书城公版VANITY FAIR
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第54章

He was a little wild: how many young men are; and don't girls like a rake better than a milksop? He hadn't sown his wild oats as yet, but he would soon: and quit the army now that peace was proclaimed; the Corsican monster locked up at Elba; promotion by consequence over; and no chance left for the display of his undoubted military talents and valour: and his allowance, with Amelia's settlement, would enable them to take a snug place in the country somewhere, in a good sporting neighbourhood; and he would hunt a little, and farm a little; and they would be very happy.As for remaining in the army as a married man, that was impossible.

Fancy Mrs.George Osborne in lodgings in a county town; or, worse still, in the East or West Indies, with a society of officers, and patronized by Mrs.Major O'Dowd!

Amelia died with laughing at Osborne's stories about Mrs.Major O'Dowd.He loved her much too fondly to subject her to that horrid woman and her vulgarities, and the rough treatment of a soldier's wife.He didn't care for himself--not he; but his dear little girl should take the place in society to which, as his wife, she was entitled: and to these proposals you may be sure she acceded, as she would to any other from the same author.

Holding this kind of conversation, and building numberless castles in the air (which Amelia adorned with all sorts of flower-gardens, rustic walks, country churches, Sunday schools, and the like; while George had his mind's eye directed to the stables, the kennel, and the cellar), this young pair passed away a couple of hours very pleasantly; and as the Lieutenant had only that single day in town, and a great deal of most important business to transact, it was proposed that Miss Emmy should dine with her future sisters-in-law.This invitation was accepted joyfully.He conducted her to his sisters; where he left her talking and prattling in a way that astonished those ladies, who thought that George might make something of her; and he then went off to transact his business.

In a word, he went out and ate ices at a pastry-cook's shop in Charing Cross; tried a new coat in Pall Mall;dropped in at the Old Slaughters', and called for Captain Cannon; played eleven games at billiards with the Captain, of which he won eight, and returned to Russell Square half an hour late for dinner, but in very good humour.

It was not so with old Mr.Osborne.When that gentleman came from the City, and was welcomed in the drawing-room by his daughters and the elegant Miss Wirt, they saw at once by his face--which was puffy, solemn, and yellow at the best of times--and by the scowl and twitching of his black eyebrows, that the heart within his large white waistcoat was disturbed and uneasy.When Amelia stepped forward to salute him, which she always did with great trembling and timidity, he gave a surly grunt of recognition, and dropped the little hand out of his great hirsute paw without any attempt to hold it there.He looked round gloomily at his eldest daughter;who, comprehending the meaning of his look, which asked unmistakably, "Why the devil is she here?" said at once:

"George is in town, Papa; and has gone to the Horse Guards, and will be back to dinner.""O he is, is he? I won't have the dinner kept waiting for him, Jane"; with which this worthy man lapsed into his particular chair, and then the utter silence in his genteel, well-furnished drawing-room was only interrupted by the alarmed ticking of the great French clock.

When that chronometer, which was surmounted by a cheerful brass group of the sacrifice of Iphigenia, tolled five in a heavy cathedral tone, Mr.Osborne pulled the bell at his right hand-violently, and the butler rushed up.

"Dinner!" roared Mr.Osborne.

"Mr.George isn't come in, sir," interposed the man.

"Damn Mr.George, sir.Am I master of the house?

DINNER!~ Mr.Osborne scowled.Amelia trembled.Atelegraphic communication of eyes passed between the other three ladies.The obedient bell in the lower regions began ringing the announcement of the meal.The tolling over, the head of the family thrust his hands into the great tail-pockets of his great blue coat with brass buttons, and without waiting for a further announcement strode downstairs alone, scowling over his shoulder at the four females.

"What's the matter now, my dear?" asked one of the other, as they rose and tripped gingerly behind the sire.

"I suppose the funds are falling," whispered Miss Wirt;and so, trembling and in silence, this hushed female company followed their dark leader.They took their places in silence.He growled out a blessing, which sounded as gruffly as a curse.The great silver dish-covers were removed.Amelia trembled in her place, for she was next to the awful Osborne, and alone on her side of the table --the gap being occasioned by the absence of George.

"Soup?" says Mr.Osborne, clutching the ladle, fixing his eyes on her, in a sepulchral tone; and having helped her and the rest, did not speak for a while.

"Take Miss Sedley's plate away," at last he said."She can't eat the soup--no more can I.It's beastly.Take away the soup, Hicks, and to-morrow turn the cook out of the house, Jane."Having concluded his observations upon the soup, Mr.

Osborne made a few curt remarks respecting the fish, also of a savage and satirical tendency, and cursed Billingsgate with an emphasis quite worthy of the place.

Then he lapsed into silence, and swallowed sundry glasses of wine, looking more and more terrible, till a brisk knock at the door told of George's arrival when everybody began to rally.

"He could not come before.General Daguilet had kept him waiting at the Horse Guards.Never mind soup or fish.Give him anything--he didn't care what.Capital mutton--capital everything." His good humour contrasted with his father's severity; and he rattled on unceasingly during dinner, to the delight of all--of one especially, who need not be mentioned.