在处处受到制约的现实生活中,他们仍然像往日那样——艰难度日、克勤克俭、小心翼翼、脚踏实地。他们一直对长老会的小教堂忠心耿耿,发自内心地为教会做事,全心全意地恪守神圣而严格的教规。可是在他们的虚幻生活中,他们却追随着幻想的诱惑,却不计较这幻想的性质和变化。艾莱柯的幻想还不算特别反复无常,而萨利的幻想却已经乱了套。艾莱柯在她的虚幻生活中,先是信主教派,因为这个教派的头面人物都有来头;然后改信高教派,这是因为那里的蜡烛点得多,场面比较讲究;自然,后来她又皈依罗马天主教会,因为他们有红衣主教,蜡烛点得更多。可是艾莱柯的这些花样在萨利看来没有一点意思。他的幻想生活是一幅热情奔放、永无止境的激动人心场面,这个千变万化的过程,保证了每一个场景都新鲜活泼、光彩照人,连宗教活动也是如此。他勤奋地参与宗教活动,像换衬衫似的变换花样。
The liberal spendings of the Fosters upon their fancies began early in their prosperitiesprosperity n.繁荣, and grew in prodigality step by step with their advancing fortunes. In time they became truly enormous. Aleck built a university or two per Sunday, also a hospital or two, also a Rowton hotel or so; also a batch of churches, now and then a cathedralcathedral n.大教堂, and once, with untimely and illchosen playfulness, Sally said, “It was a cold day when she didnt ship a cargo of missionaries to persuade unreflecting Chinamen to trade off twentyfour carat Confucianism for counterfeit Christianity.”
从福斯特夫妇交了财运的最初阶段起,他们就出手大方,随着财富逐渐增加,他们也更加慷慨。不久,他们简直是挥金如土了。艾莱柯每个周日都要建一到两所大学;另加一到两所医院;还有罗顿的一家医院和一批小教堂。时不时地建一座大教堂。有一次,萨利不合时宜、不加考虑地开了一句玩笑,他说:“要不是天冷,她已经送走一船传教士,去点化冥顽不灵的中国人拿24K金的孔教换假冒的基督教了。”
This rude and unfeeling language hurt Aleck to the heart, and she went from the presence crying. That spectaclespectacle n.观览物, 展览物, 公开展示, 奇观, 景象,光景, (a pair of ~s)眼镜 went to his own heart, and in his pain and shame he would have given worlds to have those unkind words back. She had uttered no syllable of reproach—and that cut him. Not one suggestion that he look at his own record—and she could have made, oh, so many, and such blistering ones! Her generous silence brought a swift revenge, for it turned his thoughts upon himself, it summoned before him a spectralspectral adj.光谱的, 鬼怪的 procession, a moving vision of his life as he had been leading it these past few years of limitless prosperity, and as he sat there reviewing it his cheeks burned and his soul was steeped in humiliationhumiliation n.羞辱, 蒙耻。 Look at her life—how fair it was, and tending ever upward, and look at his own—how frivolous, how charged with mean vanities, how selfish, how empty, how ignobleignoble adj.不光彩的! And its trend—never upward, but downward, ever downward!
这句没良心的粗话伤透了艾莱柯的心,她哭着跑到一边去了。此情此景让萨利于心不忍,他非常痛苦,臊得直想把泼出去的水收回来。她一句责备的话都没说——这更让他心如刀绞。居然没人让他自我反省——她本来可以劈头盖脑羞辱萨利一顿!她那宽宏大量的沉默当即报复了萨利,让他反躬自问,唤醒了他自己一连串丑恶的回忆。过去几年不尽财源滚滚来的生活他是如何度过的,这些场景一一展现在他的眼前。他坐在那里一边反省,一边脸上发烧,羞愧难当。看看妻子的生活——多么美好,蓬勃向上;再看看他自己的生活——何等轻浮,充斥着庸俗的虚荣,何等自私,何等空虚,何等卑琐啊!再看看生活的取向——从来没有上进心,只有堕落,不断的堕落!
He instituted comparisonscomparison n.比较, 对照, 比喻, 比较关系 between her record and his own. He had found fault with her—so he mused—HE! And what could he say for himself? When she built her first church what was he doing? Gathering other blase multimillionairesmultimillionaire n.拥有数百万家财的富豪, 千万富翁 into a Poker Club; defiling his own palace with it, losing hundreds of thousands to it at every sitting, and sillily vain of the admiring notorietynotoriety n.恶名, 丑名, 声名狼藉, 远扬的名声 it made for him. When she was building her first university, what was he doing? Polluting himself with a gay and dissipateddissipated adj.沉迷于酒色的, 消散的, 闲游浪荡的 secret life in the company of other fast bloods, multimillionaires in money and paupers in character. When she was building her first foundling asylumasylum n.庇护, 收容所, 救济院, 精神病院, what was he doing? Alas! When she was projecting her noble Society for the Purifying of the Sex, what was he doing? Ah, what, indeed! When she and the W. C. T. U. and the Woman with the Hatchet, moving with resistless march, were sweeping the fatal bottle from the land, what was he doing? Getting drunk three times a day. When she, builder of a hundred cathedrals, was being gratefully welcomed and blest in papalpapal adj.罗马教皇的, 教皇制度的 Rome and decorated with the Golden Rose which she had so honorably earned, what was he doing? Breaking the bank at Monte Carlo.
他把妻子的生活历程和自己的生活历程做了一番比较,找出了自己和妻子的差距——于是他沉思起来——他呀!他还有什么可辩解的?她建造第一座教堂的时候,他干吗去了?纠集了一帮玩腻了的百万富翁凑了一个牌局;在自己的宅子里头瞎折腾;一局输个千儿八百的不算,还傻呵呵地为争一个冤大头的美名沾沾自喜呢。她造第一所大学的时候,他干吗去了?他正和一个“相公”鬼混,作践自己呢;他还跟那些放浪形骸、除了钱以外一无所有的百万富翁为伍,干那些声色犬马的苟且勾当。她造第一间育婴堂的时候,他干吗去了?唉!她筹备那个高尚的女性纯洁会的时候,他干吗去了?啊,真是的!她和基督教妇女戒酒会、女性缉酒队的同仁们并肩战斗,扫荡那些害人的瓶瓶罐罐的时候,他干吗去了?他正一日三醉呢。当她捐造了一百座大教堂后,在教皇统治下的罗马受到热烈欢迎,教皇向她颁授她当之无愧的金玫瑰勋章的时候,他又干吗去了?在蒙特卡罗抢银行呢!
He stopped. He could go no farther, he could not bear the rest. He rose up, with a great resolutionresolution n.坚定, 决心, 决定, 决议 upon his lips: this secret life should be revealing, and confessed, no longer would he live it clandestinely, he would go and tell her All.
他停了下来。他实在想不下去了。其他的丑行劣迹更是让人不寒而栗。他站起身来,鼓足勇气想说实话:要让这段见不得人的生活曝光,坦白承认;他再也不能过这种人不人、鬼不鬼的日子了;他要去对她讲清楚。
And that is what he did. He told her All, and wept upon her bosombosom n.胸部, 胸, 胸怀, 内心, 内部, 中间, 任何温暖、舒适而熟悉的地方 vt.怀抱, 隐匿, wept, and moaned, and begged for her forgiveness. It was a profoundprofound adj.深刻的, 意义深远的, 渊博的, 造诣深的 shock, and she staggered under the blow, but he was her own, the core of her heart, the blessing of her eyes, her all in all, she could deny him nothing, and she forgave him. She felt that he could never again be quite to her what he had been before, She knew that he could only repent, and not reform, yet all morally defaced and decayed as he was, was he not her own, her very own, the idol of her deathless worshipworship n.崇拜, 礼拜, 尊敬 vi.敬神, 拜神 vt.崇拜, 尊敬? She said she was his serf, his slave, and she opened her yearning heart and took him in.
他说到做到。他对她讲清楚了一切;在她的怀里哭了起来;一哭三叹,乞求她的宽恕。艾莱柯极为震惊,在这场打击下几乎精神崩溃,不过他毕竟是她的亲人,她的主心骨,她心目中的守护神,是她一切的一切。无论什么样的要求,她都不能拒绝,于是他得到了她的宽恕。她觉得从今以后他再也不是从前的他了。她明白,他只能知错,但不会必改;然而,就算他如此道德败坏、腐朽堕落,难道他就不是她的亲人、她的心上人、她生死不渝崇拜的偶像了吗?她说,她嫁鸡随鸡,嫁狗随狗,然后她就敞开自己那扇思念的心扉,放他进去了。