“There you are twice mistaken，” said Judson Tate， distributing the words over at least an octave of his wonderful voice， “I did not say that the country I spoke of was in South America—I must be careful， my dear man. I have been in politics there， you know. But， even so—I have played chess against its president with a set carved from the nasal bones of the tapir—one of our native specimensspecimen n.范例， 标本， 样品， 样本， 待试验物 of the order of perissodactyle ungulates inhabiting the Cordilleras—which was as pretty ivory as you would care to see.
“那你就错上加错了。”贾德森·塔特说，他那美妙动人的声音抑扬顿挫，至少有八个音度宽，“我并没说我所谈的国家在南美洲呀——我必须谨慎，亲爱的朋友；要知道，我在那里是搞过政治的。虽然如此，我跟那个国家的总统下过棋，棋子是用貘的鼻骨雕刻成的——貘是安第斯山区的一种角蹄类动物——看起来同上好的象牙一模一样。
But it was of romance and adventure and the ways of women that was I going to tell you， and not of zoologicalzoological adj.动物学的 animals.
我要告诉你的不是动物，而是浪漫史和冒险，以及女人的气质。
For fifteen years I was the ruling power behind old Sancho Benavides， the Royal High Thumbscrew of the republic. Youve seen his picture in the papers—a mushy black man with whiskerswhiskers n.腮须， 胡须 like the notes on a Swiss musicbox cylinder， and a scroll in his right hand like the ones they write births on in the family Bible. Well， that chocolate potentatepotentate n.当权者 used to be the biggest item of interest anywhere between the colour line and the parallels of latitude. It was three throws， horses， whether he was to wind up in the Hall of Fame or the Bureau of Combustibles. Hed have been sure called the Roosevelt of the Southern Continent if it hadnt been that Grover Cleveland was President at the time. Hed hold office a couple of terms， then hed sit out for a hand—always after appointing his own successorsuccessor n.继承者， 接任者， 后续的事物 for the interims.
十五年来，我一直是那个共和国至高无上的独裁者老桑乔·贝纳维德斯背后的统治力量。你在报上见过他的相片——一个窝囊的黑家伙，脸上的胡子像是瑞士音乐富圆筒上的钢丝，右手握着一卷像是记家谱的《圣经》扉页那样的纸头。这个巧克力色的统治者一向是种族分界线和纬线之间最惹人注意的人物。很难预料他的结局是登上群英殿呢，还是身败名裂。当时，如果不是格罗弗·克利夫兰在做总统的话，他一定会被称做南方大陆的罗斯福。他总是当一两任总统，指定了继任人选之后，再退休一个时期。
But it was not Benavides， the Liberator， who was making all this fame for himself. Not him. It was Judson Tate. Benavides was only the chip over the bug. I gave him the tip when to declare war and increase import duties and wear his state trousers. But that wasnt what I wanted to tell you. How did I get to be It？ Ill tell you. Because Im the most gifted talker that ever made vocal sounds since Adam first opened his eyes， pushed aside the smellingsalts， and asked， “Where am I？”
但是替“解放者”贝纳维德斯赢得这些声誉的并不是他自己。不是他，而是贾德森·塔特。贝纳维德斯只不过是个傀儡。我总是指点他，什么时候该宣战，什么时候该提高进口税，什么时候该穿大礼服。但是我要讲给你听的并不是这种事情。我怎么会成为有力人物的呢？我告诉你吧。自从亚当睁开眼睛，推开嗅盐瓶，问道：“我怎么啦”以来，能发出声音的人中间，要数我最出色。”
As you observe， I am about the ugliest man you ever saw outside the gallery of photographs of the New England early Christian Scientists. So， at an early age， I perceivedperceive vt.察觉 v.感知， 感到， 认识到 that what I lacked in looks I must make up in eloquence. That Ive done. I get what I go after. As the backstop and still small voice of old Benavides I made all the great historical powersbehindthethrone， such as Talleyrand， Mrs. de Pompadour， and Loeb， look as small as the minority report of a Duma. I could talk nations into or out of debt， harangueharangue n.尤指指责性的， 长篇大论， 夸张的话 vt.向……夸大地讲话， (作)长篇、大声、常带斥责的讲话 armies to sleep on the battlefield， reduce insurrectionsinsurrection n.起义， inflammations， taxes， appropriationsappropriation n.据为己有， 占有， 挪用(只指定用途的一笔)， 拨款 or surplusessurplus n.剩余， 过剩， ［会计］盈余 adj.过剩的，剩余的 vt.转让， 卖掉 with a few words， and call up the dogs of war or the dove of peace with the same birdlike whistle. Beauty and epaulettesepaulette n.(军官的)肩章， 女人衣服上类似肩章的饰物 and curly moustaches and Grecian profiles in other men were never in my way. When people first look at me they shudder. Unless they are in the last stages of angina pectoris they are mine in ten minutes after I begin to talk. Women and men—I win em as they come. Now， you wouldnt think women would fancyfancy adj.奇特的， 异样的 vt.想像， 设想， 认为， 爱好，自负 n.爱好， 迷恋， 想像力 a man with a face like mine， would you？
你也看到，除了新英格兰早期主张信仰疗法的基督徒的相片以外，我可以算是你生平碰见的最丑的人。因此，我很年轻时便知道必须用口才来弥补相貌的不足。我做到了这一点。我要的东西总能到手。作为在老贝纳维德斯背后出主意的人，我把历史上所有伟大的幕后人物，诸如塔利兰、庞巴杜夫人和洛布，都比作成俄国杜马中少数派的提案了。我用三寸不烂之舌可以说得国家负债或者不负债，使军队在战场上沉睡，用寥寥数语来减少暴动、骚乱、税收、拨款或者盈余，用鸟鸣一般的呶哨唤来战争之犬或者和平之鸽。别人身上的俊美、肩章、卷曲的胡须和希腊式的面相同我是无缘的。人家一看到我就要打寒战。可是我一开口说话，不出十分钟，听的人就被我迷住了，除非他们害了晚期心绞痛。不论男女，只要碰到我，无不被我迷住。呃，你不会想到为女人会爱上像我这种面相的人吧？
“Oh， yes， Mr. Tate.” said I， “History is bright and fiction dull with homely men who have charmed women. There seems—”
“哦，不，塔特先生。”我说，“迷住女人的丑男子常常替历史增添光彩，使小说黯然失色。我觉得——”
“Pardon me，” interrupted Judson Tate， “but you dont quite understand. You have yet to hear my story.
“对不起，”贾错森·塔特打断了我的话，“你还不明白我的意思。你先请听我的故事。”
Fergus McMahan was a friend of mine in the capital. For a handsome man Ill admit he was the dutyfree merchandisemerchandise n.商品， 货物. He had blond curls and laughing blue eyes and was featured regular. They said he was a ringer for the statue they call Herr Mees， the god of speech and eloquenceeloquence n.雄辩， 口才， 修辞 resting in some museum at Rome. Some German anarchist， I suppose. They are always resting and talking.
弗格斯·麦克马汉是我在京都的一个朋友。拿俊美来说，我承认他是货真价实的。他五官端正，有着金黄色的卷发和笑吟吟的蓝眼睛。人们说他活像那个叫做赫耳·墨斯的塑像，就是摆在罗马博物馆里的语言与口才之神。我想那大概是一个德国的无政府主义者。那种人老是装腔作势，说个没完。
But Fergus was no talker. He was brought up with the idea that to be beautiful was to make good. His conversation was about as edifying as listening to a leak dropping in a tin dishpan at the head of the bed when you want to go to sleep. But he and me got to be friends—maybe because we was so opposite， dont you think？ Looking at the Halloween mask that I call my face when Im shaving seemed to give Fergus pleasure， and Im sure that whenever I heard the feeble output of throat noises that he called conversation I felt contented to be a gargoylegargoyle ［建］怪兽状滴水嘴，(突出的)怪兽饰 with a silver tongue.
不过弗格斯没有口才。他从小就形成了一个观念，认为只要长得漂亮，一辈子就受用不尽。听他谈话，就好比你想睡觉时听到了水滴落到床头的一个铁皮碟子上的声音一样。他和我却交上了朋友——也许是因为我们如此不同吧，你不觉得吗？我刮胡子时，弗格斯看看我那张像是在万圣节前夜戴的面具的丑脸，似乎就觉得高兴；当我听到他那称之为谈话的微弱的喉音时，我觉得作为一个银嗓子的丑八怪也心满意足了。