书城公版The Pursuit of the House-Boat
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第24章 ON BOARD THE "GEHENNA"(2)

"Very well," he said."Shem be it.Bo'sun, pipe Shem on deck, and tell him that general order number one requires him to report at the mizzentop right away, and that immediately he sees anything he shall come below and make it known to me.As for the rest of us, having a very considerable appetite, I do now decree that it is dinner-time.

Shall we go below?"

"I don't think I care for any, thank you," said Raleigh."Fact is--ah--I dined last week, and am not hungry."Noah laughed."Oh, come below and watch us eat, then," he said.

"It'll do you good."

But there was no reply.Raleigh had plunged head first into his state-room, which fortunately happened to be on the upper deck.The rest of the spirits repaired below to the saloon, where they were soon engaged in an animated discussion of such viands as the larder provided.

"This," said Dr.Johnson, from the head of the table, "is what I call comfort.I don't know that I am so anxious to recover the House-boat, after all."

"Nor I," said Socrates, "with a ship like this to go off cruising on, and with such a larder.Look at the thickness of that puree, Doctor--"

"Excuse me," said Boswell, faintly, "but I--I've left my note--bub--book upstairs, Doctor, and I'd like to go up and get it.""Certainly," said Dr.Johnson."I judge from your color, which is highly suggestive of a modern magazine poster, that it might be well too if you stayed on deck for a little while and made a few entries in your commonplace book.""Thank you," said Boswell, gratefully."Shall you say anything clever during dinner, sir? If so, I might be putting it down while I'm up--""Get out!" roared the Doctor."Get up as high as you can--get up with Shem on the mizzentop--""Very good, sir," replied Boswell, and he was off.

"You ought to be more lenient with him, Doctor," said Bonaparte; "he means well.""I know it," observed Johnson; "but he's so very previous.Last winter, at Chaucer's dinner to Burns, I made a speech, which Boswell printed a week before it was delivered, with the words 'laughter' and 'uproarious applause' interspersed through it.It placed me in a false position.""How did he know what you were going to say?" queried Demosthenes.

"Don't know," replied Johnson."Kind of mind-reader, I fancy," he added, blushing a trifle."But, Captain Holmes, what do you deduce from your observation of the wake of the House-boat? If she's going to Paris, why the change?""I have two theories," replied the detective.

"Which is always safe," said Le Coq.

"Always; it doubles your chances of success," acquiesced Holmes.

"Anyhow, it gives you a choice, which makes it more interesting.The change of her course from Londonward to Parisward proves to me either that Kidd is not satisfied with the extent of the revenge he has already taken, and wishes to ruin you gentlemen financially by turning your wives, daughters, and sisters loose on the Parisian shops, or that the pirates have themselves been overthrown by the ladies, who have decided to prolong their cruise and get some fun out of their misfortune.""And where else than to Paris would any one in search of pleasure go?" asked Bonaparte.

"I had more fun a few miles outside of Brussels," said Wellington, with a sly wink at Washington.

"Oh, let up on that!" retorted Bonaparte."It wasn't you beat me at Waterloo.You couldn't have beaten me at a plain ordinary game of old-maid with a stacked pack of cards, much less in the game of war, if you hadn't had the elements with you.""Tut!" snapped Wellington."It was clear science laid you out, Boney.""Taisey-voo!" shouted the irate Corsican."Clear science be hanged!