书城公版THE CONFESSIONS
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第57章 [1731-1732](5)

This dwarf, ill-used by nature as to his person, was recompensed by possessing an understanding naturally agreeable, and which he had been careful to cultivate.Though he was esteemed a good lawyer, he did not like his profession, delighting more in the finer parts of literature, which he studied with success: above all, he possessed that superficial brilliancy, the art of pleasing in conversation, even with the ladies.He knew by heart a number of little stories, which he perfectly well knew how to make the most of; relating with an air of secrecy, and as an anecdote of yesterday, what happened sixty years before.He understood music, and could sing agreeably; in short, for a magistrate, he had many pleasing talents.By flattering the ladies of Annecy, he became fashionable among them, appearing continually in their train.He even pretended to favors, at which they were much amused.A Madam D'Epigny used to say "The greatest favor he could aspire to, was to kiss a lady on her knees."As he was well read, and spoke fluently, his conversation was both amusing and instructive.When I afterwards took a taste for study, Icultivated his acquaintance, and found my account in it: when at Chambery, I frequently went from thence to see him.His praises increased my emulation, to which he added some good advice respecting the prosecution of my studies, which I found useful.

Unhappily, this weakly body contained a very feeling soul.Some years after, he was chagrined by I know not what unlucky affair, but it cost him his life.This was really unfortunate, for he was a good little man, whom at a first acquaintance one laughed at, but afterwards loved.Though our situations in life were very little connected with each other, as I received some useful lessons from him, I thought gratitude demanded that I should dedicate a few sentences to his memory.

As soon as I found myself at liberty, I ran into the street where Mademoiselle Galley lived, flattering myself that I should see some one go in or out, or at least open a window, but I was mistaken, not even a cat appeared, the house remaining as close all the time as if it had been uninhabited.The street was small and lonely, any one loitering about was, consequently, more likely to be noticed; from time to time people passed in and out of the neighborhood; I was much embarrassed, thinking my person might be known, and the cause that brought me there conjectured; this idea tortured me, for I have ever preferred the honor and happiness of those I love to my own pleasures.

At length, weary of playing the Spanish lover, and having no guitar, I determined to write to Mademoiselle de Graffenried.I should have preferred writing to her friend, but did not dare take that liberty, as it appeared more proper to begin with her to whom I owed the acquaintance, and with whom I was most familiar.Having written my letter, I took it to Mademoiselle Giraud, as the young ladies had agreed at parting, they having furnished me with this expedient.

Mademoiselle Giraud was a quilter, and sometimes worked at Madam Galley's, which procured her free admission to the house.I must confess, I was not thoroughly satisfied with this messenger, but was cautious of starting difficulties, fearing that if I objected to her no other might be named, and it was impossible to intimate that she had an inclination to me herself.I even felt humiliated that she should think I could imagine her of the same *** as those young ladies: in a word, I accepted her agency rather than none, and availed myself of it at all events.

At the very first word, Giraud discovered me.I must own this was not a difficult matter, for if sending a letter to young girls had not spoken sufficiently plain, my foolish embarrassed air would have betrayed me.It will easily be supposed that the employment gave her little satisfaction, she undertook it, however, and performed it faithfully.The next morning I ran to her house and found an answer ready for me.How did I hurry away that I might have an opportunity to read and kiss it alone! though this need not be told, but the plan adopted by Mademoiselle Giraud (and in which I found more delicacy and moderation than I had expected) should.She had sense enough to conclude, that her thirty-seven years, hare's eyes, daubed nose, shrill voice, and black skin, stood no chance against two elegant young girls, in all the height and bloom of beauty; she resolved, therefore, neither to betray nor assist them, choosing rather to lose me entirely than entertain me for them.

As Merceret had not heard from her mistress for some time, she thought of returning to Fribourg, and the persuasions of Giraud determined her; nay more, she intimated it was proper some one should conduct her to her father's, and proposed me.As I happened to be agreeable to little Merceret, she approved the idea, and the same day they mentioned it to me as a fixed point.Finding nothing displeasing in the manner they had disposed of me, I consented, thinking it could not be above a week's journey at most; but Giraud, who had arranged the whole affair, thought otherwise.It was necessary to avow the state of my finances, and the conclusion was, that Merceret should defray my expenses; but to retrench on one hand what was expended on the older, I advised that her little baggage should be sent on before, and that we should proceed by easy journeys on foot.

I am sorry to have so many girls in love with me, but as there is nothing to be very vain of in the success of these amours, I think Imay tell the truth without scruple.Merceret, younger and less artful than Giraud, never made me so many advances, but she imitated my manners, my actions repeated my words, and showed me all those little attentions I ought to have had for her.Being very timorous, she took great care that we should both sleep in the same chamber; a circumstance that usually produces some consequences between a lad of twenty and a girl of twenty-five.