And then, in the second place, you seem to me, on the whole, so happy! One hesitates to destroy an illusion, no matter how pernicious, that is so delightful while it lasts. These are the rare moments of life. To be young and ardent, in the midst of an Italian spring, and to believe in the moral perfection of a beautiful woman--what an admirable situation! Float with the current; I'll stand on the brink and watch you.""Your real reason is that you feel you have no case against the poor lady," said Stanmer. "You admire her as much as I do.""I just admitted that I admired her. I never said she was a vulgar flirt; her mother was an absolutely scientific one. Heaven knows Iadmired that! It's a nice point, however, how much one is hound in honour not to warn a young friend against a dangerous woman because one also has relations of civility with the lady.""In such a case," said Stanmer, "I would break off my relations."I looked at him, and I think I laughed.
"Are you jealous of me, by chance?"
He shook his head emphatically.
"Not in the least; I like to see you there, because your conduct contradicts your words.""I have always said that the Countess is fascinating.""Otherwise," said Stanmer, "in the case you speak of I would give the lady notice.""Give her notice?"
"Mention to her that you regard her with suspicion, and that you propose to do your best to rescue a ******-minded youth from her wiles. That would be more loyal." And he began to laugh again.
It is not the first time he has laughed at me; but I have never minded it, because I have always understood it.
"Is that what you recommend me to say to the Countess?" I asked.
"Recommend you!" he exclaimed, laughing again; "I recommend nothing.
I may be the victim to be rescued, but I am at least not a partner to the conspiracy. Besides," he added in a moment, "the Countess knows your state of mind.""Has she told you so?"
Stanmer hesitated.
"She has begged me to listen to everything you may say against her.
She declares that she has a good conscience.""Ah," said I, "she's an accomplished woman!"And it is indeed very clever of her to take that tone. Stanmer afterwards assured me explicitly that he has never given her a hint of the liberties I have taken in conversation with--what shall I call it?--with her moral nature; she has guessed them for herself. She must hate me intensely, and yet her manner has always been so charming to me! She is truly an accomplished woman!
May 4th.--I have stayed away from Casa Salvi for a week, but I have lingered on in Florence, under a mixture of impulses. I have had it on my conscience not to go near the Countess again--and yet from the moment she is aware of the way I feel about her, it is open war.
There need be no scruples on either side. She is as free to use every possible art to entangle poor Stanmer more closely as I am to clip her fine-spun meshes. Under the circumstances, however, we naturally shouldn't meet very cordially. But as regards her meshes, why, after all, should I clip them? It would really be very interesting to see Stanmer swallowed up. I should like to see how he would agree with her after she had devoured him--(to what vulgar imagery, by the way, does curiosity reduce a man!) Let him finish the story in his own way, as I finished it in mine. It is the same story; but why, a quarter of a century later, should it have the same denoument? Let him make his own denoument.
5th.--Hang it, however, I don't want the poor boy to be miserable.
6th.--Ah, but did my denoument then prove such a happy one?
7th.--He came to my room late last night; he was much excited.
"What was it she did to you?" he asked.
I answered him first with another question. "Have you quarrelled with the Countess?"But he only repeated his own. "What was it she did to you?""Sit down and I'll tell you." And he sat there beside she candle, staring at me. "There was a man always there--Count Camerino.""The man she married?"
"The man she married. I was very much in love with her, and yet Ididn't trust her. I was sure that she lied; I believed that she could be cruel. Nevertheless, at moments, she had a charm which made it pure pedantry to be conscious of her faults; and while these moments lasted I would have done anything for her. Unfortunately they didn't last long. But you know what I mean; am I not describing the Scarabelli?""The Countess Scarabelli never lied!" cried Stanmer.
"That's just what I would have said to any one who should have made the insinutation! But I suppose you are not asking me the question you put to me just now from dispassionate curiosity.""A man may want to know!" said the innocent fellow.
I couldn't help laughing out. "This, at any rate, is my story.
Camerino was always there; he was a sort of fixture in the house. If I had moments of dislike for the divine Bianca, I had no moments of liking for him. And yet he was a very agreeable fellow, very civil, very intelligent, not in the least disposed to make a quarrel with me. The trouble, of course, was simply that I was jealous of him. Idon't know, however, on what ground I could have quarrelled with him, for I had no definite rights. I can't say what I expected--I can't say what, as the matter stood, I was prepared to do. With my name and my prospects, I might perfectly have offered her my hand. I am not sure that she would have accepted it--I am by no means clear that she wanted that. But she wanted, wanted keenly, to attach me to her;she wanted to have me about. I should have been capable of giving up everything--England, my career, my family--simply to devote myself to her, to live near her and see her every day.""Why didn't you do it, then?" asked Stanmer.
"Why don't you?"