I PASSED a sleepless night.
The outrage that had been offered to me was bad enough in itself.
But consequences were associated with it which might affect me more seriously still. In so far as the attainment of the one object of my life might yet depend on my personal association with Miserrimus Dexter, an insurmountable obstacle appeared to be now placed in my way. Even in my husband's interests, ought I to permit a man who had grossly insulted me to approach me again?
Although I was no prude, I recoiled from the thought of it.
I arose late, and sat down at my desk, trying to summon energy enough to write to Mr. Playmore--and trying in vain.
Toward noon (while Benjamin happened to be out for a little while) the housekeeper announced the arrival of another strange visitor at the gate of the villa.
"It's a woman this time, ma'am--or something like one," said this worthy person, confidentially. "A great, stout, awkward, stupid creature, with a man's hat on and a man's stick in her hand. She says she has got a note for you, and she won't give it to anybody _but_ you. I'd better not let her in--had I?"Recognizing the original of the picture, I astonished the housekeeper by consenting to receive the messenger immediately.
Ariel entered the room--in stolid silence, as usual. But Inoticed a change in her which puzzled me. Her dull eyes were red and bloodshot. Traces of tears (as I fancied) were visible on her fat, shapeless cheeks. She crossed the room, on her way to my chair, with a less determined tread than was customary with her.
Could Ariel (I asked myself) be woman enough to cry? Was it within the limits of possibility that Ariel should approach me in sorrow and in fear?
"I hear you have brought something for me?" I said. "Won't you sit down?"She handed me a letter--without answering and without taking a chair. I opened the envelope. The letter inside was written by Miserrimus Dexter. It contained these lines:
"Try to pity me, if you have any pity left for a miserable man;I have bitterly expiated the madness of a moment. If you could see me--even you would own that my punishment has been heavy enough. For God's sake, don't abandon me! I was beside myself when I let the feeling that you have awakened in me get the better of my control. It shall never show itself again; it shall be a secret that dies with me. Can I expect you to believe this?
No. I won't ask you to believe me; I won't ask you to trust me in the future. If you ever consent to see me again, let it be in the presence of any third person whom you may appoint to protect you.
I deserve that--I will submit to it; I will wait till time has composed your angry feeling against me. All I ask now is leav e to hope. Say to Ariel, 'I forgive him; and one day I will let him see me again.' She will remember it, for love of me. If you send her back without a message, you send me to the mad-house. Ask her, if you don't believe me.
"MISERRIMUS DEXTER."
I finished the strange letter, and looked at Ariel.
She stood with her eyes on the floor, and held out to me the thick walking-stick which she carried in her hand.
"Take the stick" were the first words she said to me.
"Why am I to take it?" I asked.
She struggled a little with her sluggishly working mind, and slowly put her thoughts into words.
"You're angry with the Master," she said. "Take it out on Me.
Here's the stick. Beat me."
"Beat you!" I exclaimed.
"My back's broad," said the poor creature. "I won't make a row.
I'll bear it. Drat you, take the stick! Don't vex _him._ Whack it out on my back. Beat _me._"She roughly forced the stick into my hand; she turned her poor shapeless shoulders to me; waiting for the blow. It was at once dreadful and touching to see her. The tears rose in my eyes. Itried, gently and patiently, to reason with her. Quite useless!
The idea of taking the Master's punishment on herself was the one idea in her mind. "Don't vex _him,_" she repeated. "Beat _me._""What do you mean by 'vexing him'?" I asked.
She tried to explain, and failed to find the words. She showed me by imitation, as a savage might have shown me, what she meant.
Striding to the fire-place, she crouched on the rug, and looked into the fire with a horrible vacant stare. Then she clasped her hands over her forehead, and rocked slowly to and fro, still staring into the fire. "There's how he sits!" she said, with a sudden burst of speech. "Hours on hours, there's how he sits!
Notices nobody. Cries about _you._"
The picture she presented recalled to my memory the Report of Dexter's health, and the doctor's plain warning of peril waiting for him in the future.
Even if I could have resisted Ariel, I must have yielded to the vague dread of consequences which now shook me in secret.
"Don't do that!" I cried. She was still rocking herself in imitation of the "Master," and still staring into the fire with her hands to her head. "Get up, pray! I am not angry with him now. I forgive him."She rose on her hands and knees, and waited, looking up intently into my face. In that attitude--more like a dog than a human being--she repeated her customary petition when she wanted to fix words that interested her in her mind.
"Say it again!"
I did as she bade me. She was not satisfied.