On the following day, however, he sought an opportunity of declaring the purport of his visit, and renewed his suit; a declaration, which was received with real concern by Emily, who endeavoured to lessen the pain she might inflict by a second rejection, with assurances of esteem and friendship; yet she left him in a state of mind, that claimed and excited her tenderest compassion; and, being more sensible than ever of the impropriety of remaining longer at the chateau, she immediately sought the Count, and communicated to him her intention of returning to the convent.
'My dear Emily,' said he 'I observe, with extreme concern, the illusion you are encouraging--an illusion common to young and sensible minds.Your heart has received a severe shock; you believe you can never entirely recover it, and you will encourage this belief, till the habit of indulging sorrow will subdue the strength of your mind, and discolour your future views with melancholy and regret.Let me dissipate this illusion, and awaken you to a sense of your danger.'
Emily smiled mournfully, 'I know what you would say, my dear sir,'
said she, 'and am prepared to answer you.I feel, that my heart can never know a second affection; and that I must never hope even to recover its tranquillity--if I suffer myself to enter into a second engagement.'
'I know, that you feel all this,' replied the Count; 'and I know, also, that time will overcome these feelings, unless you cherish them in solitude, and, pardon me, with romantic tenderness.Then, indeed, time will only confirm habit.I am particularly empowered to speak on this subject, and to sympathize in your sufferings,' added the Count, with an air of solemnity, 'for I have known what it is to love, and to lament the object of my love.Yes,' continued he, while his eyes filled with tears, 'I have suffered!--but those times have passed away--long passed! and I can now look back upon them without emotion.'
'My dear sir,' said Emily, timidly, 'what mean those tears?--they speak, I fear, another language--they plead for me.'
'They are weak tears, for they are useless ones,' replied the Count, drying them, 'I would have you superior to such weakness.These, however, are only faint traces of a grief, which, if it had not been opposed by long continued effort, might have led me to the verge of madness! Judge, then, whether I have not cause to warn you of an indulgence, which may produce so terrible an effect, and which must certainly, if not opposed, overcloud the years, that otherwise might be happy.M.Du Pont is a sensible and amiable man, who has long been tenderly attached to you; his family and fortune are unexceptionable;--after what I have said, it is unnecessary to add, that I should rejoice in your felicity, and that I think M.Du Pont would promote it.Do not weep, Emily,' continued the Count, taking her hand, 'there IS happiness reserved for you.'
He was silent a moment; and then added, in a firmer voice, 'I do not wish, that you should make a violent effort to overcome your feelings; all I, at present, ask, is, that you will check the thoughts, that would lead you to a remembrance of the past; that you will suffer your mind to be engaged by present objects; that you will allow yourself to believe it possible you may yet be happy; and that you will sometimes think with complacency of poor Du Pont, and not condemn him to the state of despondency, from which, my dear Emily, Iam endeavouring to withdraw you.'
'Ah! my dear sir,' said Emily, while her tears still fell, 'do not suffer the benevolence of your wishes to mislead Mons.Du Pont with an expectation that I can ever accept his hand.If I understand my own heart, this never can be; your instruction I can obey in almost every other particular, than that of adopting a contrary belief.'
'Leave me to understand your heart,' replied the Count, with a faint smile.'If you pay me the compliment to be guided by my advice in other instances, I will pardon your incredulity, respecting your future conduct towards Mons.Du Pont.I will not even press you to remain longer at the chateau than your own satisfaction will permit;but though I forbear to oppose your present retirement, I shall urge the claims of friendship for your future visits.'
Tears of gratitude mingled with those of tender regret, while Emily thanked the Count for the many instances of friendship she had received from him; promised to be directed by his advice upon every subject but one, and assured him of the pleasure, with which she should, at some future period, accept the invitation of the Countess and himself--If Mons.Du Pont was not at the chateau.
The Count smiled at this condition.'Be it so,' said he, 'meanwhile the convent is so near the chateau, that my daughter and I shall often visit you; and if, sometimes, we should dare to bring you another visitor--will you forgive us?'
Emily looked distressed, and remained silent.
'Well,' rejoined the Count, 'I will pursue this subject no further, and must now entreat your forgiveness for having pressed it thus far.
You will, however, do me the justice to believe, that I have been urged only by a sincere regard for your happiness, and that of my amiable friend Mons.Du Pont.'