书城外语魅力英文ⅵ:幸福从心开始
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第31章 打开你心灵的窗户 (2)

Why? The question makes them ponder their position in society and they realize they’re pretty lucky. The implication: If you have a hefty portfolio or hefty paycheck, you can probably bolster your happiness by regularly contemplating your good fortune.

Meanwhile, if you are less well off, avoid situations where you feel deprived -- and seek out those where comparisons are in your favor. Rather than buying the cheapest house in a wealthy neighborhood, settle for a town where people have similar salaries. When you think about your net worth, forget your well-heeled sister and focus on your cash-strapped brother.

Don't go it alone

Studies have found that married folks are happier than those who are single.

“Marriage provides two sources of happiness,” says Andrew Oswald, an economics professor at England's Warwick University. “One is sex and the other is friendship. Marriage has one of the largest impacts on human well-being.'”

Similarly, spending time with friends can boost happiness. Studies indicate that commuting is one of life’s least enjoyable activities, that looking after the kids is more of a struggle than we like to admit and that eating is one of life’s great pleasures.

But all of these things can be enhanced by adding friends. Commuting with others will make the trip less grim, playing with the kids will be more fun if there's another adult along and eating with others is better than eating alone.

We like to feel secure

Midlife is a period of relative unhappiness. This dissatisfaction may stem from the lack of control felt by those in their 40s, as they juggle raising children and the demands of work.

By contrast, employees in senior positions, retirees and those with good job security often report being happy. One explanation: They have greater control over their daily lives.

“There’s a profound link between insecurities of all kinds and human well-being,” Prof. Oswald notes. “Supervisors are happier than those who are supervised. Job loss is an enormous negative and job security is an enormous plus to mental health.”

We enjoy making progress

Studies suggest we prefer leisure to work. But that doesn’t mean work is always a source of unhappiness. We like the feeling of performing a job competently and being in the flow of work.

“There are definitely better and worse jobs,” says David Schkade, a management professor at the University of California at San Diego. “If you’re in the flow more often, that's going to be a better job.'”

But Prof. Schkade says work's real pleasure may come from the sense of accomplishment we feel afterward. “We know progress makes people feel good,” he says. “You should design a life where you have that feeling of progress.”

Work also has the benefit of making leisure seem sweeter, Prof. Schkade adds. This may be the reason seniors who set out solely to relax and have fun are often disappointed by their retirement.

We adapt to improvements

In pursuit of progress, we strive for faster cars, fatter paychecks and winning lottery tickets.

Yet, when we get what we hanker after, we quickly become dissatisfied and soon we’re lusting after something else. Academics refer to this as the “hedonic treadmill” or “hedonic adaptation.'”

We may, however, be able to slow the process of adaptation. If we go out and celebrate our recent promotion, we will hang onto the good feelings for a little longer. If we bought a house last year, we may recover some of the initial thrill by pausing to admire our new home.

We should also think about how we spend our money. It seems we get more lasting happiness from experiences than goods.

If we buy a new car, it will eventually go from being our pride and joy to being a scruffy set of wheels with an irritating rattle. But if we spend our money on meals with friends or vacations with family, we will be left with fond memories that may grow even fonder with time.

We also adapt to setbacks.

While adaptation can work against us when good things happen, it saves us from misery when bad times strike. If a close friend dies, we imagine we will never laugh again. But adaptation rides to the rescue.

Oddly enough, it seems we adjust more quickly if a setback is large or irreversible. If we become disabled, we will likely adapt with surprising speed. If our spouse is a slob, we may never get used to it.

One reason: We figure there's still a chance our spouse will change his or her slovenly ways.

We enjoy behaving virtuously.

If we volunteer, give to charity or behave politely, we usually feel pretty good.

Pure altruism? It may, instead, be our ancient instincts kicking in. Good behavior paid big dividends in ancient societies, notes Boston money manager Terry Burnham, co-author of “Mean Genes.”

“Virtue is built into us because virtue was rewarded,” he argues. “In small-scale societies, where you are well known, there are rewards for being a good citizen and severe punishments for being a rule breaker.'”

Still, whatever our true motivation, behaving virtuously is almost always a good thing—and it will likely make us happier.

我总是痴迷于那些对人类幸福进行的学术研究,因为它们能把我们为之头疼不解的问题解释得如科学般严密而准确。我们会以为财富的多少是与一个人的幸福程度成正比的,但研究显示,美国人如今对生活现状的满意程度不比三十年前高多少,要知道当时的生活水平是远远不及现在的啊。

那么,如果财富无法增加人们的幸福感,什么能呢?通过对“幸福”的研究,我们列出了下面七大关键因素。要增加人们的幸福感,不是没有办法──但仅有鼓囊囊的钱包是不够的。

关注那些真正重要的事

并不是收入越高就越感觉幸福。但如果被问及对生活的满意程度如何,高收入群体给出肯定回答的几率往往会比较大。

为什么会如此?因为这个问题会引发他们去思考自己的社会地位,从而意识到自己其实是非常幸运的。从中可以看出:如果你有一套重量级的资产或是一份丰厚的薪水,时不时地想想自己的好运吧,这也许会提升你的幸福感。

而如果你不是“大款”,就尽量避免那些让你感到财不如人的情况,想想那些人无我有或是人有我优的东西。还有,与其在富人区里买幢最便宜的房子,不如和那些与你生活水平相当的人住在一起。想知道自己到底身价几许时,别去想家境殷实的姐姐,多想想一贫如洗的哥哥好了。

拒绝单身

研究发现,已婚人士的生活要比单身一族幸福。

英格兰华威大学经济学教授安德鲁·奥斯瓦德指出,婚姻给人们带来了两种幸福之源,“性福”和友谊,它对人类的影响是无可估量的。