"Do you, Amelia?" cried the Major.The fact was, as he had bought it himself, though he never said anything about it, it never entered into his head to suppose that Emmy should think anybody else was the purchaser, and as a matter of course he fancied that she knew the gift came from him."Do you, Amelia?" he said; and the question, the great question of all, was trembling on his lips, when Emmy replied--"Can I do otherwise?--did not he give it me?""I did not know," said poor old Dob, and his countenance fell.
Emmy did not note the circumstance at the time, nor take immediate heed of the very dismal expression which honest Dobbin's countenance assumed, but she thought of it afterwards.And then it struck her, with inexpressible pain and mortification too, that it was William who was the giver of the piano, and not George, as she had fancied.It was not George's gift; the only one which she had received from her lover, as she thought--the thing she had cherished beyond all others--her dearest relic and prize.She had spoken to it about George; played his favourite airs upon it; sat for long evening hours, touching, to the best of her simple art, melancholy harmonies on the keys, and weeping over them in silence.
It was not George's relic.It was valueless now.The next time that old Sedley asked her to play, she said it was shockingly out of tune, that she had a headache, that she couldn't play.
Then, according to her custom, she rebuked herself for her pettishness and ingratitude and determined to make a reparation to honest William for the slight she had not expressed to him, but had felt for his piano.
A few days afterwards, as they were seated in the drawing-room, where Jos had fallen asleep with great comfort after dinner, Amelia said with rather a faltering voice to Major Dobbin--"I have to beg your pardon for something.""About what?" said he.
"About--about that little square piano.I never thanked you for it when you gave it me, many, many years ago, before I was married.I thought somebody else had given it.Thank you, William." She held out her hand, but the poor little woman's heart was bleeding; and as for her eyes, of course they were at their work.
But William could hold no more."Amelia, Amelia,"he said, "I did buy it for you.I loved you then as Ido now.I must tell you.I think I loved you from the first minute that I saw you, when George brought me to your house, to show me the Amelia whom he was engaged to.You were but a girl, in white, with large ringlets; you came down singing--do you remember?--and we went to Vauxhall.Since then I have thought of but one woman in the world, and that was you.Ithink there is no hour in the day has passed for twelve years that I haven't thought of you.I came to tell you this before I went to India, but you did not care, and I hadn't the heart to speak.You did not care whether I stayed or went.""I was very ungrateful," Amelia said.
"No, only indifferent," Dobbin continued desperately.
"I have nothing to make a woman to be otherwise.Iknow what you are feeling now.You are hurt in your heart at the discovery about the piano, and that it came from me and not from George.I forgot, or I should never have spoken of it so.It is for me to ask your pardon for being a fool for a moment, and thinking that years of constancy and devotion might have pleaded with you.""It is you who are cruel now," Amelia said with some spirit."George is my husband, here and in heaven.How could I love any other but him? I am his now as when you first saw me, dear William.It was he who told me how good and generous you were, and who taught me to love you as a brother.Have you not been everything to me and my boy? Our dearest, truest, kindest friend and protector? Had you come a few months sooner perhaps you might have spared me that--that dreadful parting.Oh, it nearly killed me, William--but you didn't come, though I wished and prayed for you to come, and they took him too away from me.Isn't he a noble boy, William? Be his friend still and mine"--and here her voice broke, and she hid her face on his shoulder.
The Major folded his arms round her, holding her to him as if she was a child, and kissed her head."I will not change, dear Amelia," he said."I ask for no more than your love.I think I would not have it otherwise.
Only let me stay near you and see you often.""Yes, often," Amelia said.And so William was at liberty to look and long--as the poor boy at school who has no money may sigh after the contents of the tart-woman's tray.