LONDON,April 30,O.S.1752.
MY DEAR FRIEND:'Avoir du monde'is,in my opinion,a very just and happy expression for having address,manners,and for knowing how to behave properly in all companies;and it implies very truly that a man who hath not those accomplishments is not of the world.Without them,the best parts are inefficient,civility is absurd,and ******* offensive.Alearned parson,rusting in his cell,at Oxford or Cambridge,will season admirably well upon the nature of man;will profoundly analyze the head,the heart,the reason,the will,the passions,the senses,the sentiments,and all those subdivisions of we know not what;and yet,unfortunately,he knows nothing of man,for he hath not lived with him;and is ignorant of all the various modes,habits,prejudices,and tastes,that always influence and often determine him.He views man as he does colors in Sir Isaac Newton's prism,where only the capital ones are seen;but an experienced dyer knows all their various shades and gradations,together with the result of their several mixtures.Few men are of one plain,decided color;most are mixed,shaded,and blended;and vary as much,from different situations,as changeable silks do form different lights.The man 'qui a du monde'knows all this from his own experience and observation:the conceited,cloistered philosopher knows nothing of it from his own theory;his practice is absurd and improper,and he acts as awkwardly as a man would dance,who had never seen others dance,nor learned of a dancing-master;but who had only studied the notes by which dances are now pricked down as well as tunes.Observe and imitate,then,the address,the arts,and the manners of those 'qui ont du monde':see by what methods they first make,and afterward improve impressions in their favor.Those impressions are much oftener owing to little causes than to intrinsic merit;which is less volatile,and hath not so sudden an effect.Strong minds have undoubtedly an ascendant over weak ones,as Galigai Marachale d'Ancre very justly observed,when,to the disgrace and reproach of those times,she was executed for having governed Mary of Medicis by the arts of witchcraft and magic.But then ascendant is to be gained by degrees,and by those arts only which experience and the knowledge of the world teaches;for few are mean enough to be bullied,though most are weak enough to be bubbled.I have often seen people of superior,governed by people of much inferior parts,without knowing or even suspecting that they were so governed.This can only happen when those people of inferior parts have more worldly dexterity and experience,than those they govern.They see the weak and unguarded part,and apply to it they take it,and all the rest follows.Would you gain either men or women,and every man of sense desires to gain both,'il faut du monde'.You have had more opportunities than ever any man had,at your age,of acquiring 'ce monde'.You have been in the best companies of most countries,at an age when others have hardly been in any company at all.You are master of all those languages,which John Trott seldom speaks at all,and never well;consequently you need be a stranger nowhere.This is the way,and the only way,of having 'du monde',but if you have it not,and have still any coarse rusticity about you,may not one apply to you the 'rusticus expectat'of Horace?