VALERE, MARIANE, DORINE
VALERE Madam, a piece of news--quite new to me-- Has just come out, and very fine it is.
MARIANE What piece of news? VALERE Your marriage with Tartuffe.
MARIANE 'Tis true my father has this plan in mind.VALERE Your father, madam...
MARIANE Yes, he's changed his plans, And did but now propose it tome.
VALERE What! Seriously?
MARIANE Yes, he was serious, And openly insisted on the match.VALERE And what's your resolution in the matter, Madam? MARIANE I don't know.
VALERE That's a pretty answer.You don't know? MARIANE No.
VALERE No?
MARIANE What do you advise?
VALERE I? My advice is, marry him, by all means.MARIANE That's your advice?
VALERE Yes.
MARIANE Do you mean it?
VALERE Surely.A splendid choice, and worthy of your acceptance.MARIANE Oh, very well, sir! I shall take your counsel.
VALERE You'll find no trouble taking it, I warrant.MARIANE No more than you did giving it, be sure.VALERE I gave it, truly, to oblige you, madam.MARIANE And I shall take it to oblige you, sir.
Dorine (withdrawing to the back of the stage) Let's see what this affairwill come to.
VALERE So, That is your love? And it was all deceit When you...
MARIANE I beg you, say no more of that.You told me, squarely, sir, I should accept The husband that is offered me; and I Will tell you squarely that I mean to do so, Since you have given me this good advice.
VALERE Don't shield yourself with talk of my advice.You had your mind made up, that's evident; And now you're snatching at a trifling pretext To justify the breaking of your word.
MARIANE Exactly so.
VALERE Of course it is; your heart Has never known true love for me.MARIANE Alas! You're free to think so, if you please.
VALERE Yes, yes, I'm free to think so; and my outraged love May yet forestall you in your perfidy, And offer elsewhere both my heart and hand.
MARIANE No doubt of it; the love your high deserts May win...
VALERE Good Lord, have done with my deserts! I know I have but few, and you have proved it.But I may find more kindness in another; I know of someone, who'll not be ashamed To take your leavings, and make up my loss.
MARIANE The loss is not so great; you'll easily Console yourself completely for this change.
VALERE I'll try my best, that you may well believe.When we're forgotten by a woman's heart, Our pride is challenged; we, too, must forget; Or if we cannot, must at least pretend to.No other way can man such baseness prove, As be a lover scorned, and still in love.
MARIANE In faith, a high and noble sentiment.
VALERE Yes; and it's one that all men must approve.What! Would you have me keep my love alive, And see you fly into another's arms Before my very eyes; and never offer To someone else the heart that you had scorned?
MARIANE Oh, no, indeed! For my part, I could wish That it were done already.VALERE What! You wish it?
MARIANE Yes.
VALERE This is insult heaped on injury; I'll go at once and do as you desire.
(He takes a step or two as if to go away.) MARIANE Oh, very well then.
VALERE (turning back) But remember this.'Twas you that drove me to this desperate pass.
MARIANE Of course.
VALERE (turning back again) And in the plan that I have formed I only follow your example.
MARIANE Yes.
VALERE (at the door) Enough; you shall be punctually obeyed.MARIANE So much the better.
VALERE (coming back again) This is once for all.MARIANE So be it, then.
VALERE (He goes toward the door, but just as he reaches it, turns around) Eh?
MARIANE What?
VALERE You didn't call me? MARIANE I? You are dreaming.
VALERE Very well, I'm gone.Madam, farewell.(He walks slowly away.)MARIANE Farewell, sir.
DORINE I must say You've lost your senses and both gone clean daft! I've let you fight it out to the end o' the chapter To see how far the thing could go.Oho, there, Mister Valere!