SCENE I. Gloucestershire. SHALLOW'S house. Enter SHALLOW, FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, and Page SHALLOW By cock and pie, sir, you shall not away to-night.
What, Davy, I say! FALSTAFF You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow. SHALLOW I will not excuse you; you shall not be excused;excuses shall not be admitted; there is no excuse shall serve; you shall not be excused. Why, Davy!
Enter DAVY DAVY Here, sir. SHALLOW Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy, let me see, Davy;let me see, Davy; let me see: yea, marry, William cook, bid him come hither. Sir John, you shall not be excused. DAVY Marry, sir, thus; those precepts cannot be served:
and, again, sir, shall we sow the headland with wheat? SHALLOW With red wheat, Davy. But for William cook: are there no young pigeons? DAVY Yes, sir. Here is now the smith's note for shoeing and plough-irons. SHALLOW Let it be cast and paid. Sir John, you shall not be excused. DAVY Now, sir, a new link to the bucket must need be had: and, sir, do you mean to stop any of William's wages, about the sack he lost the other day at Hinckley fair? SHALLOW A' shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy, a couple of short-legged hens, a joint of mutton, and any pretty little tiny kickshaws, tell William cook. DAVY Doth the man of war stay all night, sir? SHALLOW Yea, Davy. I will use him well: a friend i' the court is better than a penny in purse. Use his men well, Davy; for they are arrant knaves, and will backbite. DAVY No worse than they are backbitten, sir;for they have marvellous foul linen. SHALLOW Well conceited, Davy: about thy business, Davy. DAVY I beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor of Woncot against Clement Perkes of the hill. SHALLOW There is many complaints, Davy, against that Visor:
that Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge. DAVY I grant your worship that he is a knave, sir; but yet, God forbid, sir, but a knave should have some countenance at his friend's request. An honest man, sir, is able to speak for himself, when a knave is not. I have served your worship truly, sir, this eight years; and if I cannot once or twice in a quarter bear out a knave against an honest man, Ihave but a very little credit with your worship.
The knave is mine honest friend, sir; therefore, Ibeseech your worship, let him be countenanced. SHALLOW Go to; I say he shall have no wrong. Look about, Davy.
Exit DAVY
Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come, off with your boots. Give me your hand, Master Bardolph. BARDOLPH I am glad to see your worship. SHALLOW I thank thee with all my heart, kind Master Bardolph: and welcome, my tall fellow.
To the Page Come, Sir John. FALSTAFF I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow.
Exit SHALLOW
Bardolph, look to our horses.
Exeunt BARDOLPH and Page If I were sawed into quantities, I should make four dozen of such bearded hermits' staves as Master Shallow. It is a wonderful thing to see the semblable coherence of his men's spirits and his:
they, by observing of him, do bear themselves like foolish justices; he, by conversing with them, is turned into a justice-like serving-man: their spirits are so married in conjunction with the participation of society that they flock together in consent, like so many wild-geese. If I had a suit to Master Shallow, I would humour his men with the imputation of being near their master: if to his men, I would curry with Master Shallow that no man could better command his servants. It is certain that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is caught, as men take diseases, one of another:
therefore let men take heed of their company.
Iwill devise matter enough out of this Shallow to keep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing out of six fashions, which is four terms, or two actions, and a' shall laugh without intervallums.
O, it is much that a lie with a slight oath and a jest with a sad brow will do with a fellow that never had the ache in his shoulders! O, you shall see him laugh till his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up! SHALLOW [Within] Sir John! FALSTAFF I come, Master Shallow; I come, Master Shallow.
Exit SCENE II. Westminster. The palace. Enter WARWICK and the Lord Chief-Justice, meeting WARWICK How now, my lord chief-justice! whither away?
Lord Chief-Justice How doth the king? WARWICK Exceeding well; his cares are now all ended.
Lord Chief-Justice I hope, not dead. WARWICK He's walk'd the way of nature;And to our purposes he lives no more.
Lord Chief-Justice I would his majesty had call'd me with him:
The service that I truly did his life Hath left me open to all injuries. WARWICK Indeed I think the young king loves you not.
Lord Chief-Justice I know he doth not, and do arm myself To welcome the condition of the time, Which cannot look more hideously upon me Than I have drawn it in my fantasy.
Enter LANCASTER, CLARENCE, GLOUCESTER, WESTMORELAND, and others WARWICK Here come the heavy issue of dead Harry:
O that the living Harry had the temper Of him, the worst of these three gentlemen!
How many nobles then should hold their places That must strike sail to spirits of vile sort!
Lord Chief-Justice O God, I fear all will be overturn'd! LANCASTER Good morrow, cousin Warwick, good morrow. GLOUCESTER CLARENCE Good morrow, cousin. LANCASTER We meet like men that had forgot to speak. WARWICK We do remember; but our argument Is all too heavy to admit much talk. LANCASTER Well, peace be with him that hath made us heavy.
Lord Chief-Justice Peace be with us, lest we be heavier! GLOUCESTER O, good my lord, you have lost a friend indeed;And I dare swear you borrow not that face Of seeming sorrow, it is sure your own. LANCASTER Though no man be assured what grace to find, You stand in coldest expectation:
I am the sorrier; would 'twere otherwise. CLARENCE Well, you must now speak Sir John Falstaff fair;Which swims against your stream of quality.
Lord Chief-Justice Sweet princes, what I did, I did in honour, Led by the impartial conduct of my soul:
And never shall you see that I will beg A ragged and forestall'd remission.