“The next morning at eleven oclock when I was sitting there alone, an Uncle Tom shufflesshuffle n.拖着脚走, 混乱, 蒙混, 洗纸牌 v.拖曳, 搅乱,慢吞吞地走, 推诿, 洗牌 into the hotel and asked for the doctor to come and see Judge Banks, who, it seems, was the mayor and a mighty sick man.
“第二天上午十一点钟,当我独自坐着时,一个黑人慢吞吞地走进旅馆,请大夫去瞧瞧班克斯法官,也就是那位镇长,据说他病得很凶。
“‘Im no doctor.’ says I. ‘Why dont you go and get the doctor?’
“‘我不是替人瞧病的。’我说。‘你干吗不去请那位大夫?’
“‘Boss,’ says he, ‘Doc Hoskins am done gone twenty miles in de country to see some sick persons. Hes de only doctor in de town, and Massa Banks am powerful bad off. He sent me to ax you to please, suh, come.’
“‘老板,’他说,‘霍斯金大夫到二十英里外的乡下地方去替人治病啦。镇上只有他一位大夫,班克斯老爷病得很厉害。他吩咐我来请你,先生。’
“‘As man to man,’ says I, ‘Ill go and look him over.’ So I put a bottle of Resurrection Bitters in my pocket and goes up on the hill to the mayors mansionmansion n.大厦, 官邸, 公寓(用复数,用于专有名词中), the finest house in town, with a mannered roof and two cast iron dogs on the lawn.
“‘出于同胞的情谊,’我说,‘我不妨去看看他。’我拿起一瓶回春药酒,往口袋里一塞,来到山上的镇长公馆,那是镇上最讲究的房子,斜屋顶,门口草坪上有两只铁铸的狗。
“This Mayor Banks was in bed all but his whiskerswhiskers n.腮须, 胡须 and feet. He was making internal noises that would have had everybody in San Francisco hiking for the parks. A young man was standing by the bed holding a cup of water.
“班克斯镇长除了胡子和脚尖之外,全身都塞在被子里。他肚子里发出的响声,如果在旧金山的话,会让人误认为是地震,听了就要夺路往空旷的地方逃跑。一个年轻人拿着一杯水,站在床边。
“‘Doc,’ says the Mayor, ‘Im awful sick. Im about to die. Cant you do nothing for me?’
“‘大夫,’镇长说,‘我病得很厉害。我快死了。你能不能想想办法救救我?’
“‘Mr. Mayor,’ says I, ‘Im not a regular preordained discipledisciple n.信徒, 弟子, 门徒 of S. Q. Lapius. I never took a course in a medical college,’ says I. ‘Ive just come as a fellow man to see if I could be off assistanceassistance n.协助, 援助, 补助, <英>国家补助.’
“‘镇长先生,’我说,‘我没有福气做艾斯·库·拉比乌斯的正式门徒,我从来没有在医科大学里念过书。’我说。‘我只不过是以同胞的身份来看看有什么地方可以效劳。
“‘Im deeply obliged.’ says he, ‘Doc Waughhoo, this is my nephew, Mr. Biddle. He has tried to alleviatealleviate vt.使(痛苦等)易于忍受, 减轻 my distress, but without success. Oh, Lordy! Ow—ow—ow!!’ he sings out.
“‘非常感激。’他说。‘沃胡大夫,这一位是我的外甥比德尔先生。他想减轻我的痛苦,可是不行。哦,天哪!哦——哦——哦!’他呻吟起来。
“I nods at Mr. Biddle and sets down by the bed and feels the mayors pulsepulse n.脉搏, 脉冲. ‘Let me see your liver—your tongue, I mean.’ says I. Then I turns up the lids of his eyes and looks close that the pupils of em.
“我招呼了比德尔先生,然后坐在床边上,试试镇长的脉搏。‘让我看看你的肝——我是说舌苔。’我说道。接着,我翻起他的眼睑,仔细看看瞳孔。
“‘How long have you been sick?’ I asked.
“‘你病了多久啦?’我问。
“‘I was taken down—ow—ouch—last night.’ says the Mayor. ‘Gimme something for it, doc, wont you?’
“‘我这病是——哦——哎呀——昨晚发作的。’镇长说。‘给我开点儿药,大夫,好不好?’
“‘Mr. Fiddle.’ says I, ‘raise the window shade a bit, will you?’
“‘飞德尔先生,’我说,‘请你把窗帘拉开一点,好吗?’
“‘Biddle,’ says the young man. ‘Do you feel like you could eat some ham and eggs, Uncle James?’
“‘比德尔。’年轻人纠正我说,‘你不想吃点火腿蛋吗,詹姆斯舅舅?’
“‘Mr. Mayor,’ says I, after laying my ear to his right shoulder blade and listening, ‘youve got a bad attack of superinflammation of the right clavicleclavicle n.[解剖]锁骨 of the harpsichord!’
“我把耳朵贴在他的右肩膀上,听了一会儿后说:‘镇长先生,你害的病是非常凶险的灰秃右锁骨的超急性炎症!’
“‘Good Lord!’ says he, with a groan, ‘Cant you rub something on it, or set it or anything?’
“‘老天爷!’他叫唤着说。‘你能不能在上面抹点什么,或者正一正骨,或者想点什么别的办法了’
“I picks up my hat and starts for the door.
“我拿起帽子,朝门口走去。
“‘You aint going, doc?’ says the Mayor with a howlhowl v.嚎叫, 怒吼, 号啕大哭, 喝住, 号叫 n.嚎叫, 怒号, 嚎哭. ‘You aint going away and leave me to die with this—superfluitysuperfluity n.额外, 奢侈品 of the clapboardsclapboard n.墙板, 隔板, 桶板 vt.遮以墙板, are you?’
“‘你不是要走吧,大夫?’镇长带着哭怒说。‘你总不见得要离开这儿,让我害着这种——灰秃锁骨的超急性癌症,见死不救吧?’
“‘Common humanity, Dr. Whoaha,’ says Mr. Biddle, ‘ought to prevent your deserting a fellowhuman in distressdistress n.悲痛, 穷困, 不幸, 危难, 忧伤 v.使悲痛,使穷困, 使忧伤.’
“‘你如果有恻隐之心,大夫,’比德尔先生肯求说,‘就不应该眼看一个同胞受苦而撒手不管。’
“‘Dr. Waughhoo, when you get through plowing,’ says I. And then I walks back to the bed and throws back my long hair.
“‘我的名字是沃胡大夫,别像叱喝牲口那样哇哈哇哈的。’我说。接着我回到床边,把我的长头发往后一甩。
“‘Mr. Mayor,’ says I, ‘there is only one hope for you. Drugs will do you no good. But there is another power higher yet, although drugs are high enough.’ says I.
“‘镇长先生,’我说,‘你只有一个希望。药物对你已经起不了作用了。药物的效力固然很大,不过还有一样效力更大的东西。’我说。
“‘And what is that?’ says he.
“‘是什么呀?’他问道。
“‘Scientific demonstrationsdemonstration n.示范, 实证.’ says I. ‘The triumph of mind over sarsaparillasarsaparilla n.撒尔沙植物, 由撒尔沙根中提炼的药. The belief that there is no pain and sickness except what is produced when we aint feeling well. Declare yourself in arrears. Demonstrate.’
“‘科学证明。’我说。‘意志能战胜苦难。要相信痛苦和疾病是不存在的,只不过是我们不舒服时的感觉罢了。诚则灵。试试看吧。’
“‘What is this paraphernaliaparaphernalia n.随身用具 you speak of, Doc?’ says the Mayor. ‘You aint a Socialist, are you?’
“‘你讲的是什么把戏,大夫?’镇长说,‘你不是社会主义者吧?’
“‘I am speaking,’ says I, ‘of the great doctrine of psychicpsychic adj.精神的 financiering—of the enlightened school of longdistance, subconscientious treatment of fallacies and meningitis—of that wonderful indoor sport known as personal magnetismmagnetism n.磁, 磁力, 吸引力, 磁学.’
“‘我讲的是,’我说,‘那种叫做催眠术的精神筹资的伟大学说——以远距离、潜意识来治疗谬误和脑膜炎的启蒙学派——奇妙的室内运动。’
“‘Can you work it, doc?’ asks the Mayor.
“‘你能行施那种法术吗,大夫?’镇长问道。
“‘Im one of the Sole Sanhedrims and Ostensible Hooplas of the Inner Pulpit.’ says I. ‘The lamelame adj.跛足的, 僵痛的, 不完全的, 金属薄片,不知内情的人, (辩解、论据等)无说服力的 vi.变跛,瘸行 vt.使成残废 talk and the blind rubber whenever I make a pass at ’em. I am a medium, a coloraturacoloratura n.(有装饰技巧的)花腔女高音 adj.花腔音的 adv.花腔音地 hypnotisthypnotist n.催眠士 and a spirituous control. It was only through me at the recent seances at Ann Arbor that the late president of the Vinegar Bitters Company could revisit the earth to communicate with his sister Jane. You see me peddling medicine on the street,’ says I, ‘to the poor. I dont practice personal magnetism on them. I do not drag it in the dust,’ says I, ‘because they havent got the dust.’
“‘我是最高长老院的大祭司和内殿法师之一。’我说,‘我一施展催眠术,瘸子就能走路,瞎子就能复明。我是灵媒,是花腔催眠术家,是灵魂的主宰。最近在安阿伯的降神会上,全靠我的法力,已故的酒醋公司经理才能重归世间,同他的妹妹简交谈。你看到我在街上卖药给穷苦人,’我说,‘我不在他们身上行施催眠术。我不降格以求,’我说,‘因为他们袋中无银。’
“‘Will you treat my case?’ asks the Mayor.
“‘那你肯不肯替我做做呢?’镇长问道。
“‘Listen,’ says I, ‘Ive had a good deal of trouble with medical societies everywhere Ive been. I dont practice medicine. But, to save your life, Ill give you the psychic treatment if youll agree as mayor not to push the licenselicense n.许可(证), 执照 vt.许可, 特许 v.许可 question.’