书城教材教辅大学英语写作理论与实务
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第11章 段落写作(The Paragraph)(5)

On Sunday I went to a bookstore. There are many people there. Some were young and some were old, some were women some were men. I picked one book from the shelf and began to read. I found it was very interesting, so I decided to buy it. It was about a famous foreign politician who I admire in my heart. He had been in prison for many years, but later he was released because many people supported him. Now he becomes a famous man in the world. But when I felt in my pocket, I found my money was missing. I had to put it back. I felt very miserable, really miserable.

二、描写法(Development by Description)

描写通常按空间或时间顺序来进行。

1. 空间顺序(Space order)

常用词:where (ever), behind, before, under, in, out, over, above, within, outside, around, upon, in front, in back, to the left, to the right, at the top, at the bottom, to the north (south, east, etc), up, down, through

范文:

As I entered Professor Walta"s office, I could see that it is a reflection of his brisk, efficient personality. On the left wall, bookcases from floor to ceiling contain neat rows of books arranged in order by their subject. Directly ahead, two windows look out over the quad, their shades drawn precisely level, their curtains ted neatly back on either side. Centered on the wall on both sides of the windows are prints of Greek statues. In front of the windows are two modernistic chairs of chrome and vinyl, looking as though they have never been occupied, their backs reflecting the glare from the windows. On the right is Professor Walta"s desk, on which are neatly places a pipe-holder, a black vase with a single red rose, and, in the center of the desk, a square notebook that lies open as if waiting to record every breath taken in that room.

2. 时间顺序(Time order)

常用词:first, second, finally, at last, before, after, now, yesterday, tomorrow, the day before yesterday, the day after tomorrow, soon, later, afterwards, quarter, hour , day, week, month, year, decade, century, dawn, morning, noon, afternoon, dusk, night, midnight, life, time

范文:

Autumn may be considered to begin with the month of September and to end in November. In its early part, the weather is very warm and pleasant, but later on it becomes colder and the nights longer. People think this period is the most enjoyable time in the year, and prefers to have their holidays. Crops and fruittrees are now ripe; the fields are waving with yellow corn; and the trees and hedges change their color form a bright green to a muddy brown. In the middle of the season, the country presents a lively picture with the harvesting. It is the time for us to gather the fruits of our labor. Towards the end of the season, there is a touch of romance in the glorious hues of falling leaves. The trees begin to lose their foliage, and the branches gradually become bare. The ground is strewed with withered leaves.

病例分析:

(1)描写没有一定的顺序性。

Our campus is very beautiful. There are three teaching buildings. They are red brick buildings. We have our classes there. We also have a library. It is said to be built in 1979. There are many books in it, so we students often read books and magazines there. And our gate was a new gate, and I think it is very beautiful. Our dormitories are beautiful too, we also have a playground, we often play there to make our body stronger.

(2)主观评价多于客观描写。

My English teacher in high school was loved by all of us. We admired him because he was so handsome; we loved him because he was so responsible; we liked him because he was very gentle to us. He also taught us with different kinds of methods. Sometimes he would sing an English song in class. Because of him, we were all interested in English.

三、例证法(Development by Illustration)

例证经常用到的过渡词有:for example, for instance, that is, to illustrate, such as , like, as.

范文:

Home is where I can find similar ways of life. When I go shopping I can find clothes that Chinese people wear. I can buy things that are related to my culture. At home, I can speak my own language. I can express myself better. Communicating with others in my own language, gives me a sense of closeness. This is also true when I listen to Chinese songs on the radio. Sometimes the songs move me. When I turn on the television set, I can see familiar faces--black hair and dark eyes. I can see people of my own origin--in culture and in nationality. The movies reflect the real life of Chinese people and I enjoy watching them.

English grammar is just one of many things you know subconsciously far better than you know consciously. When you walk up a flight of stairs, for example, you can do so without having to think about how to do it. You can climb stairs while carrying on a conversation, while composing a love sonnet, even while walking in your sleep. Although many hundreds of muscles are finely coordinated in the task of climbing stairs, you perform it effortlessly and even gracefully, and without any apparent mental effort. Yet if you or I were asked to describe how we climb stairs we would do it very inaccurately at best: “Let"s see,” we might say. “First you bring the right leg up and bend the knee. You point the toe up, shift your weight forward, and bring the sole down on the next step. Then ...” Of course you would not have begun to describe which muscles you use when you bend the knee. Your description is a long way from capturing the directions your brain gives to your body as you move. The fact is that unless you are a highly trained physiologist, you do not “know” much about how you climb stairs. And yet in another sense you “know” how to do it quite well, since you do it all the time. Your conscious knowledge of the task cannot come close to matching what you know subconsciously.

--Richard Velt, Discovering English Grammar

运用例证法往往会犯两种错误:第一是举例不当,第二是例子没有主次顺序。

病例分析:

Population control is a fundamental policy in China. If the country is overcrowded too much, the government has to spend more money than they can afford to support them; Overcrowded, the country may seek more land to support its people, therefore it may want to have a war against other country....

再看另外一个例子: