I reached out to make friends. I joined an organisationa smallone at first—and was petrified with fright when they put me ona programme. But each time I spoke， I gained a little courage. Ittook a long while—but today I have more happiness than I everdreamed possible. In rearing my own children， I have alwaystaught them the lesson I had to learn from such bitter experience：No matter what happens， always be yourself！”
This problem of being willing to be yourself is “as old as history，”
says Dr. James Gordon Gilkey， “and as universal as human life.”
This problem of being unwilling to be yourself is the hidden springbehind many neuroses and psychoses and complexes. Angelo Patrihas written thirteen books and thousands of syndicated newspaperarticles on the subject of child training， and he says： “Nobody is somiserable as he who longs to be somebody and something otherthan the person he is in body and mind.”
This craving to be something you are not is especially rampantin Hollywood. Sam Wood， one of Hollywood’s best-known directors，says the greatest headache he has with aspiring young actors is exactly this problem： to make them be themselves. They all wantto be second-rate Lana Turners， or third-rate Clark Gables. “Thepublic has already had that flavour，” Sam Wood keeps tellingthem; “now it wants something else.”
Before he started directing such pictures as Good-bye， Mr.
Chips and For Whom the Bell Tolls， Sam Wood spent years in thereal-estate business， developing sales personalities. He declaresthat the same principles apply in the business world as in theworld of moving pictures. You won’t get anywhere playing theape. You can’t be a parrot. “Experience has taught me，” says SamWood， “that it is safest to drop， as quickly as possible， people whopretend to be what they aren’t.”
I recently asked Paul Boynton， employment director an oilcompany， what is the biggest mistake people make in applyingfor jobs. He ought to know： he has interviewed more than sixtythousand job seekers; and he has written a book entitled 6 Waysto Get a Job. He replied： “The biggest mistake people make inapplying for jobs is in not being themselves. Instead of taking theirhair down and being completely frank， they often try to give youthe answers they think you want.” But it doesn’t work， becausenobody wants a phony. Nobody ever wants a counterfeit coin.
A certain daughter of a street-car conductor had to learn thatlesson the hard way. She longed to be a singer. But her face washer misfortune. She had a large mouth and protruding buckteeth. When she first sang in public—in a New Jersey night-club—
she tried to pull down her upper Up to cover her teeth. She triedto act “glamorous”。 The result? She made herself ridiculous. Shewas headed for failure.
However， there was a man in this night-club who heard thegirl sing and thought she had talent. “See here，” he said bluntly，“I’ve been watching your performance and I know what it is you’re trying to hide. You’re ashamed of your teeth.” The girl wasembarrassed， but the man continued： “What of it? Is there anyparticular crime in having buck teeth? Don’t try to hide them！
Open your mouth， and the audience will love you when they seeyou’re not ashamed. Besides，” he said shrewdly， “those teethyou’re trying to hide may make your fortune！”
Cass Daley took his advice and forgot about her teeth. Fromthat time on， she thought only about her audience. She openedher mouth wide and sang with such gusto and enjoyment that shebecame a top star in movies and radio. Other comedians are nowtrying to copy her！
The renowned William James was speaking of men whohad never found themselves when he declared that the averageman develops only ten per cent of his latent mental abilities.
“compared to what we ought to be，” he wrote， “we are only halfawake. We are making use of only a small part of our physicaland mental resources. Stating the thing broadly， the humanindividual thus lives far within his limits. He possesses powers ofvarious sorts which he habitually fails to use.”
You and I have such abilities， so let’s not waste a secondworrying because we are not like other people. You are somethingnew in this world. Never before， since the beginning of time，has there ever been anybody exactly like you; and never againthroughout all the ages to come will there ever be anybody exactlylike you again. The new science of genetics informs us that youare what you are largely as a result of twenty-four chromosomescontributed by your father and twenty-four chromosomescontributed by your mother. These forty-eight chromosomescomprise everything that determines what you inherit. In eachchromosome there may be， says Amran Sheinfeld， “anywherefrom scores to hundreds of genes—with a single gene， in some cases， able to change the whole life of an individual.” Truly， weare “fearfully and wonderfully” made.
Even after your mother and father met and mated， therewas only one chance in 300，000 billion that the person who isspecifically you would be born！ In other words， if you had 300，000 billion brothers and sisters， they might have all been different fromyou. Is all this guesswork? No. It is a scientific fact. If you wouldlike to read more about it， go to your public library and borrow abook entitled You and Heredity， by Amran Scheinfeld.