DESCRIBES, FAR MORE FULLY THAN THE COURT NEWSMANEVER DID, A BACHELOR'S PARTY, GIVEN BY MR.BOB SAWYER AT HIS LODGINGS INTHE BOROUGH
T HERE is a repose about Lant Street, in the Borough, which sheds a gentle melancholy upon the soul.There are always a good many houses to let in the street: it is a bye-street too, and its dulness is soothing.A house in Lant Street would not come within the denomination of a first-rate residence, in the strict acceptation of the term; but it is a most desirable spot nevertheless.If a man wished to abstract himself from the world--to remove himself from within the reach of temptation--to place himself beyond the possibility of any inducement to look out of the window--he should by all means go to Lant Street.
In this happy retreat are colonised a few clear-starchers, a sprinkling of journeymen bookbinders, one or two prison agents for the Insolvent Court, several small housekeepers who are employed in the Docks, a handful of mantua-makers, and a seasoning of jobbing tailors.The majority of the inhabitants either direct their energies to the letting of furnished apartments, or devote themselves to the healthful and invigorating pursuit of mangling.
The chief features in the still life of the street are green shutters, lodging-bills, brass door-plates, and bell-handles; the principal specimens of animated nature, the pot-boy, the muffin youth, and the baked-potato man.The population is migratory, usually disappearing on the verge of quarter-day, and generally by night.His Majesty's revenues are seldom collected in this happy valley; the rents are dubious; and the water communication is very frequently cut off.
Mr.Bob Sawyer embellished one side of the fire, in his first-floor front, early on the evening for which he had invited Mr.Pickwick; and Mr.Ben Allen the other.The preparations for the reception of visitors appeared to be completed.The umbrellas in the passage had been heaped into the little corner outside the back-parlour door; the bonnet and shawl of the landlady's servant had been removed from the bannisters; there were not more than two pairs of pattens on the street-door mat, and a kitchen candle, with a very long snuff, burnt cheerfully on the ledge of the staircase window.Mr.Bob Sawyer had himself purchased the spirits at a wine vaults in High Street, and had returned home preceding the bearer thereof, to preclude the possibility of their delivery at the wrong house.The punch was ready made in a red pan in the bed-room; a little table, covered with a green baize cloth, had been borrowed from the parlour, to play at cards on; and the glasses of the establishment, together with those which had been borrowed for the occasion from the public-house, were all drawn up in a tray, which was deposited on the landing outside the door.
Notwithstanding the highly satisfactory nature of all these arrangements, there was a cloud on the countenance of Mr.Bob Sawyer, as he sat by the fireside.There was a sympathising expression, too, in the features of Mr.Ben Allen, as he gazed intently on the coals; and a tone of melancholy in his voice, as he said, after a long silence:
"Well, it is unlucky she should have taken it in her head to turn sour, just on this occasion.She might at least have waited till to-morrow.""That's her malevolence, that's her malevolence," returned Mr.Bob Sawyer, vehemently."She says that if I can afford to give a party I ought to be able to pay her confounded `little bill.'""How long has it been running?" inquired Mr.Ben Allen.A bill, by the bye, is the most extraordinary locomotive engine that the genius of man ever produced.It would keep on running during the longest lifetime, without ever once stopping of its own accord.
"Only a quarter, and a month or so," replied Mr.Bob Sawyer.
Ben Allen coughed hopelessly, and directed a searching look between the two top bars of the stove.
"It'll be a deuced unpleasant thing if she takes it into her head to let out, when those fellows are here, won't it?" said Mr.Ben Allen at length.
"Horrible," replied Bob Sawyer, "horrible."A low tap was heard at the room door.Mr.Bob Sawyer looked expressively at his friend, and bade the tapper come in; whereupon a dirty slipshod girl in black cotton stockings, who might have passed for the neglected daughter of a superannuated dustman in very reduced circumstances, thrust in her head, and said, "Please, Mister Sawyer, Missis Raddle wants to speak to you."Before Mr.Bob Sawyer could return any answer, the girl suddenly disappeared with a jerk, as if somebody had given her a violent pull behind; this mysterious exit was no sooner accomplished, than there was another tap at the door--a smart pointed tap, which seemed to say, "Here I am, and in I'm coming."Mr.Bob Sawyer glanced at his friend with a look of abject apprehension, and once more cried "Come in."The permission was not at all necessary, for, before Mr.Bob Sawyer had uttered the words, a little fierce woman bounced into the room, all in a tremble with passion, and pale with rage.
"Now, Mr.Sawyer," said the little fierce woman, trying to appear very calm, "if you'll have the kindness to settle that little bill of mine I'll thank you, because I've got my rent to pay this afternoon, and my landlord's a waiting below now." Here the little woman rubbed her hands, and looked steadily over Mr.Bob Sawyer's head, at the wall behind him.
"I am very sorry to put you to any inconvenience, Mrs.Raddle," said Bob Sawyer, deferentially, "but--""Oh, it isn't any inconvenience," replied the little woman, with a shrill titter."I didn't want it particular before today; leastways, as it has to go to my landlord directly, it was as well for you to keep it as me.