AMPH.No; I will listen to you without being carried away; Ipromised it.But tell me in good earnest, is there any shadow of likelihood in this new mystery which you have just told me?
SOS.No; you are right, the matter must appear to everyone past credit.It is a fact past understanding, an extravagant, ridiculous, far-fetched tale: it shocks common sense; but it is none the less a fact.
AMPH.How can anyone believe it, unless he has taken leave of his senses?
SOS.I myself did not believe it without extreme difficulty: Ithought I was losing my senses when I saw myself two, and, for a long time, I treated my other self as an impostor: but he compelled me in the end to recognise myself; I saw it was I, without any trickery; from head to foot he is like me-handsome, a noble air, well built, charming manners; in fact, two peas do not resemble each other more; were it not that his hands are a little too heavy, Ishould be perfectly satisfied.
AMPH.I had need exhort myself to patience! But did you not in the end go into the house?
SOS.Good, go in! Ah! In what fashion? Have I never wished to listen to reason? Did I not forbid myself to enter our door?
AMPH.In what way?
SOS.With a stick, my back still aches from it.
AMPH.You have been thrashed?
SOS.Truly.
AMPH.And by whom?
SOS.Myself.
AMPH.You have thrashed yourself?
SOS.Yes, I; not the I who is here, but the I from the house, who whacks soundly.
AMPH.Heaven confound you for talking to me like this!
SOS.I am not joking; the I whom I have just met has great advantages over the I who speaks to you.He has a strong arm and great courage; I have had proofs of both; this devil of an I has licked me soundly; he is a fellow who can do wonders.
AMPH.Let us, cease this.Have you seen my wife?
SOS.No.
AMPH.Why not?
SOS.For a sufficiently strong reason.
AMPH.Who hindered you, scoundrel? Explain yourself.
SOS.Must I repeat the same thing twenty times? I, I tell you, this I who is more robust than I, this I who took possession of the door by force, this I who made me slope off, this I who wishes to be the only I, this I who is jealous of myself, this valiant I, whose anger made itself known to this poltroon of an I, in fact, this I who is at our house, this I who has shown himself to be my master, this Iwho has racked me with pain.
AMPH.His brain must be addled by having had too much to drink this morning.
SOS.May I be hanged if I have had anything to drink but water: Itake my oath on it.
AMPH.Then your senses must have been fast asleep: some silly dream has shown you all these fairy tales and confused mysteries which you wish me to take for truths.
SOS.That is just as far away from the truth.I have not slept, and I do not even feel inclined that way.I am speaking to you wide-awake; I was wide awake this morning, upon my life! And the other Sosie was also wide-awake, when he drubbed me so well.
AMPH.Follow me; I order you to be silent.You tire my brain too much; I must be an out-and-out fool to have the patience to listen to the nonsense a valet has to say.
SOS.All talk is nonsense that comes from a man who is unknown.If a great man were to say it, it would be exquisite language.
AMPH.Let us go in without waiting any longer.But here comes Alcmene clothed in all her charms.Doubtless she does not expect me so soon, and my arrival will surprise her.