"The vicar of Cadford--not the nice drunkard--declares the name is really 'Chadford,' and he worried on till I put up a window to St. Chad in our church. His Cambridge wife pronounces it 'Hyadford.' I could smack them both. How do you like Podge? Ah! you jump; I meant you to. How do you like Podge Wonham?""Very nice," said Agnes, laughing.
"Nice! He is a hero."
There was a long interval of silence. Each lady looked, without much interest, at the view. Mrs. Failing's attitude towards Nature was severely aesthetic--an attitude more sterile than the severely practical. She applied the test of beauty to shadow and odour and sound; they never filled her with reverence or excitement; she never knew them as a resistless trinity that may intoxicate the worshipper with joy. If she liked a ploughed field, it was only as a spot of colour--not also as a hint of the endless strength of the earth. And today she could approve of one cloud, but object to its fellow. As for Miss Pembroke, she was not approving or objecting at all. "A hero?" she queried, when the interval had passed. Her voice was indifferent, as if she had been thinking of other things.
"A hero? Yes. Didn't you notice how heroic he was?""I don't think I did."
"Not at dinner? Ah, Agnes, always look out for heroism at dinner.
It is their great time. They live up to the stiffness of their shirt fronts. Do you mean to say that you never noticed how he set down Rickie?""Oh, that about poetry!" said Agnes, laughing. "Rickie would not mind it for a moment. But why do you single out that as heroic?""To snub people! to set them down! to be rude to them! to make them feel small! Surely that's the lifework of a hero?""I shouldn't have said that. And as a matter of fact Mr. Wonham was wrong over the poetry. I made Rickie look it up afterwards.""But of course. A hero always is wrong."
"To me," she persisted, rather gently, "a hero has always been a strong wonderful being, who champions--""Ah, wait till you are the dragon! I have been a dragon most of my life, I think. A dragon that wants nothing but a peaceful cave. Then in comes the strong, wonderful, delightful being, and gains a princess by piercing my hide. No, seriously, my dear Agnes, the chief characteristics of a hero are infinite disregard for the feelings of others, plus general inability to understand them.""But surely Mr. Wonham--"
"Yes; aren't we being unkind to the poor boy. Ought we to go on talking?"Agnes waited, remembering the warnings of Rickie, and thinking that anything she said might perhaps be repeated.
"Though even if he was here he wouldn't understand what we are saying.""Wouldn't understand?"
Mrs. Failing gave the least flicker of an eye towards her companion. "Did you take him for clever?""I don't think I took him for anything." She smiled. "I have been thinking of other things, and another boy.""But do think for a moment of Stephen. I will describe how he spent yesterday. He rose at eight. From eight to eleven he sang.
The song was called, 'Father's boots will soon fit Willie.' He stopped once to say to the footman, 'She'll never finish her book. She idles: 'She' being I. At eleven he went out, and stood in the rain till four, but had the luck to see a child run over at the level-crossing. By half-past four he had knocked the bottom out of Christianity."Agnes looked bewildered.