LONDON,May 6,O.S.1751.
MY DEAR FRIEND:The best authors are always the severest critics of their own works;they revise,correct,file,and polish them,till they think they have brought them to perfection.Considering you as my work,I do not look upon myself as a bad author,and am therefore a severe critic.I examine narrowly into the least inaccuracy or inelegance,in order to correct,not to expose them,and that the work may be perfect at last.You are,I know,exceedingly improved in your air,address,and manners,since you have been at Paris;but still there is,I believe,room for further improvement before you come to that perfection which Ihave set my heart upon seeing you arrive at;and till that moment I must continue filing and polishing.In a letter that I received by last post,from a friend of yours at Paris,there was this paragraph:"I have the honor to assure you,without flattery,that Mr.Stanhope succeeds beyond what might be expected from a person of his age.He goes into very good company;and that kind of manner,which was at first thought to be too decisive and peremptory,is now judged otherwise;because it is acknowledged to be the effect of an ingenuous frankness,accompanied by politeness,and by a proper deference.He studies to please,and succeeds.Madame du Puisieux was the other day speaking of him with complacency and friendship.You will be satisfied with him in all respects."This is extremely well,and I rejoice at it:one little circumstance only may,and I hope will,be altered for the better.Take pains to undeceive those who thought that 'petit ton un peu delcide et un peu brusque';as it is not meant so,let it not appear so.Compose your countenance to an air of gentleness and 'douceur',use some expressions of diffidence of your own opinion,and deference to other people's;such as,"If I might be permitted to say--I should think--Is it not rather so?
At least I have the greatest reason to be diffident of myself."Such mitigating,engaging words do by no means weaken your argument;but,on the contrary,make it more powerful by ****** it more pleasing.If it is a quick and hasty manner of speaking that people mistake 'pour decide et brusque',prevent their mistakes for the future by speaking more deliberately,and taking a softer tone of voice;as in this case you are free from the guilt,be free from the suspicion,too.Mankind,as I have often told you,are more governed by appearances than by realities;and with regard to opinion,one had better be really rough and hard,with the appearance of gentleness and softness,than just the reverse.Few people have penetration enough to discover,attention enough to observe,or even concern enough to examine beyond the exterior;they take their notions from the surface,and go no deeper:they commend,as the gentlest and best-natured man in the world,that man who has the most engaging exterior manner,though possibly they have been but once in his company.