走进这样一个房间真使人身心愉悦。好几个星期以来,我日日夜夜和矿工们的小木屋打交道,熟悉了屋里的一切——肮脏的地板,从来不叠被子的床铺,锡盘锡杯,咸猪肉,蚕豆和浓咖啡,屋内别无装饰,只有一些从东部带插图的出版物中取下来的描绘战争的图片钉在木头墙上。那是一种艰苦的,凄凉的生活,没有欢乐,人人都为自己的利益打算。而这里,却是一个温暖舒适的栖息之地,它能让人疲倦的双眼得到休息,能使人的某种天性得以更新。在长时间的禁食之后,当艺术品呈现在面前,这种天性认识到它一直处于无意识的饥饿之中,而现在找到了营养滋补品,而不论这些艺术品可能是怎样低劣,怎样朴素。我不能相信一块残缺的地毯会使我的感官得到如此愉快的享受,如此心满意足;或者说,我没有想到,房间里的一切会给我的灵魂以这样的慰藉:那糊墙纸,那些带框的版画,铺在沙发的扶手和靠背上的色彩鲜艳的小垫布和台灯座下的衬垫,几把温莎时代的细骨靠椅,还有陈列着海贝、书籍和瓷花瓶的锃光透亮的古董架,以及那种随意搁置物品的细巧方法和风格,它们是女人的手在干活的痕迹,你见了不会经意,而一旦拿走,你立刻又会怀念不已。我内心的快乐从我的脸上表现出来,那男人见了很是欢喜,因为这快乐是这样显而易见,以致他就像我们已经谈到过这个话题似的答道:
“All her work,” he said, caressingly, “she did it all herself—every bit.” and he took the room in with a glanceglance vi.扫视, 匆匆一看 n.一瞥, 眼光, 匆匆一看 which was full of affectionate worship. One of those soft Japanese fabrics with which women drape with careful negligence the upper part of a pictureframe was out of adjustment. He noticed it, and rearranged it with cautious pains, stepping back several times to gaugegauge n.标准尺, 规格, 量规, 量表 v.测量 the effect before he got it to suit him. Then he gave it a light finishing pat or two with his hand, and said, “She always does that. You cant tell just what it lacks, but it does lack something until youve done that—you can see it yourself after its done, but that is all you know, you cant find out the law of it. Its like the finishing pats a mother gives the childs hair after shes got it combed and brushed, I reckon. Ive seen her fix all these things so much that I can do them all just her way, though I dont know the law of any of them. But she knows the law. She knows the why and the how both, but I dont know the why, I only know the how.”
“都是她弄的,”他爱抚地说,“都是她亲手弄的——全都是。”他向屋子瞥了一眼,眼里充满了深情的崇拜。画框上方,悬挂着一种柔软的日本织物,女人们看似随意,实为精心地用它来装饰。那男人注意到它不太整齐,他小心翼翼地把它重新整理好,然后退后几步观察整理的效果,这样反复了好几次,直到他完全满意。他用手掌把它轻轻地拍打了最后两下,说:“她总是这样弄的。你说不出它正好差点儿什么,可是它的确是差点儿什么,直到你把它弄好——弄好以后也只有你自己知道,但是也仅此而已,你找不出它的规律。我估摸着,这就好比母亲给孩子梳完头以后再最后地拍两下一样。我经常看她侍弄这些玩意儿,所以我也能完全照着她的样子做了,尽管我不知其中的规律。可是她知道。她知道侍弄它们的理由和方法,我却不知道理由,我只知道方法。”
He took me into a bedroom so that I might wash my hands, such a bedroom as I had not seen for years: white counterpanecounterpane n.床单, 床罩, white pillowspillow n.枕头, 枕垫, carpeted floor, papered walls, pictures, dressingtable, with mirror and pincushion and dainty toilet things. And in the corner a washstand, with real chinaware bowl and pitcher, and with soap in a china dish, and on a rack more than a dozen towels—towels too clean and white for one out of practice to use without some vague sense of profanation. So my face spoke again, and he answered with gratified words, “All her work, she did it all herself—every bit. Nothing here that hasnt felt the touch of her hand. Now you would think—But I mustnt talk so much.”
他把我带进一间卧室让我洗手,这样的卧室我是多年不见了:白色的床罩,白色的枕头,铺了地毯的地板,裱了糊墙纸的墙壁,墙上有好些画,还有一个梳妆台,上面放着镜子,针插和轻巧精致的梳妆用品,墙角放着一个脸盆架,一个真瓷的钵子和一个带嘴的有柄大水罐,一个瓷盘里放着肥皂,在一个搁物架上放了不止一打的毛巾——对于一个很久不用这种毛巾的人来说,它们真是太干净太洁白了,没有点朦胧的亵渎神灵的意识还不敢用呢。我又一次说出了心里话,于是他心满意足地答道:“都是她弄的,都是她亲手弄的——全都是。这儿没一样东西不是她亲手摸过的。好啦,你会想到的——我不必说那么多啦。”
By this time I was wiping my hands and glancing from detail to detail of the rooms belongings, as one is apt to do when he is in a new place, where everything he sees is a comfort to his eye and his spirit. And I became conscious, in one of those unaccountableunaccountable adj.无法解释的, 无责任的 ways, you know, that there was something there somewhere that the man wanted me to discover for myself. I knew it perfectly, and I knew he was trying to help me by furtivefurtive adj.偷偷摸摸的, 鬼鬼祟祟的, 秘密的, 私下的, 隐秘的 indications with his eye, so I tried hard to get on the right track, being eager to gratify him. I failed several times, as I could see out of the corner of my eye without being told. But at last I knew I must be looking straight at the thing—knew it from the pleasure issuing in invisible waves from him. He broke into a happy laugh, and rubbed his hands together, and cried out, “Thats it! Youve found it. I knew you would. Its her picture.”
这当儿,我一面擦着手,一面仔细地扫视屋里的物品,就像到了新地方的人都爱做的那样,这儿的一切都使他赏心悦目。接着,你知道,我以一种无法解释的方式意识到那男人想要我自己在这屋里的某个地方发现某种东西。我的感觉完全准确,我看出他正试着用眼角偷偷地暗示来帮我的忙,我也急于想使他满意,于是就很卖劲地按恰当的途径寻找起来。我失败了好几次,因为我是从眼角往外看,而他并没有什么反应。但是我终于明白了我应该直视前方的那个东西——因为他的喜悦像一股无形的浪潮向我袭来。他爆发出一阵幸福的笑声,搓着两手,叫道:“就是它!你找到了。我就知道你会找到的。那是她的相片。”
I went to the little blackwalnut bracket on the farther wall, and did find there what I had not yet noticed a daguerreotypecase. It contained the sweetest girlishgirlish adj.少女的, 少女似的(男孩), 适于女子的 face, and the most beautiful, as it seemed to me, that I had ever seen. The man drank the admiration from my face, and was fully satisfied.
前面墙上有一个黑色胡桃木的小托架,我走到跟前,确实在那儿发现了我先前还不曾注意到的一个相框,相片是早期的照相术照的。那是一个极温柔、极可爱的少女的脸庞,在我看来,似乎是我所见过的最为美丽的女人。那男人领略了我流露在脸上的赞叹,满意极了。
“Nineteen her last birthday,” he said, as he put the picture back, “and that was the day we were married. When you see her—ah, just wait till you see her! ”
“她过了十九岁的生日,”他说着把相片放回原处,“我们就是在她生日那天结的婚。你见到她的时候——哦,只有等一等你才能见到她!”
“Where is she? When will she be in? ”
“她在什么地方?什么时候在家?”
“Oh, shes away now. Shes gone to see her people. They live forty or fifty miles from here. Shes been gone two weeks today.”
“哦,她现在不在家。她探望亲人去了。他们住在离这儿四五十英里远的地方。到今天,她已经走了两个星期了。”
“When do you expect her back? ”
“你估计她什么时候回来?”
“This is Wednesday. Shell be back Saturday, in the evening—about nine oclock, likely.”
“今天是星期三。她星期六晚上回来,可能在九点钟左右。”
I felt a sharp sense of disappointment.
我感到一阵强烈的失望。
“Im sorry, because Ill be gone then.” I said, regretfully.
“我很遗憾,因为那时候我已经走了。”我惋惜地说。
“Gone? No—why should you go? Dont go. Shell be disappointed.”
“已经走了?不,你为什么要走呢?请别走吧,她会非常失望的。”
She would be disappointed—that beautiful creature! If she had said the words herself they could hardly have blessed me more. I was feeling a deep, strong longing to see her—a longing so supplicating, so insistent, that it made me afraid. I said to myself, “I will go straight away from this place, for my peace of minds sake.”
她会失望——那美丽的尤物!倘若是她亲口对我说的这番话,那我就是最最幸福的人了。我感觉到一种深沉的强烈的渴望想见到她,这渴望带着那样的祈求,是那样的执著,使得我害怕起来。我对自己说:“我要马上离开这里,为了我的灵魂得到安宁。