书城外语人性的弱点全集(英文朗读版)
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第42章 PART 3How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking(20

Be a Leader:How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment“We decided to try praise instead of harping on their faults.It wasn’t easy when all we could see were the negative things they were doing;it was really tough to find things to praise.We managed to find something,and within the first day or two some of the really upsetting things they were doing quit happening.Then some of their other faults began to disappear.They began capitalizing on the praise we were giving them.They even began going out of their way to do things right.Neither of us could believe it.Of course,it didn’t last forever,but the norm reached after things leveled off was so much better.It was no longer necessary to react the way we used to.The children were doing far more right things than wrong ones.”All of this was a result of praising the slightest improvement in the children rather than condemning everything they did wrong.

This works on the job too.Keith Roper of Woodland Hills,California,applied this principle to a situation in his company.Some material came to him in his print shop which was of exceptionally high quality.The printer who had done this job was a new employee who had been having difficulty adjusting to the job.His supervisor was upset about what he considered a negative attitude and was seriously thinking of terminating his services.

When Mr.Roper was informed of this situation,he personally went over to the print shop and had a talk with the young man.He told him how pleased he was with the work he had just received and pointed out it was the best work he had seen produced in that shop for some time.He pointed out exactly why it was superior and how important the young man’s contribution was to the company.

Do you think this affected that young printer’s attitude toward the company?Within days there was a complete turnabout.Hetold several of his co-workers about the conversation and how someone in the company really appreciated good work.And from that day on,he was a loyal and dedicated worker.

Talk about changing people.If you and I will inspire the people with whom we come in contact to a realization of the hidden treasures they possess,we can do far more than change people.We can literally transform them.

Exaggeration?Then listen to these sage words from William James,one of the most distinguished psychologists and philosophers America has ever produced:

Compared with what we ought to be,we are only half awake.We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources.Stating the thing broadly,the human individual thus lives far within his limits.He possesses powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use.

Yes,you who are reading these lines possess powers of various sorts which you habitually fail to use;and one of these powers you are probably not using to the fullest extent is your magic ability to praise people and inspire them with a realization of their latent possibilities.

Abilities wither under criticism;they blossom under encouragement.To become a more effective leader of people,apply ...

PRINCIPLE 6:

Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.

Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”

Chapter 28

Give a Dog a Good Name

In short,if you want to improve a person in a certain spect,act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics.Shakespeare said “Assume a virtue,if you have it not.”And it might be well to assume and state openly that other people have the virtue you want them to develop.Give them a fine reputation to live up to,and they will make prodigious efforts rather than see you disillusioned.

Georgette Leblanc,in her book Souvenirs,My Life with Maeterlinck,describes the startling transformation of a humble Belgian Cinderella.

“A servant girl from a neighboring hotel brought my meals,”she wrote.“She was called ‘marie the Dish washer’because she had started her career as a scullery assistant.She was a kind of monster,cross-eyed,bandylegged,poor in flesh and spirit.

“One day,while she was holding my plate of macaroniin her red hand,I said to her point-blank,‘Marie,you do not know what treasures are within you.’

“Accustomed to holding back her emotion,Marie waited a few moments,not daring to risk the slightest gesture for fear of a castastrophe.Then she put the dish on the table,sighed and said ingenuously,‘madame,I would never have believed it.’She did not doubt,she did not ask a question.She simply went back to the kitchen and repeated what I had said,and such is the force of faith that no one made fun of her.From that day on,she was even given a certain consideration.But the most curious changeof all occurred in the humble Marie herself.Believing she was the tabernacle of unseen marvels,she began taking care of her face and body so carefully that her starved youth seemed to bloom and modestly hide her plainness.

“Two months later,she announced her coming marriage with the nephew of the chef.‘I’m going to be a lady,’she said,and thanked me.A small phrase had changed her entire life.”