让中获得愉悦。

自信可以被感知——它既是一个人内心的火焰,也是外在的光芒,它使人们在获得基本的满足感之后有更高的向往和追求。自信不是某些人与生俱来,而其他人没有的品质,它是后天形成的。

自信并不是专属于某个人的私有物;自信可以通过学习获得,同时又能促进一个人不断地学习。在这个世界上,再聪明的人也同其他人一样,以信念和经历为基础来建立自信。虽然不同的人使用的方法不尽相同,但最终的目的是一致的。只要我们依靠自己的能力,根据自己的需求,运用自己的才智,并不断发扬这些特点,最终会获得自信和沉着。

自信最令人欣慰的一点就是,它不受年龄和生活水准的限制,伴随着我们每个人——无论是小孩、男人、女人、名人、平凡人、还是富人、穷人、艺术家、行政人员,青少年、老人。你甚至可以满怀自信地步入老年。一个老人能够保持对自己、对他人、对未来怀有美好的愿望,拥有乐观的心境和坚定的信念,这是多么鼓舞人心啊!反之,令老年人绝望的根源在于感觉自己不被社会所需要,没有贡献,无所征服和无所成就。

大多数人都拥有巨大的潜能,而他们却没有意识到这一点。一位著名的物理学家认为自信是人类尚待利用的优势资源,发展和释放我们自身的这种潜能,是当代生活中主要的挑战之一。最大的危险并非高估自己的能力,而是我们会低估并且不能充分利用这些能力,从而阻碍了自己潜能的开发。

我们不应该把追求无忧无虑的生活当做自己生活的目标,那样的生活单调得令人难以忍受。创造性地解决问题才能使生活变得有意义。或许“问题”这个词听起来很棘手,但是它仅仅代表一个有待解决问题的提出。事实上,生活是由许多个提出问题和解决问题的重复环节组成的,而且每个问题都往往与众不同。

自信是令人愉悦的,它使你的生活充满了喜悦,让快乐包围你,让你快乐地工作,快乐地成长,快乐地去体验人类必经的各种坎坷历程。以教书育人为乐的老师,无暇怀疑自己做得是否正确,他们清楚地知道只要每一天都尽心尽力地做好工作,就可以成为更好的老师。一个母亲也同样不会过多地担心自己是否适合这个角色。毕竟她照顾的是一个活生生的孩子,而不是无生命的物质。

规则常常引领我们走向成功,但它们不能代替生活。规则并不完全与事实相吻合,要知道规则是从经验中总结而来,而不是从规则中总结经验。生活拥有无限的创造力。生活总会超越那些试图束缚它的干巴巴的规章体系,因为生活总处于不断的变化之中。当生活打乱你精心制定的计划或准则时,那么摒弃那些计划,随机应变吧!你会获取意想不到的力量,以及做梦也无法想象的可能性。

词汇空间 ocabulary

1.stubborn adj. 顽固的;固执的

2.radiance n. 发光,光辉

3.rewarding adj. 值得做的;有益的

4.noted adj. 闻名的,著名的

5.blighting adj. 枯萎的

6.prickly adj. 棘手的,难处理的

7.exasperating adj. 使人恼怒的

8.bog down陷入困境,停顿

9.outmaneuver v. 以策略制胜,以机动性胜过

10.perpetual adj. 永久的;终身的

文化链接 Culture Background

名人自信小故事

在逆境中不失自信,古今中外屡见不鲜:张海迪幼年因病高位截瘫,她自信努力,成为作家翻译家;被誉为科技“铁人”的高士其,他在病情不断恶化,从半身瘫痪到全身瘫痪,失去讲话能力的情况下,他还创作了60多万字的科学小品和科普论文,创作了两千多行诗歌,著述新书十几本;屈原被流放写成《离骚》;孙子受膑刑后著《孙子兵法》;司马迁遭宫刑写《史记》;贝多芬耳聋后谱出《英雄交响乐》;奥斯特洛夫斯基在失明、瘫痪中写出《钢铁是怎样炼成的》。

妙语拾珠

1.Indeed, self-confidence is that very quality in humanity which refuses to stay defeated. It is a kind of stubborn cheerfulness.

实际上,自信是人类所具有的一种特殊品质。它让我们不甘与一败涂地,它让我们在绝不退让中获得愉悦。

2.Confidence is delight—delight in living, in being who you are, in what you do, in growing, in the endless and sometimes exasperating adventure of what it means to be human.

自信是令人愉悦的,它使你的生活充满了喜悦,让快乐包围你,让你快乐地工作,快乐地成长,快乐地去体验人类必经的各种坎坷历程。