友谊的第二种功用就在它能卫养并支配理智,有如第一种功用之卫养并支配感情一样。因为友谊在感情方面使人出于烈风暴雨而入于光天化日,而在理智方面又能使人从黑暗和乱想入于白昼也。这不仅指一个人从朋友处得来的忠谏而言;即在得到这个之前,任何心中思虑过多的人,若能与旁人通言并讨论,则他的心智与理解力将变为清朗而有别;他的思想的动作将更为灵活;其排列将更有秩序;他可以看出来把这些思想变成言语的时候它们是什么模样;他终于变得比以往的他聪明,而要达到这种情形,一小时的谈话比一天的沉思为效更巨——这些都是没有疑义的。塞密斯陶克立斯对波斯王的话说得极是。他说:“言语有如张挂展览的花毡,其中的图形都是显明的;而思想则有如卷折起来的花毡。”友谊的这第二种功用(就是启发理智),也不限于那些能进忠言的朋友(他们当然是最好的朋友了),即令没有这样的朋友,一个人也能借言谈的力量自己增长知识,把自己的思想使之明白表现,并且把自己的机智磨厉得更为锋利,如磨刃于石,刃锐而石固不能割也。简言之,一个人,与其使他的思想窒息而灭,毋宁向雕像或图画倾诉一切之为愈也。
现在,为充分说明友谊的这第二种功用起见,我们再一谈那个显而易见的、流俗之人也可以注意到的那一点,就是朋友的忠言。赫拉克里塔斯在他的隐语之一中说得很好,“干光永远最佳”。一个人从另一个人的净言中所得来的光明比从他自己的理解力,判断力中所出的光明更是干净纯粹,这是无疑的:一个人从自己的理解力与判断力中得来的那种光明总不免是受他的感情和习惯的浸润影响的。因此,在朋友所给的诤言与自己所作的主张之间其差别有如良友的净言与谄佞的建议之间的差别一样。因为谄谀我者无过于我;而防御自谄自谀之术更无有能及朋友之直言者也。诤言共有两种:一是关于行为的,一是关于事业的。说到第一种,最能保人心神之健康的预防药就是朋友的忠言规谏。一个人的严厉自责是一种有时过于猛烈,蚀力过强的药品。
读劝善的好书不免沈闷无味。在别人身上观察自己的错误有时与自己的情形不符。最好的药方(最有效并且最易服用的)就是朋友的劝谏。许多人(尤其是伟大的人们)因为没有朋友向他们进忠告的缘故,做出大谬极误的事来,以致他们的名声和境遇均大受损失,这种情形看起来是很可惊异的。这些人是,有如圣雅各所说,“有时看看镜子,而不久就会忘了自己的形貌的。”讲到事业方面,一个人也许以为两只眼所见的并不多于一只眼所见的;或者以为局中人之所见总较旁观者之所见为多;或者以为一个在发怒中的人和一个默数过二十四个字母的人一般地聪明;或者以为一枝旧式毛瑟枪,托在臂上放和托在架上放一样地得力;他可以有许多类此的愚蠢骄傲的妄想,以为自己一身就很够了。然而能使事业趋于正轨者还数忠言。
又,假如有人想采纳别人的忠告,而愿意零碎采纳,在某一件事上问某一人,在另一件事上问另一人,这样的办法也好(这就是说,总比他全不问人的或者好一点);可是他冒着两种危险;一是他将得不到忠实的进言;因为所进的言论必须是来自一位完全诚心的朋友的才好,否则鲜有不被歪屈而倾向于进言人之私利者也。另一种危险是他所得的进言,将为一种有害而不安全的言论(虽然用意是好的)一半是招致祸患的而一半是救济或预防祸患的;有如你生病请医,而这位医生是虽被认为善治你所患的病症,却是不熟悉你的体质的;因此他也许会使你目前的疾病可以痊愈而将危害你健康的另一方面;结果是治了病症而杀了病人。一个完全通晓你的事业境遇的朋友则不然,他将小心注意,以免因为推进你目前的某种事业而使你在别的方面突受打击。所以最好不要依靠零零碎碎的忠告;它们扰乱和误引的可能多于安定和指导的可能也。
在友谊的这两种高贵的功效(心情上的平和与理智上的扶助)之后还有那最末的一种功效:这种功效有如石榴之多核。这句话的意思就是朋友对于一个人的各种行为,各种需要,都有所帮助,有所参加也。在这一点上,若要把友谊的多种用途很显明生动地表现出来,最好的方法是计算一下,看看一个人有多少事情是不能靠自己去办理的:这样计算一下之后,我们就可以看得出古人所谓“朋友者另一己身也”的那句话是一句与事实相较还很不够的话;因为一个朋友比较一个人的己身用处还要大得多。人的生命有限,有许多人在没有达到最大的心愿——如子女的婚事,工作之完成,等等——之前就死了。要是一个人有了一位真心的朋友,那末他就大可安心,知道这些事件在他死后还是有人照料的。如此,一个人在完成心愿上简直是有两条性命了。
一个人有一个身体,而这个身体是限于一个地方的;但是假如他有朋友,那末所有的人生大事都可算是有人办理了。就是他自己不能去的地方,他的朋友也可以代表他的。还有,有多少事是一个人为了颜面的关系,不能自己说或办的!一个人不能自承有功而免矜夸之嫌,更不用说是不能表扬自己的功绩了;他有时也不能低首下心地去有所恳求;诸如此类的事很多。但是这一切的事,在一个人自己的嘴里说出来未免赧颜的,在朋友嘴里说出来却是很好。类此,一个人还有许多身份上的关系,是他不能弃置不顾的。例如,一个人对儿子讲话,就不能不保持父亲的身份;对妻子讲话就不能不保持丈夫的身份;对仇敌讲话就不能不顾虑自己的体面:但是一个朋友却可以就事论事,而不必顾虑到人的方面。这一类的事情要一一列举出来是说不完的;要之,一个人若是有某种事自己不能很得体地去做时,我对他有一条规则可说,就是,他如果没有朋友的话,那末他只有“下台”之一法。
A Thief小偷
He is waiting for the airline ticket counter when he first notices the young woman. She has glossy black hair pulled tightly into a knot at the back of her bead-the man imagines it loosed and cascading to the small of her back-and carries over she shoulder of her leather coat a heavy black purse. She wears black boots of soft leather. He struggles to see her face-she is ahead of him in line-but it is not until she has bought her ticket and turns to walk away that he realizes her beauty, which is pale and dark-eyed and full-mouthed, and which quickens his heart beat. She seems aware that he is staring at her and lowers her gaze abruptly.
The airline clerk interrupts. The man gives up looking at the woman—he thinks she may be about twenty-five—and buys a round-trip, coach class ticket to an eastern city.
His flight leaves in an hour. To kill time, the man steps into one of the airport cocktail bars and orders a scotch and water. While he sips it he watches the flow of travelers through the terminal-including a remarkable number, he thinks, of an unattached pretty women dressed in fashion magazine clothes-until he catches sight of the black-haired girl in the leather coat. She is standing near a Travelers Aid counter, deep in conversation with a second girl, a blond in a cloth coat trimmed with gray fur. He wants somehow to attract the brunette’s attention, to invite her to have a drink with him before her own flight leaves for wherever she is traveling, but even though he believes for a moment she is looking his way he cannot catch her eye from out of the shadows of the bar. In another instant the two women separate; neither of their direction is toward him. He orders a second Scotch and water.
When next he sees her, he is buying a magazine to read during the flight and becomes aware that someone is jostling him. At first he is startled that anyone would be so close as to touch him, but when he sees who it is he musters a smile.
“Busy place,” he says.
She looks up at him—is she blushing?—and an odd grimace crosses her mouth and vanishes. She moves away from him and joins the crowds in the terminal.
The man is at the counter with his magazine, but when he reaches into his back pocket for his wallet the pocket is empty. Where could I have lost it? He thinks. His mind begins enumerating the credit cards, the currency, the membership and identification cards; his stomach churns with something very like fear. The girl who was so near to me, he thinks-and all at once he understands that she has picked his pocked.