Oh!Renee,the silence which reigns in this valley would bring joy to the dead!One is awakened by the birds singing or the breeze rustling in the poplars.A little spring,discovered by the architect in digging the foundations of the wall,trickles down the hillside over silvery sand to the lake,between two banks of water-cress,hugging the edge of the woods.I know nothing that money can buy to equal it.
May not Gaston come to loathe this too perfect bliss?I shudder to think how complete it is,for the ripest fruits harbor the worms,the most gorgeous flowers attract the insects.Is it not ever the monarch of the forest which is eaten away by the fatal brown grub,greedy as death?I have learned before now that an unseen and jealous power attacks happiness which has reached perfection.Besides,this is the moral of all your preaching,and you have been proved a prophet.
When I went,the day before yesterday,to see whether my last whim had been carried out,tears rose to my eyes;and,to the great surprise of my architect,I at once passed his account for payment.
"But,madame,"he exclaimed,"your man of business will refuse to pay this;it is a matter of three hundred thousand francs."My only reply was to add the words,"To be paid without question,"with the bearing of a seventeenth-century Chaulieu.
"But,"I said,"there is one condition to my gratitude.No human being must hear from you of the park and buildings.Promise me,on your honor,to observe this article in our contract--not to breathe to a soul the proprietor's name."Now,can you understand the meaning of my sudden journeys,my mysterious comings and goings?Now,do you know whither those beautiful things,which the world supposes to be sold,have flown?Do you perceive the ultimate motive of my change of investment?Love,my dear,is a vast business,and they who would succeed in it should have no other.Henceforth I shall have no more trouble from money matters;I have taken all the thorns out of my life,and done my housekeeping work once for all with a vengeance,so as never to be troubled with it again,except during the daily ten minutes which I shall devote to my old major-domo Philippe.I have made a study of life and its sharp curves;there came a day when death also gave me harsh lessons.Now Iwant to turn all this to account.My one occupation will be to please /him/and love /him/,to brighten with variety what to common mortals is monotonously dull.
Gaston is still in complete ignorance.At my request he has,like myself,taken up his quarters at Ville d'Avray;to-morrow we start for the chalet.Our life there will cost but little;but if I told you the sum I am setting aside for my toilet,you would exclaim at my madness,and with reason.I intend to take as much trouble to make myself beautiful for him every day as other women do for society.My dress in the country,year in,year out,will cost twenty-four thousand francs,and the larger portion of this will not go in day costumes.As for him,he can wear a blouse if he pleases!Don't suppose that I am going to turn our life into an amorous duel and wear myself out in devices for feeding passion;all that I want is to have a conscience free from reproach.Thirteen years still lie before me as a pretty woman,and Iam determined to be loved on the last day of the thirteenth even more fondly than on the morrow of our mysterious nuptials.This time no cutting words shall mar my lowly,grateful content.I will take the part of servant,since that of mistress throve so ill with me before.
Ah!Renee,if Gaston has sounded,as I have,the heights and depths of love,my happiness is assured!Nature at the chalet wears her fairest face.The woods are charming;each step opens up to you some fresh vista of cool greenery,which delights the soul by the sweet thoughts it wakens.They breathe of love.If only this be not the gorgeous theatre dressed by my hand for my own martyrdom!
In two days from now I shall be Mme.Gaston.My God!is it fitting a Christian so to love mortal man?
"Well,at least you have the law with you,"was the comment of my man of business,who is to be one of my witnesses,and who exclaimed,on discovering why my property was to be realized,"I am losing a client!"And you,my sweetheart (whom I dare no longer call my loved one),may you not cry,"I am losing a sister?"My sweet,address when you write in future to Mme.Gaston,Poste Restante,Versailles.We shall send there every day for letters.Idon't want to be known to the country people,and we shall get our provisions from Paris.In this way I hope we may guard the secret of our lives.Nobody has been seen in the place during the years spent in preparing our retreat;and the purchase was made in the troubled period which followed the revolution of July.The only person who has shown himself here is the architect;he alone is known,and he will not return.
Farewell.As I write this word,I know not whether my heart is fuller of grief or joy.That proves,does it not,that the pain of losing you equals my love for Gaston?