SHE.I took Teddy to it.I thought it would do him good;and so it would if I could only have kept him awake.Georgina came too;and you should have heard the way she went on about it.She said it was downright immoral,and that she knew the sort of woman that encourages boys to sit on the hearthrug and make love to her.She was just preparing Teddy's mind to poison it about me.
HE.Let us be just to Georgina,dearest SHE.Let her deserve it first.Just to Georgina,indeed!
HE.She really sees the world in that way.That is her punishment.
SHE.How can it be her punishment when she likes it?It'll be my punishment when she brings that budget of poems to Teddy.I wish you'd have some sense,and sympathize with my position a little.
HE.[going away from the piano and beginning to walk about rather testily]My dear:I really don't care about Georgina or about Teddy.All these squabbles belong to a plane on which I am,as you say,no use.I have counted the cost;and I do not fear the consequences.After all,what is there to fear?Where is the difficulty?What can Georgina do?What can your husband do?What can anybody do?
SHE.Do you mean to say that you propose that we should walk right bang up to Teddy and tell him we're going away together?
HE.Yes.What can be ******r?
SHE.And do you think for a moment he'd stand it,like that half-baked clergyman in the play?He'd just kill you.
HE [coming to a sudden stop and speaking with considerable confidence]You don't understand these things,my darling,how could you?In one respect I am unlike the poet in the play.Ihave followed the Greek ideal and not neglected the culture of my body.Your husband would make a tolerable second-rate heavy weight if he were in training and ten years younger.As it is,he could,if strung up to a great effort by a burst of passion,give a good account of himself for perhaps fifteen seconds.But I am active enough to keep out of his reach for fifteen seconds;and after that I should be simply all over him.
SHE [rising and coming to him in consternation]What do you mean by all over him?
HE [gently]Don't ask me,dearest.At all events,I swear to you that you need not be anxious about me.
SHE.And what about Teddy?Do you mean to tell me that you are going to beat Teddy before my face like a brutal prizefighter?
HE.All this alarm is needless,dearest.Believe me,nothing will happen.Your husband knows that I am capable of defending myself.
Under such circumstances nothing ever does happen.And of course I shall do nothing.The man who once loved you is sacred to me.
SHE [suspiciously]Doesn't he love me still?Has he told you anything?
HE.No,no.[He takes her tenderly in his arms].Dearest,dearest:how agitated you are!how unlike yourself!All these worries belong to the lower plane.Come up with me to the higher one.The heights,the solitudes,the soul world!
SHE [avoiding his gaze]No:stop:it's no use,Mr Apjohn.
HE [recoiling]Mr Apjohn!!!
SHE.Excuse me:I meant Henry,of course.
HE.How could you even think of me as Mr Apjohn?I never think of you as Mrs Bompas:it is always Cand--I mean Aurora,Aurora,Auro--SHE.Yes,yes:that's all very well,Mr Apjohn [He is about to interrupt again:but she won't have it]no:it's no use:I've suddenly begun to think of you as Mr Apjohn;and it's ridiculous to go on calling you Henry.I thought you were only a boy,a child,a dreamer.I thought you would be too much afraid to do anything.And now you want to beat Teddy and to break up my home and disgrace me and make a horrible scandal in the papers.It's cruel,unmanly,cowardly.
HE [with grave wonder]Are you afraid?
SHE.Oh,of course I'm afraid.So would you be if you had any common sense.[She goes to the hearth,turning her back to him,and puts one tapping foot on the fender].
HE [watching her with great gravity]Perfect love casteth out fear.That is why I am not afraid.Mrs Bompas:you do not love me.
SHE [turning to him with a gasp of relief]Oh,thank you,thank you!You really can be very nice,Henry.
HE.Why do you thank me?
SHE [coming prettily to him from the fireplace]For calling me Mrs Bompas again.I feel now that you are going to be reasonable and behave like a gentleman.[He drops on the stool;covers his face with his hand;and groans].What's the matter?
HE.Once or twice in my life I have dreamed that I was exquisitely happy and blessed.But oh!the misgiving at the first stir of consciousness!the stab of reality!the prison walls of the bedroom!the bitter,bitter disappointment of waking!And this time!oh,this time I thought I was awake.
SHE.Listen to me,Henry:we really haven't time for all that sort of flapdoodle now.[He starts to his feet as if she had pulled a trigger and straightened him by the release of a powerful spring,and goes past her with set teeth to the little table].Oh,take care:you nearly hit me in the chin with the top of your head.
HE [with fierce politeness]I beg your pardon.What is it you want me to do?I am at your service.I am ready to behave like a gentleman if you will be kind enough to explain exactly how.
SHE [a little frightened]Thank you,Henry:I was sure you would.
You're not angry with me,are you?
HE.Go on.Go on quickly.Give me something to think about,or Iwill--I will--[he suddenly snatches up her fan and it about to break it in his clenched fists].
SHE [running forward and catching at the fan,with loud lamentation]Don't break my fan--no,don't.[He slowly relaxes his grip of it as she draws it anxiously out of his hands].
No,really,that's a stupid trick.I don't like that.You've no right to do that.[She opens the fan,and finds that the sticks are disconnected].Oh,how could you be so inconsiderate?
HE.I beg your pardon.I will buy you a new one.
SHE [querulously]You will never be able to match it.And it was a particular favorite of mine.
HE [shortly]Then you will have to do without it:that's all.
SHE.That's not a very nice thing to say after breaking my pet fan,I think.