TREATS OF DIVERS LITTLE MATTERS WHICH OCCURRED INTHE FLEET, AND OF MR.WINKLE'S MYSTERIOUS BEHAVIOUR; AND SHOWS HOW THEPOOR CHANCERY PRISONER OBTAINED HIS RELEASE AT LASTM R.P ICKWICK felt a great deal too much touched by the warmth of Sam's attachment, to be able to exhibit any manifestation of anger or displeasure at the precipitate course he had adopted, in voluntarily consigning himself to a debtors' prison, for an indefinite period.The only point on which he persevered in demanding any explanation, was, the name of Sam's detaining creditor; but this Mr.
Weller as perseveringly withheld.
"It ain't o' no use, sir," said Sam, again and again."He's a ma-licious, bad-disposed, vorldly-minded, spiteful, windictive creetur, with a hard heart as there ain't no soft'nin.As the wirtuous clergyman remarked of the old gen'l'm'n with the dropsy, ven he said, that upon the whole he thought he'd rayther leave his property to his vife than build a chapel vith it.""But consider, Sam," Mr.Pickwick remonstrated, "the sum is so small that it can very easily be paid; and having made up my mind that you shall stop with me, you should recollect how much more useful you would be, if you could go outside the walls.""Wery much obliged to you, sir," replied Mr.Weller gravely; "but I'd rayther not.""Rather not do what, Sam?"
"Wy, I'd rayther not let myself down to ask a favour o' this here unremorseful enemy.""But it is no favour asking him to take his money, Sam," reasoned Mr.
Pickwick.
"Beg your pardon, sir," rejoined Sam; "but it 'ud be a wery great favour to pay it, and he don't deserve none; that's where it is, sir."Here Mr.Pickwick rubbing his nose with an air of some vexation, Mr.
Weller thought it prudent to change the theme of the discourse.
"I takes my determination on principle, sir," remarked Sam, "and you takes yours on the same ground; wich puts me in mind o' the man as killed his-self on principle, wich o' course you've heerd on, sir." Mr.Weller paused when he arrived at this point, and cast a comical look at his master out of the corners of his eyes.
"There is no `of course' in the case, Sam," said Mr.Pickwick, gradually breaking into a smile, in spite of the uneasiness which Sam's obstinacy had given him."The fame of the gentleman in question, never reached my ears.""No, sir!" exclaimed Mr.Weller."You astonish me, sir; he wos a clerk in a gov'ment office, sir.""Was he?" said Mr.Pickwick.
"Yes, he wos, sir," rejoined Mr.Weller; "and a wery pleasant gen'l'm'n too--one o' the precise and tidy sort, as puts their feet in little India-rubber fire-buckets wen it's wet weather, and never has no other bosom friends but hare-skins; he saved up his money on principle, wore a clean shirt ev'ry day on principle; never spoke to none of his relations on principle, 'fear they shou'd want to borrow money of him; and wos altogether, in fact, an uncommon agreeable character.He had his hair cut on principle vunce a fortnight, and contracted for his clothes on the economic principle--three suits a year, and send back the old uns.Being a wery reg'lar gen'l'm'n, he din'd ev'ry day at the same place, where it wos one and nine to cut off the joint, and a wery good one and nine's worth he used to cut, as the landlord often said, with the tears a tricklin' down his face: let alone the way he used to poke the fire in the vinter time, which wos a dead loss o' four-pence ha'penny a day: to say nothin' at all o' the aggrawation o' seein' him do it.So uncommon grand with it too! `Post arter the next gen'l'm'n,' he sings out ev'ry day ven he comes in.`See arter the Times, Thomas; let me look at the Mornin' Herald, wen it's out o' hand; don't forget to bespeak the Chronicle; and just bring the 'Tizer, vill you:'
and then he'd set vith his eyes fixed on the clock, and rush out, just a quarter of a minit afore the time, to waylay the boy as wos a comin'
in with the evenin' paper, wich he'd read with sich intense interest and persewerance as worked the other customers up to the wery confines o' desperation and insanity, 'specially one i-rascible old gen'l'm'n as the vaiter wos always obliged to keep a sharp eye on, at sich times, fear he should be tempted to commit some rash act with the carving knife.Vell, sir, here he'd stop, occupyin' the best place for three hours, and never takin' nothin'
arter his dinner, but sleep, and then he'd go away to a coffee-house a few streets off, and have a small pot o' coffee and four crumpets, arter wich he'd walk home to Kensington and go to bed.One night he wos took very ill; sends for a doctor; doctor comes in a green fly, with a kind o' Robinson Crusoe set o' steps, as he could let down wen he got out, and pull up arter him wen he got in, to perwent the necessity o' the coachman's gettin' down, and thereby undeceivin' the public by lettin' 'em see that it wos only a livery coat as he'd got on, and not the trousers to match.
`Wot's the matter?' says the doctor.`Wery ill,' says the patient.`Wot have you been a eatin' on?' says the doctor.`Roast weal,' says the patient.
`Wot's the last thing you dewoured?' says the doctor.`Crumpets,' says the patient.`That's it!' says the doctor.`I'll send you a box of pills directly, and don't you never take no more of 'em,' he says.`No more o'
wot?' says the patient--`Pills?' `No; crumpets,' says the doctor.`Wy?'
says the patient, starting up in bed; `I've eat four crumpets, ev'ry night for fifteen year, on principle.' `Well, then, you'd better leave 'em off, on principle,' says the doctor.`Crumpets is wholesome, sir,' says the patient.`Crumpets is not wholesome, sir,' says the doctor, wery fierce.`But they're so cheap,' says the patient, comin' down a little, `and so wery fillin' at the price.' `They'd be dear to you, at any price;dear if you wos paid to eat 'em,' says the doctor.`Four crumpets a night,'