I had thought I had had men of some understanding And wisdom of my council; but I find none.
Was it discretion, lords, to let this man, This good man,--few of you deserve that title,--This honest man, wait like a lousy footboy At chamber--door? and one as great as you are?
Why, what a shame was this! Did my commission Bid ye so far forget yourselves? I gave ye Power as he was a counsellor to try him, Not as a groom: there's some of ye, I see, More out of malice than integrity, Would try him to the utmost, had ye mean;Which ye shall never have while I live. Chancellor Thus far, My most dread sovereign, may it like your grace To let my tongue excuse all. What was purposed Concerning his imprisonment, was rather, If there be faith in men, meant for his trial, And fair purgation to the world, than malice, I'm sure, in me. KING HENRY VIII Well, well, my lords, respect him;Take him, and use him well, he's worthy of it.
I will say thus much for him, if a prince May be beholding to a subject, IAm, for his love and service, so to him.
Make me no more ado, but all embrace him:
Be friends, for shame, my lords! My Lord of Canterbury, I have a suit which you must not deny me;That is, a fair young maid that yet wants baptism, You must be godfather, and answer for her. CRANMER The greatest monarch now alive may glory In such an honour: how may I deserve it That am a poor and humble subject to you? KING HENRY VIII Come, come, my lord, you'ld spare your spoons: you shall have two noble partners with you; the old Duchess of Norfolk, and Lady Marquess Dorset:
will these please you?
Once more, my Lord of Winchester, I charge you, Embrace and love this man. GARDINER With a true heart And brother-love I do it. CRANMER And let heaven Witness, how dear I hold this confirmation. KING HENRY VIII Good man, those joyful tears show thy true heart:
The common voice, I see, is verified Of thee, which says thus, 'Do my Lord of Canterbury A shrewd turn, and he is your friend for ever.'
Come, lords, we trifle time away; I long To have this young one made a Christian.
As I have made ye one, lords, one remain;So I grow stronger, you more honour gain.
Exeunt SCENE IV. The palace yard. Noise and tumult within. Enter Porter and his Man Porter You'll leave your noise anon, ye rascals:
do you take the court for Paris-garden? ye rude slaves, leave your gaping.
Within Good master porter, I belong to the larder. Porter Belong to the gallows, and be hanged, ye rogue! is this a place to roar in? Fetch me a dozen crab-tree staves, and strong ones: these are but switches to 'em. I'll scratch your heads: you must be seeing christenings? do you look for ale and cakes here, you rude rascals? Man Pray, sir, be patient: 'tis as much impossible--Unless we sweep 'em from the door with cannons--To scatter 'em, as 'tis to make 'em sleep On May-day morning; which will never be:
We may as well push against Powle's, as stir em. Porter How got they in, and be hang'd? Man Alas, I know not; how gets the tide in?
As much as one sound cudgel of four foot--You see the poor remainder--could distribute, I made no spare, sir. Porter You did nothing, sir. Man I am not Samson, nor Sir Guy, nor Colbrand, To mow 'em down before me: but if I spared any That had a head to hit, either young or old, He or she, cuckold or cuckold-maker, Let me ne'er hope to see a chine again And that I would not for a cow, God save her!
Within Do you hear, master porter? Porter I shall be with you presently, good master puppy.
Keep the door close, sirrah. Man What would you have me do? Porter What should you do, but knock 'em down by the dozens? Is this Moorfields to muster in? or have we some strange Indian with the great tool come to court, the women so besiege us? Bless me, what a fry of fornication is at door! On my Christian conscience, this one christening will beget a thousand; here will be father, godfather, and all together. Man The spoons will be the bigger, sir. There is a fellow somewhat near the door, he should be a brazier by his face, for, o' my conscience, twenty of the dog-days now reign in's nose; all that stand about him are under the line, they need no other penance: that fire-drake did I hit three times on the head, and three times was his nose discharged against me; he stands there, like a mortar-piece, to blow us. There was a haberdasher's wife of small wit near him, that railed upon me till her pinked porringer fell off her head, for kindling such a combustion in the state. I missed the meteor once, and hit that woman; who cried out 'Clubs!' when Imight see from far some forty truncheoners draw to her succor, which were the hope o' the Strand, where she was quartered. They fell on; I made good my place: at length they came to the broom-staff to me; I defied 'em still: when suddenly a file of boys behind 'em, loose shot, delivered such a shower of pebbles, that I was fain to draw mine honour in, and let 'em win the work: the devil was amongst 'em, I think, surely. Porter These are the youths that thunder at a playhouse, and fight for bitten apples; that no audience, but the tribulation of Tower-hill, or the limbs of Limehouse, their dear brothers, are able to endure.
I have some of 'em in Limbo Patrum, and there they are like to dance these three days; besides the running banquet of two beadles that is to come.
Enter Chamberlain Chamberlain Mercy o' me, what a multitude are here!
They grow still too; from all parts they are coming, As if we kept a fair here! Where are these porters, These lazy knaves? Ye have made a fine hand, fellows: