He explained that two years went by before he saw Mary again. He was then seventeen years old and about to leave for Nairobi to attend the schoolteachers college. They spoke for a long time. He wanted to ask where she stayed so that he would not lose her again, but he admitted that his ego got in the way. Instead, he decided to give her his address in Nairobi feeling that if she really liked him she would write.
She did.
After two years of correspondence, they loved each other deeply and wanted to get married, but both of them worried that their families and tribes would shun them for their relationship. Nevertheless, with great humbleness and anxiety, Frances approached her parents to ask how much of a bride-price they wanted for her.
In Kenya a bride-price, is often the only means a family has to gain wealth. A healthy, hard-working female might bring many cows. Status is very important.
He was nervous and said, “I am just a poor schoolteacher, and I haven’t much money. But I love your daughter and want to marry her. I will pay anything you ask.”
Mary’s parents looked at him and replied,“There is much to do to plan a wedding. This is a celebration! We will discuss the bride-price when the two of you are settled.”
Frances smiled at me and said,“That was unheard of. A marriage never occurs without payment first. And between Kikuyus and Masais...it was an exceptional situation.”
A year went by before they had their first child. He returned to Mary’s parents and again inquired of the bride-price. As he and Mary were so busy with a new baby, they told him that he should wait until things calmed down a bit.
Several more years passed, and they had another child. He returned again to Mary’s parents and insisted that he needed to settle his debt. Once again, he said that he was a poor schoolteacher without much money, but that he was so happy and in love that he would pay anything.
Mary’s mother asked him, “What do you think is a fair price?”
Frances laughed and replied as a joke, “A lifetime of love and devotion from your loyal son-in-law!”
Mary’s mother smiled softly and whispered,“It is enough. The bride-price has been paid.”
Frances was silent for a time, and tears spilled over his cheeks as he drove.
“Have you ever told your wife exactly how you feel?”I asked suddenly. “Have you ever said,‘The first time I saw you I thought you were an angel. You were so beautiful...? ’”Frances snorted.“Of course not! Masai men don’t talk like that. All women know if they’re beautiful. They just need to look in a mirror. Besides, we’ve been married now for fifteen years. It would be silly to bring all that up now.”
“Frances!”I exclaimed.“You have to tell her. Especially if you’ve been married so long. Can you imagine the look on her face if you walked in one day and said,‘Listen, Mary... ’”
Frances shook his head. While he had been so open, perhaps I had overstepped the boundaries. Suddenly my ideals and youthful romanticism collided sharply with the ways of east Africa. We rode the rest of the trip in strained silence.
For the last days of my stay, Frances was cool and didn’t have much to say to me. I wanted to break the ice but thought that perhaps I had already said enough.
As our mission team waited to clear customs in the Nairobi airport, a commotion broke out as man ran toward us.“Kristie!”he called out.“Is there someone here name Kristie?”
I turned around and face the stranger with surprise.
“I have a message to you from Frances,”he panted. “He says to tell you that he talked with his wife...”
几年前，我念大学时，跟一个社会服务组织一起随使命团到了肯尼亚。我们十个大学生的任务是在马赛人的村庄里建起一个教室，与马赛人的孩子们分享手工活儿、小游戏和幽默故事。我们之前从未到过非洲，深色鲜活的大地和人们黝黑的肤色给我们留下了深刻的印象。
我们的司机叫弗兰西斯，是个黑肤色的马赛人，有着灿烂的笑容。一天夜里，弗兰西斯要送一位马赛人的酋长去当地的诊所，他问有没有人愿意陪他一起去。我自愿陪他上路，任务结束后，我们便往回赶，大约有50分钟的车程。我知道弗兰西斯结婚了，于是问他怎么认识他妻子的。
“我15岁时第一次见到我妻子，”他告诉我。“她与其他妇女一起到村里的井边打水。我跟朋友一起，在她面前卖力地表现自己，就像男孩子们常做的那样，但我们从没说过话。我看到她的第一眼时觉得她就像个天使。她那么美，她的笑容照亮了她身边的所有东西和所有人。”
他停了片刻来掩饰自己的笑意，然后他继续说。
“问题是，玛丽是基库尤人，而我是马赛人。这两个部落之间有仇恨和大屠杀的历史。他们不会通婚，也互相不信任。他们甚至互不讲话。”
他说两年后他才又见到玛丽。他17岁了，正打算去内罗毕上教师学院。他们说了很久的话。他想问她今后会呆在哪里，这样他就不会再次失去她了，不过他承认当时他的自尊心在作祟。最后，他只给她留了自己在内罗毕的地址，期待着如果她真的喜欢他的话她就会写信给他。
她真的写了。
他们通了两年的书信，深深相爱了，想结为夫妻，却又都担心他们的家庭和部落会拆散他们。不过，出于谦逊和急切的心情，弗兰西斯去拜见了她的父母，去问他们要收多少聘礼。
在肯尼亚，收订婚礼金几乎是一个家庭生财的惟一机会。一个健康、勤劳的女人可能会给娘家带来许多头牛。体面的地位非常重要。
弗兰西斯非常紧张，说：“我只是个很穷的教师，没有太多钱。但是我爱你们的女儿，想跟她结婚。无论你们提任何要求，我都会满足你们。”
玛丽的父母看看他，答复说：“筹办婚礼有很多事要做呢，会有一场仪式！等你们俩安顿下来后我们会商量聘礼的事的。”
弗兰西斯笑着对我说：“那可是前所未闻！没有下聘礼就举行婚礼！还是基库尤人与马赛人的婚礼……这太不寻常了！”
一年后，他们有了第一个孩子。他回到玛丽父母那里，又要求支付聘礼。由于玛丽和他正忙着照顾新生婴儿，玛丽的父母告诉他等到生活稍微安稳下来再说。
又是几年过去了，他们又有了一个孩子。他再度去玛丽父母家，坚持要偿还那笔“债”。他再次强调自己只是个穷教书匠，不过他很幸福，幸福地爱着，他愿意支付任何东西。
玛丽的妈妈问他：“你认为多少钱合理？”
弗兰西斯笑了，以玩笑的口吻回答说：“你的女婿一生的爱与奉献！”
玛丽的妈妈温柔地笑了，低声说：“够了！聘礼已经付清了。”
故事讲到这里，弗兰西斯默不作声了，他开着车，泪水却顺着脸颊流了下来……
“你告诉过妻子你的确切感受吗？”我突然发问。“你说过‘我第一次见到你时觉得你像个天使。你太美了……’”
弗兰西斯对我的话嗤之以鼻。“当然没有！马赛男人才不会那样说话呢。自己生得美不美，所有女人都会知道。她们只用照照镜子就知道了。还有，我们都结婚15年了。现在才说那样的话简直太可笑了。”
“弗兰西斯！”我喊了起来。“你必须告诉她！尤其是结婚这么多年了。你能想象得出这个情景吗，比如某天你走进房间对她说‘听着，玛丽……’。”
弗兰西斯摇摇头。尽管他对我敞开心扉，也许我的做法有点过了。突然，我觉得我的理想和年轻人的罗曼蒂克与东非的现实生硬地碰撞了。在剩下的路途里，我们都处于尴尬的沉默里。
在最后的几天里，弗兰西斯对我很冷淡，话也很少。我想打破僵局，但是又觉得也许我说得已经够多了。
在内罗毕机场，当我们的队伍在海关办理手续时，人群突然一阵骚乱，一个家伙跑了过来。“克里斯蒂！”他喊了起来。“这里有人叫克里斯蒂吗？”
我转过身，惊讶地看着这个陌生的家伙。
“弗兰西斯要我带一句话给你，”他气喘吁吁地说，“他要我告诉你他跟妻子谈过了……”
Emotion between man and dog
人犬情未了
My dog Coffee is a little black-and-brown Australian terrier. He’s not a particularly bright or obedient dog. He’s not even especially loyal. He comes when I call him only if he feels like it or if I have food in my hand. He confuses every command I give him and has no inkling when I’l upset or injured, so there would be no chance of him ever rescuing me from a perilous situation like the smart dogs you often read about.
But I’l the first to admit that a big part of the problem with Coffee’s attitude is his upbringing: he’s spoilt rotten. My dad is the biggest culprit. While Dad can instil fear in my sister and me just by the tone of his voice, I have never heard him raise his voice at Coffee — no matter how naughty he is. In fact, one look from Coffee at the biscuit tin is enough to send my dad flying to get him a snack. Whenever we protest about the unfair treatment, a guilty smirk creeps across Dad’s face. It’s become a long-standing family joke that Coffee is the closest thing to a son Dad will ever have.