田纳西的新闻界
The editor of the Memphis Avalanche swoopsswoop n.突然下降， 猛扑vt攫取 vi.飞扑， 突然袭击 thus mildly down upon a correspondent who posted him as a Radical，—“While he was writing the first word， the middle， dotting his is， crossing his ts， and punching his period， he knew he was concocting a sentence that was saturatedsaturate v.使饱和， 浸透， 使充满 with infamy and reeking with falsehood.”—Exchange.
孟斐斯“雪崩报”的总编辑对一位把他称为过激派的记者给予这样温和的抨击：“当他还在写头一句话的时候，写到中间，加着标点符号，他就知道他是在捏造一个充满着无耻的作风、冒出造谣的臭气的句子。”——“交易报”。
I was told by the physician that a Southern climate would improve my health， and so I went down to Tennessee， and got a berth on the Morning Glory and Johnson County WarWhoop as associate editorassociate editor 副编辑. When I went on duty I found the chief editor sitting tilted back in a threelegged chair with his feet on a pine table. There was another pine table in the room and another afflicted chair， and both were half buried under newspapers and scraps and sheets of manuscriptmanuscript n.手稿， 原稿. There was a wooden box of sand， sprinkled with cigar stubs and “old soldiers”， and a stove with a door hanging by its upper hinge. The chief editor had a longtailed black cloth frockcoat on， and white linen pants. His boots were small and neatly blacked. He wore a ruffled shirt， a large sealring， a standing collar of obsoleteobsolete adj.荒废的， 陈旧的 n.废词， 陈腐的人 pattern， and a checkered neckerchief with the ends hanging down. Date of costume about 1848. He was smoking a cigar， and trying to think of a word， and in pawing his hair he had rumpledrumple v.弄皱， 弄得乱七八糟 n.皱纹， 皱褶 his locks a good deal. He was scowling fearfully， and I judged that he was concocting a particularly knotty editorial. He told me to take the exchanges and skim through them and write up the “Spirit of the Tennessee Press”， condensing into the article all of their contents that seemed of interest.
医生告诉我说，南方的气候可以增进我的健康，因此我就到田纳西去，担任了“朝华与约翰生县呼声报”的副编辑职务。我去上班的时候，发现主笔先生斜靠着椅背坐在一把三条腿的椅子上，一双脚放在一张松木桌子上。房间里另外还有一张松木桌子和一把残废的椅子，两者都几乎铺满了报纸和剪报，还有一份一份的原稿。有一只盛着沙子的木箱，里面丢了许多雪茄烟头和“香烟屁股”，还有一只火炉，火炉上有一扇上下开关的搭下来的门。主笔先生穿着一件后面很长的黑布上装和白麻布裤子。他的靴子很小，用黑靴油擦得很亮。他穿着一件有皱褶的衬衫，戴着一只很大的图章戒指，一条旧式的硬领，一条两端下垂的方格子围巾。服装的年代大约是1848年。他正在吸着一支雪茄烟，用心推敲着一个字，他的头发已经被他抓得乱蓬蓬的了。他皱眉瞪眼，样子很可怕，我估计他是在拼凑一篇特别伤脑筋的社论。他叫我把那些交换的报纸大约看一下，写一篇“田纳西各报要闻摘录”，把那些报纸里面所有的有趣的材料通通简缩在这篇文章里。
I wrote as follows：
于是我写了下面这么一篇：
SPIRIT OF THE TENNESSEE PRESS
田纳西各报要闻摘录
The editors of the SemiWeekly Earthquake evidently labor under a misapprehensionmisapprehension n.误会， 误解 with regard to the Dallyhack railroad. It is not the object of the company to leave Buzzardville off to one side. On the contrary， they consider it one of the most important points along the line， and consequently can have no desire to slight it. The gentlemen of the Earthquake will， of course， take pleasure in making the correction.
“地震”半周刊的编者们关于巴里哈克铁道的报道显然是弄错了。公司的方针并不是要把巴扎维尔丢在一边。不但如此，他们还认为这个地方是沿线最重要的地点之一，因此决不会有轻视它的意思。“地震”的编辑先生们当然是会乐于予以更正的。
John W. Blossom， Esq.， the able editor of the Higginsville Thunderbolt and Battle Cry of Freedom， arrived in the city yesterday. He is stopping at the Van Buren House.
希金斯维尔“响雷与自由呼声”的高明主笔约翰·布洛松先生昨天光临本城。他住在范·布伦旅舍。
We observe that our contemporarycontemporary n.同时代的人 adj.当代的， 同时代的 of the Mud Springs Morning Howl has fallen into the error of supposing that the election of Van Werter is not an established fact， but he will have discovered his mistake before this reminder reaches him， no doubt. He was doubtlessdoubtless adj.无疑的， 确定的 adv.无疑地， 确定地，<口>大概、多半 misled by incomplete election returns.
我们发现泥泉“晨声报”的同业认为范·维特的当选还不是确定的事实，这是一种错误的看法，但在他没有看到我们的纠正之前，一定会发现了他的错误。他当然是受了不完全的选票揭晓数字的影响而作了这个不正确的推断。
It is pleasant to note that the city of Blathersville is endeavoring to contractcontract n.合同， 契约， 婚约 v.使缩短， 感染， 订约 with some New York gentlemen to pave its wellnigh impassableimpassable adj.不能通行的， 无路可通的 streets with the Nicholson pavement. The Daily Hurrah urges the measure with ability， and seems confident of ultimateultimate adj.最后的， 最终的， 根本的 n.最终 success.
有一个可喜的消息：布雷特维尔城正在设法与纽约的几位工程师订约，用尼古尔逊铺道材料翻修那些几乎无法通行的街道。“每日呼声”极力鼓吹此事，并对最后成功似有把握。
I passed my manuscript over to the chief editor for acceptanceacceptance n.接受， 承诺， 容忍， 赞同， 相信， alterationalteration n.变更， 改造， or destruction. He glanced at it and his face clouded. He ran his eye down the pages， and his countenance grew portentous. It was easy to see that something was wrong. Presently he sprang up and said， “Thunder and lightning！ Do you suppose I am going to speak of those cattle that way？ Do you suppose my subscriberssubscriber n.订户， 签署者， 捐献者 are going to stand such gruel as that？ Give me the pen！ ”
我把我的稿子交给主笔先生，随他采用、修改，或是撕毁。他看了一眼，脸上就显出不高兴的神气。他再往下一页一页地看，脸色简直变得可怕。显而易见，一定是出了毛病。他随即就一下子跳起来，说道：“哎呀哈！你以为我提起那些畜生，会用这种口气吗？你以为订户们会看得下这种糟糕的文章吗？把笔给我吧！”
I never saw a pen scrapescrape n.刮， 擦， 擦痕， 刮擦声， 困境 vi.刮掉， 擦掉，刮出刺耳声 vt.刮， 擦， 擦伤， 挖成 and scratch its way so viciously， or plow through another mans verbs and adjectives so relentlessly. While he was in the midst of his work， somebody shot at him through the open window， and marred the symmetrysymmetry n.对称， 匀称 of my ear.
我从来没有见过一支笔像这样恶毒地连画带勾一直往下乱涂，像这样无情地把别人的动词和形容词乱画乱改。他正在进行这项工作的时候，有人从敞开的窗户外面向他放了一枪，把我的一只耳朵打得和另一只不对称了。
“Ah，” said he， “that is that scoundrelscoundrel n.无赖， 恶棍 adj.卑鄙的 Smith， of the Moral Volcano—he was due yesterday.” And he snatched a navy revolver from his belt and fired—Smith dropped， shot in the thigh. The shot spoiled Smiths aim， who was just taking a second chance and he crippled a stranger. It was me. Merely a finger shot off.
“呵，”他说，“那就是斯密士那个混蛋，他是‘精神火山报’的——昨天就该来哩！”于是他从腰带里抽出左轮来放了一枪。史密斯被打中了大腿，倒在地下。他正在要放第二枪，可是因为他被主笔先生打中了，自己那一枪就落了空，只打中一个局外人。那就是我。还好，只打掉一只手指。
Then the chief editor went on with his erasure， and interlineationsinterline vt.插写进去， 印刷于行间， 写在行间. Just as he finished them a hand grenade came down the stovepipe， and the explosionexplosion n.爆发， 发出， 爆炸， ［矿］煤气爆炸 shivered the stove into a thousand fragments. However， it did no further damage， except that a vagrant piece knocked a couple of my teeth out.
于是主笔先生又继续进行他的涂改和增删。正当他刚刚改完的时候，有人从火炉的烟筒里丢了一个手榴弹进来，一声爆炸，把火炉炸得粉碎。幸好只有一块乱飞的碎片敲掉我一对牙齿，此外并无其他损害。
“That stove is utterly ruined.” said the chief editor.
“那个火炉完全毁了。”主笔说。
I said I believed it was.
我说我也相信是这样。