And, I prithee, sweet wag, when thou art king, as, God save thy grace,--majesty I should say, for grace thou wilt have none,-- PRINCE HENRY What, none? FALSTAFF No, by my troth, not so much as will serve to prologue to an egg and butter. PRINCE HENRY Well, how then? come, roundly, roundly. FALSTAFF Marry, then, sweet wag, when thou art king, let not us that are squires of the night's body be called thieves of the day's beauty: let us be Diana's foresters, gentlemen of the shade, minions of the moon; and let men say we be men of good government, being governed, as the sea is, by our noble and chaste mistress the moon, under whose countenance we steal. PRINCE HENRY Thou sayest well, and it holds well too;for the fortune of us that are the moon's men doth ebb and flow like the sea, being governed, as the sea is, by the moon. As, for proof, now: a purse of gold most resolutely snatched on Monday night and most dissolutely spent on Tuesday morning; got with swearing 'Lay by' and spent with crying 'Bring in;'
now in as low an ebb as the foot of the ladder and by and by in as high a flow as the ridge of the gallows. FALSTAFF By the Lord, thou sayest true, lad. And is not my hostess of the tavern a most sweet wench? PRINCE HENRY As the honey of Hybla, my old lad of the castle. And is not a buff jerkin a most sweet robe of durance? FALSTAFF How now, how now, mad wag! what, in thy quips and thy quiddities? what a plague have I to do with a buff jerkin? PRINCE HENRY Why, what a pox have I to do with my hostess of the tavern? FALSTAFF Well, thou hast called her to a reckoning many a time and oft. PRINCE HENRY Did I ever call for thee to pay thy part? FALSTAFF No; I'll give thee thy due, thou hast paid all there. PRINCE HENRY Yea, and elsewhere, so far as my coin would stretch;and where it would not, I have used my credit. FALSTAFF Yea, and so used it that were it not here apparent that thou art heir apparent--But, I prithee, sweet wag, shall there be gallows standing in England when thou art king? and resolution thus fobbed as it is with the rusty curb of old father antic the law?
Do not thou, when thou art king, hang a thief. PRINCE HENRY No; thou shalt. FALSTAFF Shall I? O rare! By the Lord, I'll be a brave judge. PRINCE HENRY Thou judgest false already: I mean, thou shalt have the hanging of the thieves and so become a rare hangman. FALSTAFF Well, Hal, well; and in some sort it jumps with my humour as well as waiting in the court, I can tell you. PRINCE HENRY For obtaining of suits? FALSTAFF Yea, for obtaining of suits, whereof the hangman hath no lean wardrobe. 'Sblood, I am as melancholy as a gib cat or a lugged bear. PRINCE HENRY Or an old lion, or a lover's lute. FALSTAFF Yea, or the drone of a Lincolnshire bagpipe. PRINCE HENRY What sayest thou to a hare, or the melancholy of Moor-ditch? FALSTAFF Thou hast the most unsavoury similes and art indeed the most comparative, rascalliest, sweet young prince. But, Hal, I prithee, trouble me no more with vanity. I would to God thou and I knew where a commodity of good names were to be bought. An old lord of the council rated me the other day in the street about you, sir, but I marked him not; and yet he talked very wisely, but I regarded him not;and yet he talked wisely, and in the street too. PRINCE HENRY Thou didst well; for wisdom cries out in the streets, and no man regards it. FALSTAFF O, thou hast damnable iteration and art indeed able to corrupt a saint. Thou hast done much harm upon me, Hal; God forgive thee for it! Before I knew thee, Hal, I knew nothing; and now am I, if a man should speak truly, little better than one of the wicked. I must give over this life, and I will give it over: by the Lord, and I do not, I am a villain:
I'll be damned for never a king's son in Christendom. PRINCE HENRY Where shall we take a purse tomorrow, Jack? FALSTAFF 'Zounds, where thou wilt, lad; I'll make one; an Ido not, call me villain and baffle me. PRINCE HENRY I see a good amendment of life in thee;from praying to purse-taking. FALSTAFF Why, Hal, 'tis my vocation, Hal; 'tis no sin for a man to labour in his vocation.
Enter POINS
Poins! Now shall we know if Gadshill have set a match. O, if men were to be saved by merit, what hole in hell were hot enough for him? This is the most omnipotent villain that ever cried 'Stand'
to a true man. PRINCE HENRY Good morrow, Ned. POINS Good morrow, sweet Hal. What says Monsieur Remorse?
what says Sir John Sack and Sugar? Jack! how agrees the devil and thee about thy soul, that thou soldest him on Good-Friday last for a cup of Madeira and a cold capon's leg? PRINCE HENRY Sir John stands to his word, the devil shall have his bargain; for he was never yet a breaker of proverbs: he will give the devil his due. POINS Then art thou damned for keeping thy word with the devil. PRINCE HENRY Else he had been damned for cozening the devil. POINS But, my lads, my lads, to-morrow morning, by four o'clock, early at Gadshill! there are pilgrims going to Canterbury with rich offerings, and traders riding to London with fat purses: I have vizards for you all; you have horses for yourselves:
Gadshill lies to-night in Rochester: I have bespoke supper to-morrow night in Eastcheap: we may do it as secure as sleep. If you will go, I will stuff your purses full of crowns; if you will not, tarry at home and be hanged. FALSTAFF Hear ye, Yedward; if I tarry at home and go not, I'll hang you for going. POINS You will, chops? FALSTAFF Hal, wilt thou make one? PRINCE HENRY Who, I rob? I a thief? not I, by my faith. FALSTAFF There's neither honesty, manhood, nor good fellowship in thee, nor thou camest not of the blood royal, if thou darest not stand for ten shillings. PRINCE HENRY Well then, once in my days I'll be a madcap. FALSTAFF Why, that's well said. PRINCE HENRY Well, come what will, I'll tarry at home. FALSTAFF By the Lord, I'll be a traitor then, when thou art king. PRINCE HENRY I care not. POINS Sir John, I prithee, leave the prince and me alone: