One proof of the excellence of this amiable woman's character, is, that all those who loved her, loved each other; even jealousy and rivalship submitting to the more powerful sentiment with which she inspired them, and I never saw any of those who surrounded her entertain the least ill will among themselves.Let the reader pause a moment on this encomium, and if he can recollect any other woman who deserves it, let him attach himself to her, if he would obtain happiness.
From my arrival at Chambery to my departure for Paris, 1741, included an interval of eight or nine years, during which time Ihave few adventures to relate; my life being as ****** as it was agreeable.This uniformity was precisely what was most wanting to complete the formation of my character, which continual troubles had prevented from acquiring any degree of stability.It was during this pleasing interval, that my unconnected, unfinished education, gained consistence, and made me what I have unalterably remained amid the storms with which I have since been surrounded.The progress was slow, almost imperceptible, and attended by few memorable circumstances; yet it deserves to be followed and investigated.
At first, I was wholly occupied with my business, the constraint of a desk left little opportunity for other thoughts, the small portion of time I was at liberty was passed with my dear Madam de Warrens, and not having leisure to read, I felt no inclination for it;but when my business (by daily repetition) became familiar, and my mind was less occupied, study again became necessary, and (as my desires were ever irritated by any difficulty that opposed the indulgence of them) might once more have become a passion, as at my master's, had not other inclinations interposed and diverted it.
Though our occupation did not demand a very profound skill in arithmetic, it sometimes required enough to puzzle me.To conquer this difficulty, I purchased books which treated on that science, and learned well, for I now studied alone.Practical arithmetic extends further than is usually supposed, if you would attain exact precision.
There are operations of extreme length in which I have sometimes seen good geometricians lose themselves.Reflection, assisted by practice, gives clear ideas, and enables you to devise shorter methods, these inventions flatter our self-complacency, while their exactitude satisfies our understanding, and renders a study pleasant, which is, of itself, heavy and unentertaining.At length Ibecame so expert as not to be puzzled by any question that was solvable by arithmetical calculation; and even now, while everything Iformerly knew fades daily on my memory, this acquirement, in a great measure remains, through an interval of thirty years.A few days ago, in a journey I made to Davenport, being with my host at an arithmetical lesson given his children, I did (with pleasure, and without errors) a most complicated work.While setting down my figures, methought I was still at Chambery, still in my days of happiness- how far I had to look back for them!
The colored plans of our geometricians had given me a taste for drawing: accordingly I bought colors, and began by attempting flowers and landscapes.It was unfortunate that I had not talents for this art, for my inclination was much disposed to it, and while surrounded with crayons, pencils, and colors, I could have passed whole months without wishing to leave them.This amusement engaged me so much, that they were obliged to force me from it; and thus it is with every inclination I give in to, it continues to augment, till at length it becomes so powerful, that I lose sight of everything except the favorite amusement.Years have not been able to cure me of that fault, nay, have not even diminished it; for while I am writing this, behold me, like an old dotard, infatuated with another, to me useless study, which I do not understand, and which even those who have devoted their youthful days to the acquisition of, are constrained to abandon, at the age I am beginning with it.
At that time, the study I am now speaking of would have been well placed, the opportunity was good, and I had some temptation to profit by it; for the satisfaction I saw in the eyes of Anet, when he came home loaded with new discovered plants, set me two or three times on the point of going to herbalize with him, and I am almost certain that had I gone once, I should have been caught, and perhaps at this day might have been an excellent botanist, for I know no study more congenial to my natural inclination, than that of plants; the life I have led for these ten years past, in the country, being little more than a continual herbalizing, though I must confess, without object, and without improvement; but at the time I am now speaking of I had no inclination for botany, nay, I even despised, and was disgusted at the idea, considering it only as a fit study for an apothecary.Madam de Warrens was fond of it merely for this purpose, seeking none but common plants to use in her medical preparations;thus botany, chemistry, and anatomy were confounded in my idea under the general denomination of medicine, and served to furnish me with pleasant sarcasms the whole day, which procured me, from time to time, a box on the ear, applied by Madam de Warrens.Besides this, a very contrary taste grew up with me, and by degrees absorbed all others;this was music.I was certainly born for that science, I loved it from my infancy, and it was the only inclination I have constantly adhered to; but it is astonishing that what nature seemed to have designed me for should have cost me so much pains to learn, and that Ishould acquire it so slowly, that after a whole life spent in the practice of this art, I could never attain to sing with any certainty at sight.What rendered the study of music more agreeable to me at that time, was, being able to practice it with Madam de Warrens.