And to think of that stupid little fellow making all this mischief He pretended to take it to heart, as if he had loved me for years instead of only for days.I daresay only for hours if the truth were told.' 'I was afraid he was becoming very fond of you,' said Molly; Cat least it struck me once or twice; but I knew he could not stay long, and I thought it would only make you uncomfortable if I said anything about it.But now I wish I had!' 'It would not have made a bit of difference,' replied Cynthia.'I knew he liked me, and I like to be liked; it's born in me to try to make every one I come near fond of me; but then they should not carry it too far, for it becomes very troublesome if they do.I shall hate red-haired people for the rest of my life.To think of such a man as that being the cause of your father's displeasure with me!' Molly had a question at her tongue's end that she longed to put; she knew it was indiscreet, but at last out it came almost against her will.'Shall you tell Roger about it?' Cynthia replied, 'I have not thought about it - no! I don't think I shall - there's no need.Perhaps, if we are ever married -- ' 'Ever married!' said Molly, under her breath.But Cynthia took no notice of the exclamation until she had finished the sentence which it interrupted.' -- and I can see his face, and know his mood, I may tell it him then;but not in writing, and when he is absent; it might annoy him.' 'I am afraid it would make him uncomfortable,' said Molly, simply.'And yet it must be so pleasant to be able to tell him everything - all your difficulties and troubles.' 'Yes; only I don't worry him with these things; it is better to write him merry letters, and cheer him up among the black folk.You repeated "Ever married," a little while ago; do you know, Molly, I don't think I ever shall be married to him? I don't know why, but I have a strong presentiment, so it's just as well not to tell him all my secrets, for it would be awkward for him to know them if it never came off!' Molly dropped her work, and sate silent, looking into the future; at length she said, 'I think it would break his heart, Cynthia!' 'Nonsense.Why, I am sure that Mr Coxe came here with the intention of falling in love with you - you need not blush so violently.I am sure you saw it as plainly as I did, only you made yourself disagreeable, and Itook pity on him, and consoled his wounded vanity.' 'Can you - do you dare to compare Roger Hamley to Mr Coxe?' asked Molly, indignantly.'No, no, I don't!' said Cynthia in a moment.'They are as different as men can be.Don't be so dreadfully serious over everything, Molly.You look as oppressed with sad reproach, as if I had been passing on to you the scolding your father gave me.' 'Because I don't think you value Roger as you ought, Cynthia!' said Molly stoutly, for it required a good deal of courage to force herself to say this, although she could not tell why she shrank so from speaking.'Yes, I do! It's not in my nature to go into ecstasies, and I don't suppose I shall ever be what people call "in love." But I am glad he loves me, and I like to make him happy, and I think him the best and most agreeable man I know, always excepting your father when he is not angry with me.
What can I say more, Molly? would you like me to say I think him handsome?' 'I know most people think him plain, but -- ' 'Well, I'm of the opinion of most people then, and small blame to them.
But I like his face - oh, ten thousand times better than Mr Preston's handsomeness!'
For the first time during the conversation Cynthia seemed thoroughly in earnest.Why Mr Preston was introduced neither she nor Molly knew; it came up and out by a sudden impulse; but a fierce look came into the eyes, and the soft lips contracted themselves as Cynthia named his name.Molly had noticed this look before, always at the mention of this one person.'Cynthia, what makes you dislike Mr Preston so much?' 'Don't you? Why do you ask me? and yet, Molly,' said she, suddenly relaxing into depression, not merely in tone and look, but in the droop of her limbs - 'Molly, what should you think of me if I married him after all?' 'Married him! Has he ever asked you?' But Cynthia, instead of replying to this question, went on, uttering her own thoughts, - 'More unlikely things have happened.Have you never heard of strong wills mesmerizing weaker ones into submission? One of the girls at Madame Lefevre's went out as a governess to a Russian family, who lived near Moscow.I sometimes think I'll write to her to get me a situation in Russia, just to get out of the daily chance of seeing that man!' 'But sometimes you seem quite intimate with him, and talk to him -- ' 'How can I help it?' said Cynthia impatiently.Then recovering herself she added: 'We knew him so well at Ashcombe, and he's not a man to be easily thrown off, I can tell you.I must be civil to him; it's not from liking, and he knows it is not, for I've told him so.However, we won't talk about him.I don't know how we came to do it, I'm sure: the mere fact of his existence, and of his being within half a mile of us, is bad enough.Oh!
I wish Roger was at home, and rich, and could marry me at once, and carry me away from that man! If I'd thought of it, I really believe I would have taken poor red-haired Mr Coxe.' 'I don't understand it at all,' said Molly.'I dislike Mr Preston, but I should never think of taking such violent steps as you speak of, to get away from the neighbourhood in which he lives.' 'No, because you are a reasonable little darling,' said Cynthia, resuming her usual manner, and coming up to Molly, and kissing her.'At least you'll acknowledge I'm a good hater!' 'Yes.But still I don't understand it.' 'Oh, never mind! There are old complications with our affairs at Ashcombe.
Money matters are at the root of it all.Horrid poverty - do let us talk of something else! Or, better still, let me go and finish my letter to Roger, or I shall be too late for the African mail!' 'Is it not gone? Oh, I ought to have reminded you! It will be too late.