Tell me some particulars.Why are you in grief--what is your secret--why are you here? I declare solemnly that nothing you have said has daunted me in my wish to become Lucy's husband; nor will I shrink from any difficulty that, as such an aspirant, I may have to encounter.You say you are friendless--why cast away an honest friend? I will tell you of people to whom you may write, and who will answer any questions as to my character and prospects.I do not shun inquiry."She shook her head again."You had better go away, sir.You know nothing about us.""I know your names," said I, "and I have heard you allude to the part of the country from which you came, which I happen to know as a wild and lonely place.There are so few people living in it that, if Ichose to go there, I could easily ascertain all about you; but Iwould rather hear it from yourself." You see I wanted to pique her into telling me something definite.
"You do not know our true names, sir," said she, hastily.
"Well, I may have conjectured as much.But tell me, then, I conjure you.Give me your reasons for distrusting my willingness to stand by what I have said with regard to Mistress Lucy.""Oh, what can I do?" exclaimed she."If I am turning away a true friend, as he says?--Stay!" coming to a sudden decision--" I will tell you something--I cannot tell you all--you would not believe it.
But, perhaps, I can tell you enough to prevent your going on in your hopeless attachment.I am not Lucy's mother.""So I conjectured," I said."Go on."
"I do not even know whether she is the legitimate or illegitimate child of her father.But he is cruelly turned against her; and her mother is long dead; and for a terrible reason, she has no other creature to keep constant to her but me.She--only two years ago--such a darling and such a pride in her father's house! Why, sir, there is a mystery that might happen in connection with her any moment; and then you would go away like all the rest; and, when you next heard her name, you would loathe her.Others, who have loved her longer, have done so before now.My poor child! whom neither God nor man has mercy upon--or, surely, she would die!"The good woman was stopped by her crying.I confess, I was a little stunned by her last words; but only for a moment.At any rate, till I knew definitely what was this mysterious stain upon one so ****** and pure, as Lucy seemed, I would not desert her, and so I said; and she made me answer:-"If you are daring in your heart to think harm of my child, sir, after knowing her as you have done, you are no good man yourself; but I am so foolish and helpless in my great sorrow, that I would fain hope to find a friend in you.I cannot help trusting that, although you may no longer feel toward her as a lover, you will have pity upon us; and perhaps, by your learning you can tell us where to go for aid.""I implore you to tell me what this mystery is," I cried, almost maddened by this suspense.
"I cannot," said she, solemnly."I am under a deep vow of secrecy.
If you are to be told, it must be by her." She left the room, and Iremained to ponder over this strange interview.I mechanically turned over the few books, and with eyes that saw nothing at the time, examined the tokens of Lucy's frequent presence in that room.
When I got home at night, I remembered how all these trifles spoke of a pure and tender heart and innocent life.Mistress Clarke returned;she had been crying sadly.
"Yes," said she, "it is as I feared: she loves you so much that she is willing to run the fearful risk of telling you all herself--she acknowledges it is but a poor chance; but your sympathy will be a balm, if you give it.To-morrow, come here at ten in the morning;and, as you hope for pity in your hour of agony, repress all show of fear or repugnance you may feel towards one so grievously afflicted."I half smiled."Have no fear," I said.It seemed too absurd to imagine my feeling dislike to Lucy.
"Her father loved her well," said she, gravely, "yet he drove her out like some monstrous thing."Just at this moment came a peal of ringing laughter from the garden.
It was Lucy's voice; it sounded as if she were standing just on one side of the open casement--and as though she were suddenly stirred to merriment--merriment verging on boisterousness, by the doings or sayings of some other person.I can scarcely say why, but the sound jarred on me inexpressibly.She knew the subject of our conversation, and must have been at least aware of the state of agitation her friend was in; she herself usually so gentle and quiet.
I half rose to go to the window, and satisfy my instinctive curiosity as to what had provoked this burst of, ill-timed laughter; but Mrs.
Clarke threw her whole weight and power upon the hand with which she pressed and kept me down.
"For God's sake!" she said, white and trembling all over, "sit still;be quiet.Oh! be patient.To-morrow you will know all.Leave us, for we are all sorely afflicted.Do not seek to know more about us."Again that laugh--so musical in sound, yet so discordant to my heart.
She held me tight--tighter; without positive violence I could not have risen.I was sitting with my back to the window, but I felt a shadow pass between the sun's warmth and me, and a strange shudder ran through my frame.In a minute or two she released me.
"Go," repeated she."Be warned, I ask you once more.I do not think you can stand this knowledge that you seek.If I had had my own way, Lucy should never have yielded, and promised to tell you all.Who knows what may come of it?""I am firm in my wish to know all.I return at ten tomorrow morning, and then expect to see Mistress Lucy herself."I turned away; having my own suspicions, I confess, as to Mistress Clarke's sanity.