'But happiness in perfection never lasts long,an'the neighbours begin'd to suspect the nathur an'intentions iv the gandher,an'some iv them said it was the divil,an'
more iv them that it was a fairy.
'Well,Terence could not but hear something of what was sayin',an'you may be sure he was not altogether asy in his mind about it,an'from one day to another he was gettin'more ancomfortable in himself,until he detarmined to sind for Jer Garvan,the fairy docthor in Garryowen,an'it's he was the ilegant hand at the business,an'
divil a sperit id say a crass word to him,no more nor a priest.An'moreover he was very great wid ould Terence Mooney--this man's father that'was.
'So without more about it he was sint for,an'sure enough the divil a long he was about it,for he kem back that very evenin'along wid the boy that was sint for him,an'as soon as he was there,an'
tuck his supper,an'was done talkin'for a while,he begined of coorse to look into the gandher.
'Well,he turned it this away an'that away,to the right an'to the left,an'
straight-ways an'upside-down,an'when he was tired handlin'it,says he to Terence Mooney:
'"Terence,"says he,"you must remove the bird into the next room,"says he,"an'
put a petticoat,"says he,"or anny other convaynience round his head,"says he.
'"An'why so?"says Terence.
'"Becase,"says Jer,says he.
'"Becase what?"says Terence.
'"Becase,"says Jer,"if it isn't done you'll never be asy again,"says he,"or pusilanimous in your mind,"says he;"so ax no more questions,but do my biddin',"says he.
'"Well,"says Terence,"have your own way,"says he.
'An'wid that he tuck the ould gandher,an'giv'it to one iv the gossoons.
'"An'take care,"says he,"don't smother the crathur,"says he.
'Well,as soon as the bird was gone,says Jer Garvan says he:
'"Do you know what that ould gandher IS,Terence Mooney?"'"Divil a taste,"says Terence.
'"Well then,"says Jer,"the gandher is your own father,"says he.
'"It's jokin'you are,"says Terence,turnin'mighty pale;"how can an ould gandher be my father?"says he.
'"I'm not funnin'you at all,"says Jer;
"it's thrue what I tell you,it's your father's wandhrin'sowl,"says he,"that's naturally tuck pissession iv the ould gandher's body,"says he."I know him many ways,and I wondher,"says he,"you do not know the cock iv his eye yourself,"says he.
'"Oh blur an'ages!"says Terence,"what the divil will I ever do at all at all,"says he;"it's all over wid me,for I plucked him twelve times at the laste,"says he.
'"That can't be helped now,"says Jer;
"it was a sevare act surely,"says he,"but it's too late to lamint for it now,"says he;"the only way to prevint what's past,"says he,"is to put a stop to it before it happens,"says he.
'"Thrue for you,"says Terence,"but how the divil did you come to the knowledge iv my father's sowl,"says he,"bein'
in the owld gandher,"says he.
'"If I tould you,"says Jer,"you would not undherstand me,"says he,"without book-larnin'an'gasthronomy,"says he;"so ax me no questions,"says he,"an'
I'll tell you no lies.But blieve me in this much,"says he,"it's your father that's in it,"says he;"an'if I don't make him spake to-morrow mornin',"says he,"I'll give you lave to call me a fool,"says he.
'"Say no more,"says Terence,"that settles the business,"says he;"an'oh!
blur and ages is it not a quare thing,"
says he,"for a dacent respictable man,"
says he,"to be walkin'about the coun-
thry in the shape iv an ould gandher,"
says he;"and oh,murdher,murdher!
is not it often I plucked him,"says he,"an'tundher and ouns might not I have ate him,"says he;and wid that he fell into a could parspiration,savin'your prisince,an was on the pint iv faintin'
wid the bare notions iv it.
'Well,whin he was come to himself agin,says Jerry to him quite an'
asy:
'"Terence,"says he,"don't be aggravatin'yourself,"says he;"for I have a plan composed that 'ill make him spake out,"says he,"an'tell what it is in the world he's wantin',"says he;"an'mind an'don't be comin'in wid your gosther,an'to say agin anything I tell you,"says he,"but jist purtind,as soon as the bird is brought back,"says he,"how that we're goin'to sind him to-morrow mornin'
to market,"says he."An'if he don't spake to-night,"says he,"or gother himself out iv the place,"says he,"put him into the hamper airly,and sind him in the cart,"says he,"straight to Tipperary,to be sould for ating,"says he,"along wid the two gossoons,"says he,"an'my name isn't Jer Garvan,"says he,"if he doesn't spake out before he's half-way,"says he.
"An'mind,"says he,"as soon as iver he says the first word,"says he,"that very minute bring him aff to Father Crotty,"says he;"an'if his raverince doesn't make him ratire,"says he,"like the rest iv his parishioners,glory be to God,"says he,"into the siclusion iv the flames iv purgathory,"says he,"there's no vartue in my charums,"says he.
'Well,wid that the ould gandher was let into the room agin,an'they all bigined to talk iv sindin'him the nixt mornin'
to be sould for roastin'in Tipperary,jist as if it was a thing andoubtingly settled.
But divil a notice the gandher tuck,no more nor if they wor spaking iv the Lord-Liftinant;an'Terence desired the boys to get ready the kish for the poulthry,an'to "settle it out wid hay soft an'shnug,"says he,"for it's the last jauntin'the poor ould gandher 'ill get in this world,"says he.
'Well,as the night was gettin'late,Terence was growin'mighty sorrowful an'down-hearted in himself entirely wid the notions iv what was goin'to happen.