书城公版THE CONFESSIONS
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第263章 [1762](12)

Amongst these connections, made and continued by force, I must notomit the only one that was agreeable to me, and in which my heartwas really interested: this was that I had with a young Hungarianwho came to live at Neuchatel, and from that place to Motiers, a fewmonths after I had taken up my residence there.He was called by thepeople of the country the Baron de Sauttern, by which name he had beenrecommended from Zurich.He was tall, well made, had an agreeablecountenance, and mild and social qualities.He told everybody, andgave me also to understand, that he came to Neuchatel for no otherpurpose, than that of forming his youth to virtue, by hisintercourse with me.His physiognomy, manner, and behavior, seemedwell suited to his conversation, and I should have thought I failed inone of the greatest duties had I turned my back upon a young man inwhom I perceived nothing but what was amiable, and who sought myacquaintance from so respectable a motive.My heart knows not how toconnect itself by halves.He soon acquired my friendship, and all myconfidence, and we were presently inseparable.He accompanied me inall my walks, and became fond of them.I took him to the marechal, whoreceived him with the utmost kindness.As he was yet unable to explainhimself in French, he spoke and wrote to me in Latin, I answered inFrench, and this mingling of the two languages did not make ourconversations either less smooth or lively.He spoke of his family,his affairs, his adventures, and of the court of Vienna, with thedomestic details of which he seemed well acquainted.In fine, duringtwo years which we passed in the greatest intimacy, I found in him amildness of character proof against everything, manners not onlypolite but elegant, great neatness of person, an extreme decency inhis conversation, in a word, all the marks of a man born andeducated a gentleman, and which rendered him in my eyes tooestimable not to make him dear to me.

At the time we were upon the most intimate and friendly terms,D'Ivernois wrote to me from Geneva, putting me upon my guard againstthe young Hungarian who had taken up his residence in my neighborhood;telling me he was a spy whom the minister of France had appointed towatch my proceedings.This information was of a nature to alarm me themore, as everybody advised me to guard against the machinations ofpersons who were employed to keep an eye upon my actions, and toentice me into France for the purpose of betraying me.

To shut the mouths, once for all, of these foolish advisers, Iproposed to Sauttern, without giving him the least intimation of theinformation I had received, a journey on foot to Pontarlier, towhich he consented.As soon as we arrived there I put the letterfrom D'Ivernois into his hands, and after giving him an ardentembrace, I said: "Sauttern has no need of a proof of my confidencein him, but it is necessary I should prove to the public that I knowin whom to place it." This embrace was accompanied with a pleasurewhich persecutors can neither feel themselves, nor take away fromthe oppressed.

I will never believe Sauttern was a spy, nor that he betrayed me;but I was deceived by him.When I opened to him my heart withoutreserve, he constantly kept his own shut, and abused me by lies.Heinvented I know not what kind of story, to prove to me his presencewas necessary in his own country.I exhorted him to return to it assoon as possible.He set off, and when I thought he was in Hungary,I learned he was at Strasbourgh.This was not the first time he hadbeen there.He had caused some disorder in a family in that city;and the husband knowing I received him in my house, wrote to me.Iused every effort to bring the young woman back to the paths ofvirtue, and Sauttern to his duty.

When I thought they were perfectly detached from each other, theyrenewed their acquaintance, and the husband had the complaisance toreceive the young man at his house; from that moment I had nothingmore to say.I found the pretended baron had imposed upon me by agreat number of lies.His name was not Sauttern, but Sauttersheim.

With respect to the title of baron, given him in Switzerland, Icould not reproach him with the impropriety, because he had nevertaken it; but I have not a doubt of his being a gentleman, and themarshal, who knew mankind, and had been in Hungary, alwaysconsidered and treated him as such.

He had no sooner left my neighborhood, than the girl at the innwhere he ate, at Motiers, declared herself with child by him.Shewas so dirty a creature, and Sauttern, generally esteemed in thecountry for his conduct and purity of morals, piqued himself so muchupon cleanliness, that everybody was shocked at this impudentpretension.The most amiable women of the country, who had vainlydisplayed to him their charms, were furious: I myself was almostchoked with indignation.I used every effort to get the tongue of thisimpudent woman stopped, offering to pay all expenses, and to givesecurity for Sauttersheim.I wrote to him in the fullest persuasion,not only that this pregnancy could not relate to him, but it wasfeigned, and the whole a machination of his enemies and mine.I wishedhim to return and confound the strumpet, and those by whom she wasdictated to.The pusillanimity of his answer surprised me.He wrote tothe master of the parish to which the creature belonged, andendeavored to stifle the matter.Perceiving this, I concerned myselfno more about it, but I was astonished that a man who could stoop solow should have been sufficiently master of himself to deceive me byhis reserve in the closest familiarity.