Your father's heir must have your father's land.ROBERT Shall then my father's will be of no force To dispossess that child which is not his?BASTARD Of no more force to dispossess me,sir,Than was his will to get me,as I think.QUEEN ELINOR Whether hadst thou rather be a Faulcon bridge And like thy brother,to enjoy thy land,Or the reputed son of Coeur-de-lion,Lord of thy presence and no land beside?BASTARD Madam,an if my brother had my shape,And I had his,sir Robert's his,like him;And if my legs were two such riding-rods,My arms such eel-skins stuff'd,my face so thin That in mine ear I durst not stick a rose Lest men should say 'Look,where three-farthings goes!'
And,to his shape,were heir to all this land,Would I might never stir from off this place,I would give it every foot to have this face;I would not be sir Nob in any case.QUEEN ELINOR I like thee well:wilt thou forsake thy fortune,Bequeath thy land to him and follow me?
I am a soldier and now bound to France.BASTARD Brother,take you my land,I'll take my chance.
Your face hath got five hundred pound a year,Yet sell your face for five pence and 'tis dear.
Madam,I'll follow you unto the death.QUEEN ELINOR Nay,I would have you go before me thither.BASTARD Our country manners give our betters way.KING JOHN What is thy name?BASTARD Philip,my liege,so is my name begun,Philip,good old sir Robert's wife's eldest son.KING JOHN From henceforth bear his name whose form thou bear'st:
Kneel thou down Philip,but rise more great,Arise sir Richard and Plantagenet.BASTARD Brother by the mother's side,give me your hand:
My father gave me honour,yours gave land.
Now blessed by the hour,by night or day,When I was got,sir Robert was away!QUEEN ELINOR The very spirit of Plantagenet!
I am thy grandam,Richard;call me so.BASTARD Madam,by chance but not by truth;what though?
Something about,a little from the right,In at the window,or else o'er the hatch:
Who dares not stir by day must walk by night,And have is have,however men do catch:
Near or far off,well won is still well shot,And I am I,howe'er I was begot.KING JOHN Go,Faulconbridge:now hast thou thy desire;A landless knight makes thee a landed squire.
Come,madam,and come,Richard,we must speed For France,for France,for it is more than need.BASTARD Brother,adieu:good fortune come to thee!
For thou wast got i'the way of honesty.
Exeunt all but BASTARD
A foot of honour better than I was;
But many a many foot of land the worse.
Well,now can I make any Joan a lady.
'Good den,sir Richard!'--'God-a-mercy,fellow!'--And if his name be George,I'll call him Peter;For new-made honour doth forget men's names;
'Tis too respective and too sociable For your conversion.Now your traveller,He and his toothpick at my worship's mess,And when my knightly stomach is sufficed,Why then I suck my teeth and catechise My picked man of countries:'My dear sir,'
Thus,leaning on mine elbow,I begin,'I shall beseech you'--that is question now;And then comes answer like an Absey book:
'O sir,'says answer,'at your best command;
At your employment;at your service,sir;'
'No,sir,'says question,'I,sweet sir,at yours:'
And so,ere answer knows what question would,Saving in dialogue of compliment,And talking of the Alps and Apennines,The Pyrenean and the river Po,It draws toward supper in conclusion so.