LONDON,March 26,1754
MY DEAR FRIEND:Yesterday I received your letter of the 15th from Manheim,where I find you have been received in the usual gracious manner;which I hope you return in a GRACEFUL one.As this is a season of great devotion and solemnity in all Catholic countries,pray inform yourself of,and constantly attend to,all their silly and pompous church ceremonies;one ought to know them.I am very glad that you wrote the letter to Lord ------,which,in every different case that can possibly be supposed,was,I am sure,both a decent and a prudent step.You will find it very difficult,whenever we meet,to convince me that you could have any good reasons for not doing it;for I will,for argument's sake,suppose,what I cannot in reality believe,that he has both said and done the worst he could,of and by you;What then?How will you help yourself?Are you in a situation to hurt him?Certainly not;but he certainly is in a situation to hurt you.Would you show a sullen,pouting,impotent resentment?I hope not;leave that silly,unavailing sort of resentment to women,and men like them,who are always guided by humor,never by reason and prudence.That pettish,pouting conduct is a great deal too young,and implies too little knowledge of the world,for one who has seen so much of it as you have.Let this be one invariable rule of your conduct,--Never to show the least symptom of resentment which you cannot to a certain degree gratify;but always to smile,where you cannot strike.There would be no living in courts,nor indeed in the world if one could not conceal,and even dissemble,the just causes of resentment,which one meets with every day in active and busy life.
Whoever cannot master his humor enough,'pour faire bonne mine a mauvais jeu',should leave the world,and retire to some hermitage,in an unfrequented desert.By showing an unavailing and sullen resentment,you authorize the resentment of those who can hurt you and whom you cannot hurt;and give them that very pretense,which perhaps they wished for,of breaking with,and injuring you;whereas the contrary behavior would lay them under,the restraints of decency at least;and either shackle or expose their malice.Besides,captiousness,sullenness,and pouting are most exceedingly illiberal and vulgar.'Un honnete homme ne les connoit point'.