书城外语享受一分钟的感动
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第39章 赐予心灵一面明镜 (10)

前面,黑发女人已经转过拐角,不见了踪影。与此同时,一个身穿海军陆战队制服的年轻人伸脚一绊。那人猛地跌倒,膝盖和胳膊肘都重重地砸在大厅的地板砖上,但他的手里仍紧紧地攥着那个不属于他的皮夹。

这只皮夹是一名妇女的,鼓鼓囊囊地装着钞票和像“萨克”、“佩克与佩克”、“洛德与泰勒”这种公司的信用卡。皮夹的主人是那个穿皮毛镶边外套的金发女人——他早先看到在和那个作贼的黑发女人交谈的金发女人。她也跑得气喘吁吁,像那个和她一同赶来的警察一样。

“就是他,”金发女人说,“是他偷了我的皮夹。”

他突然想到,他甚至无法向警察证实自己的身份。

时隔两星期之后——他不再那样尴尬和恼怒,家庭律师的报酬已经支付,家里的风波也已经过去——他的钱夹在上午送来的邮件中意外地出现了,没有附任何解释。皮夹原封未动,钱一点也没少,所有的证卡都在。尽管松了口气,但他觉得,在自己今后的人生旅途中,他在警察旁边会感到内疚,在女人们面前会感到羞愧难当。

Confidence自信

Some people are born with the belief that they are masters of their own lives. Others feel they are at the mercy of fate.

New research shows that parts of those feelings are in the genes.

Psychologists have long known that people confident in their ability to control their destinies are more likely to adjust well to growing old than those who feel that they drift on the currents of fate.

Two researchers who questioned hundreds of Swedish twins report that such confidence, or lark of it, is partly genetic and partly drawn from experience.

They also found that the belief in blind luck—a conviction that coincidence plays a big role in life is something learned in life and has nothing to do with heredity.

The research was conducted at the Karolinska Institute-better known as the body that annually awards the Nobel Prize for medicine by Nancy Pedersen of the Institute and Margaret Gatz, a professor of psychology at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles. Their results were recently published in the United States in the Journal of Gerontology.

People who are confident of their ability to control their lives have an “internal locus of control”, and have a better chance of being well adjusted in their old age, said Pedersen.

An “external locus of control”, believing that outside forces determine the course of life, has been linked to depression in latter years, she said.

“We are trying to understand what makes people different. What makes some people age gracefully and others have a more difficult time?” she said.

The study showed that while people have an inborn predilection toward independence and self-confidence, about 70 percent of this personality trait is affected by a person’s environment and lifetime experiences.

Pedersen’s studies, with various collaborators, probe the aging process by comparing sets of twins, both identical and fraternal, many of whom were separated at an early age.

The subjects were drawn from a roster first compiled about 30 years ago registering all twins born in Sweden since 1886. The complete list, which was extended in 1971, has 95,000 sets of twins.

有些人天生相信他们是自我生命的主宰,其他人则觉得他们受到命运的支配。

一项新的研究发现这些感觉部份来自基因。

心理学家早就知道有信心掌握自己命运的人比那些觉得自己是受命运摆布的人更能适应老化。

两位研究学家在询问了好几百对瑞典的双胞胎后报告说,这种信心,或是信心的缺乏,一部份是与基因有关,另一部份则是来自经验的累积。

他们同时发现,相信盲目运气的人认为,在生命中扮演一个很重要角色的机遇是在生活过程中学习得来的,而与遗传毫无关系。

这项研究是在卡洛林司卡机构里进行的。这个机构亦是每年颁赠诺贝尔医学奖的团体。该研究是由此机构的南西·皮德森与洛杉矶南加大的心理学教授玛格丽特·贾兹所主持,他们这项研究结果最近在美国老年学的期刊上登出。

皮德森说,对自己掌握生命的能力有信心的人有一种“内在控制的基因位点”,比较能够适应老年期。

她说,相信外在力量决定生命之旅的“外在控制的基因位点”与晚年沮丧的情绪有关。

她说:“我们想了解人与人之间相异的原因是什么。是什么原因使有些人安然悠哉地步入晚年,而有些人则比较困难?”

这项研究显示,有人能够拥有天生的自信与独立,而百分之七十有这种个性的人,会受到环境与一生的经验所影响。

皮德森的研究,囊括了许多不同的研究学者,从事双胞胎的比较,并探讨老化的过程。这些同卵及异卵双胞胎有许多都在很小的时候就分开了。

研究对象是由一本三十年前编纂的名册所抽出。这本名册登记有自一八八六年以来,所有在瑞典出生的双胞胎。这份完整的名单一直延续到一九七一年,共行几万五千对双胞胎。

Differences不同

It is curious that our own offenses should seem so much less heinous than the offenses of others. I suppose the reason is that we know all the circumstances that have occasioned them and so manage to excuse in ourselves what we cannot excuse in others. We turn our attention away from our own defects, and when we are forced by untoward events to consider them, find it easy to condone them. For all I know we are right to do this; they are part of us and we must accept the good and bad in ourselves together.

But when we come to judge others, it is not by ourselves as we really are that we judge them, but by an image that we have formed of ourselves fro which we have left out everything that offends our vanity or would discredit us in the eyes of the world. To take a trivial instance: how scornful we are when we catch someone out telling a lie; but who can say that he has never told not one, but a hundred?

There is not much to choose between men. They are all a hotchpotch of greatness and littleness, of virtue and vice, of nobility and baseness. Some have more strength of character, or more opportunity, and so in one direction or another give their instincts freer play, but potentially they are the same. For my part, I do not think I am any better or any worse than most people, but I know that if I set down every action in my life and every thought that has crossed my mind, the world would consider me a monster of depravity. The knowledge that these reveries are common to all men should inspire one with tolerance to oneself as well as to others. It is well also if they enable us to look upon our fellows, even the most eminent and respectable, with humor, and if they lead us to take ourselves not too seriously.

让人奇怪的是,和别人的过错比起来,我们自身的过错往往不是那样的可恶。我想,其原因应该是我们知晓一切导致自己犯错的情况,因此能够设法谅解自己的错误,而别人的错误却不能谅解。我们对自己的缺点不甚关注,即便是深陷困境而不得不正视它们的时候,我们也会很容易就宽恕自己。据我所知,我们这样做是正确的。缺点是我们自身的一部分,我们必须接纳自己的好和坏。

但是当我们评判别人的时候,情况就不同了。我们不是通过真实的自我来评判别人,而是用一种自我形象来评判,这种自我形象完全摒弃了在任何世人眼中会伤害到自己的虚荣或者体面的东西。举一个小例子来说:当觉察到别人说谎时,我们是多么地蔑视他啊!但是,谁能够说自从未说过谎?可能还不止一百次呢。

人和人之间没什么大的差别。他们皆是伟大与渺小,善良与邪恶,高尚与低俗的混合体。有的人性格比较坚毅,机会也比较多,因而达个或那个方面,能够更自由地发挥自己的禀赋,但是人类的潜能却都是相同的。至于我自己,我认为自己并不比大多数人更好或者更差,但是我知道,假如我记下我生命中每一次举动和每一个掠过我脑海的想法的话,世界就会将我视为一个邪恶的怪物。每个人都会有这样的怪念头,这样的认识应当能够启发我们宽容自己,也宽容他人。同时,假如因此我们得以用幽默的态度看待他人,即使是天下最优秀最令人尊敬的人,而且假如我们也因此不把自己看得过于重要,那是很有裨益的。