BATH,October 3,1753
MY DEAR FRIEND:You have set out well at The Hague;you are in love with Madame Munter,which I am very glad of:you are in the fine company there,and I hope one of it:for it is not enough,at your age,to be merely in good company;but you should,by your address and attentions,make that good company think you one of them.There is a tribute due to beauty,even independently of further views;which tribute I hope you paid with alacrity to Madame Munter and Madame Degenfeldt:depend upon it,they expected it,and were offended in proportion as that tribute seemed either unwillingly or scantily paid.I believe my friend Kreuningen admits nobody now to his table,for fear of their communicating the plague to him,or at least the bite of a mad dog.
Pray profit of the entrees libres that the French Ambassador has given you;frequent him,and SPEAK to him.I think you will not do amiss to call upon Mr.Burrish,at Aix-la-Chapelle,since it is so little out of your way;and you will do still better,if you would,which I know you will not,drink those waters for five or six days only,to scour your stomach and bowels a little;I am sure it would do you a great deal of good Mr.Burrish can,doubtless,give you the best letters to Munich;and he will naturally give you some to Comte Preysing,or Comte Sinsheim,and such sort of grave people;but I could wish that you would ask him for some to young fellows of pleasure,or fashionable coquettes,that,you may be 'dans l'honnete debauche de Munich'.A propos of your future motions;I leave you in a great measure the master of them,so shall only suggest my thoughts to you upon that subject.
You have three electoral courts in view,Bonn,Munich,and Manheim.
I would advise you to see two of them rather cursorily,and fix your tabernacle at the third,whichever that may be,for a considerable time.
For instance,should you choose (as I fancy you will,to make Manheim the place of your residence,stay only ten or twelve days at Bonn,and as long at Munich,and then go and fix at Manheim;and so,vice versa,if you should like Bonn or Munich better than you think you would Manheim,make that the place of your residence,and only visit the other two.
It is certain that no man can be much pleased himself,or please others much,in any place where he is only a bird of passage for eight or ten days;neither party thinking it worth while to make an acquaintance,still less to form any connection,for so short a time;but when months are the case,a man may domesticate himself pretty well,and very soon not be looked upon as a stranger.This is the real utility of traveling,when,by contracting a familiarity at any place,you get into the inside of it,and see it in its undress.That is the only way of knowing the customs,the manners,and all the little characteristical peculiarities that distinguish one place from another;but then this familiarity is not to be brought about by cold,formal visits of half an hour:no;you must show a willingness,a desire,an impatience of forming connections,'il faut s'y preter,et y mettre du liant,du desir de plaire.Whatever you do approve,you must be lavish in your praises of;and you must learn to commend what you do not approve of,if it is approved of there.You are not much given to praise,I know;but it is because you do not yet know how extremely people are engaged by a seeming sanction to their own opinions,prejudices,and weaknesses,even in the merest trifles.Our self-love is mortified when we think our opinions,and even our tastes,customs,and dresses,either arraigned or condemned;as on the contrary,it is tickled and flattered by approbation.I will give you a remarkable instance of this kind.The famous Earl of Shaftesbury,in the flagitious reign of Charles the Second,while he was Chancellor,had a mind to be a favorite,as well as a minister of the King;in order,therefore,to please his Majesty,whose prevailing passion was women,my Lord kept a w----e,whom he had no occasion for,and made no manner of use of.The King soon heard of it,and asked him if it was true;he owned it was;but that,though he kept that one woman,he had several others besides,for he loved variety.A few days afterward,the King,at his public levee,saw Lord Shaftesbury at some distance,and said in the circle,"One would not think that that little,weak man is the greatest whore-master in England;but I can assure you that he is."Upon Lord Shaftesbury's coming into the circle,there was a general smile;the King said,"This is concerning you,my Lord.""Me,sir?"answered the Chancellor,with some surprise."Yes,you,"answered the King;"for Ihad just said that you were the greatest whore-master in England!Is it not true?"Of a SUBJECT,Sir,"replied Lord Shaftesbury,"perhaps I am."It is the same in everything;we think a difference of opinion,of conduct,of manners,a tacit reproach,at least,upon our own;we must therefore use ourselves to a ready conformity to whatever is neither criminal nor dishonorable.Whoever differs from any general custom,is supposed both to think,and proclaim himself wiser than the rest of the world:which the rest of the world cannot bear,especially in a young man.A young fellow is always forgiven and often applauded,when he carries a fashion to an excess;but never if he stops short of it.The first is ascribed to youth and fire;but the latter is imputed to an affectation of singularity or superiority.At your age,one is allowed to 'outrer'fashion,dress,vivacity,gallantry,etc.,but by no means to be behindhand in any one of them.And one may apply to youth in this case,'Si non errasset,fecerat ille minus'.Adieu.