书城公版Sketches New and Old
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第42章

Nevertheless, on the basis of the double prices (and totally ignoring the clerk's assertion that the figures were manifestly and unquestionably a recent forgery), Mr.Floyd remarks in his new report that "the testimony, particularly in regard to the corn crops, DEMANDS A MUCH HIGHER ALLOWANCEthan any heretofore made by the Auditor or myself." So he estimates the crop at sixty bushels to the acre (double what Florida acres produce), and then virtuously allows pay for only half the crop, but allows two dollars and a half a bushel for that half, when there are rusty old books and documents in the Congressional library to show just what the Fisher testimony showed before the forgery--viz., that in the fall of 1813 corn was only worth from $1.25 to $1.50 a bushel.Having accomplished this, what does Mr.Floyd do next? Mr.Floyd ("with an earnest desire to execute truly the legislative will," as he piously remarks) goes to work and makes out an entirely new bill of Fisher damages, and in this new bill he placidly ignores the Indians altogether puts no particle of the destruction of the Fisher property upon them, but, even repenting him of charging them with burning the cabins and drinking the whisky and breaking the crockery, lays the entire damage at the door of the imbecile United States troops down to the very last item! And not only that, but uses the forgery to double the loss of corn at "Bassett's Creek," and uses it again to absolutely treble the loss of corn on the "Alabama River." This new and ably conceived and executed bill of Mr.Floyd's figures up as follows (I copy again from the printed United States Senate document):

The United States in account with the legal representatives of George Fisher, deceased.

DOL.C

1813.--To 550 head of cattle, at 10 dollars,.............5,500.00To 86 head of drove hogs,.........................1,204.00To 350 head of stock hogs,........................1,750.00To 100 ACRES OF CORN ON BASSETT'S CREEK,..........6,000.00To 8 barrels of whisky,...........................350.00To 2 barrels of brandy,...........................280.00To 1 barrel of rum,...............................70.00To dry-goods and merchandise in store,............1,100.00To 35 acres of wheat,.............................350.00To 2,000 hides,...................................4,000.00To furs and hats in store,........................600.00To crockery ware in store,........................100.00To smith's and carpenter's tools,.................250.00To houses burned and destroyed,...................600.00To 4 dozen bottles of wine,.......................48.001814.--To 120 acres of corn on Alabama River,............9,500.00To crops of peas, fodder, etc.....................3,250.00Total,..........................34,952.00To interest on $22,202, from July 1813

to November 1860, 47 years and 4 months,.......63,053.68To interest on $12,750, from September 1814 to November I86o, 46 years and 2 months,..35,317.50Total,........................133,323.18He puts everything in this time.He does not even allow that the Indians destroyed the crockery or drank the four dozen bottles of (currant) wine.

When it came to supernatural comprehensiveness in "gobbling," John B.

Floyd was without his equal, in his own or any other generation.

Subtracting from the above total the $67,000 already paid to George Fisher's implacable heirs, Mr.Floyd announced that the government was still indebted to them in the sum of sixty-six thousand five hundred and nineteen dollars and eighty-five cents, "which," Mr.Floyd complacently remarks, "will be paid, accordingly, to the administrator of the estate of George Fisher, deceased, or to his attorney in fact."But, sadly enough for the destitute orphans, a new President came in just at this time, Buchanan and Floyd went out, and they never got their money.The first thing Congress did in 1861 was to rescind the resolution of June 1, 1860, under which Mr.Floyd had been ciphering.

Then Floyd (and doubtless the heirs of George Fisher likewise) had to give up financial business for a while, and go into the Confederate army and serve their country.

Were the heirs of George Fisher killed? No.They are back now at this very time (July, 1870), beseeching Congress through that blushing and diffident creature, Garrett Davis, to commence ****** payments again on their interminable and insatiable bill of damages for corn and whisky destroyed by a gang of irresponsible Indians, so long ago that even government red-tape has failed to keep consistent and intelligent track of it.

Now the above are facts.They are history.Any one who doubts it can send to the Senate Document Department of the Capitol for H.R.Ex.Doc.

No.21, 36th Congress, 2d Session; and for S.Ex.Doc.No.106, 41st Congress, 2d Session, and satisfy himself.The whole case is set forth in the first volume of the Court of Claims Reports.

It is my belief that as long as the continent of America holds together, the heirs of George Fisher, deceased, will still make pilgrimages to Washington from the swamps of Florida, to plead for just a little more cash on their bill of damages (even when they received the last of that sixty-seven thousand dollars, they said it was only one fourth what the government owed them on that fruitful corn-field), and as long as they choose to come they will find Garrett Davises to drag their vampire schemes before Congress.This is not the only hereditary fraud (if fraud it is--which I have before repeatedly remarked is not proven) that is being quietly handed down from generation to generation of fathers and sons, through the persecuted Treasury of the United States.